soybean311 Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I posted a while back, but can't find my original post. So, let me briefly explain the first break up once more. We met in June, got together on July 4th, I gave her the choice to stick with me while I go to finish up my college 1.5 hours away (driving distance). She just works up in P-town. Anyway, July - October were the best days of my life. She's my first girlfriend, first everything, i'm 22, and she's 19. In November she started acting all weird, and she broke up with me when I got back from school for Christmas break before I went to my trip to Vegas. I was a wreck. Depressed, and she would still want me to hangout with her. So, I did. Which led to making out, and leading onto sex. We weren't together, but she made it like we were. I would go out, party, go to bars, and she would call asking me where I was. She would get upset. I would see her, and she would kiss me and stuff. It seemed like she really wanted to get back with me. I leave for Winter term, and the first week i'm there she calls me asking if I was going to come home that weekend. I said no, why? She asked if I could spend the night at her house. So I said sure, and that night she told me she wanted a second chance. So I gave it to her. Well, everything was good until I came home for Spring Break...I was going to Cali for a trip with my family. She said everything was going to be ok, but knowing me, everything felt weird again. She dumped me two days before I was coming back home. Her reasons? Same as before. She misses those days when we first got together, and she can't deal with the long distance. For me, it was all repetitative, so I wasn't that hurt this time. So, I go back to school and she calls me right when I get to my place down here. She started crying telling me she misses me and still loves me. I kept my cool, telling her to calm down, and that I'm just tired of getting my heart broken every three months. I stopped talking to her, and started focusing on school, and hanging out with friends. She decided that I didn't want to be friends with her and she said her goodbye. I told her I need time. She's too impatient. I got a phone call from her a few weeks ago and we talked for about four hours. Just about everything. She told me she misses me a lot and loves me. Everytime I would go up to see my family, she would text me or IM me asking if we could hangout, I told her "we'll see" and she would get mad. Well, last night I found out that at a party she went to last week she was caught naked with another guy. I know she's not my girlfriend anymore, but it hurts so much that in one month of our second break up she's going around f***ing around. I haven't done s***! She thinks I'm whoring out, but I haven't kissed or had sex with another girl. I haven't seen my ex in one month. She requested to be my friend again on myspace yesterday, but after hearing what I found out from my friend, I deleted her. Why should I waste my time thinking about someone who says she cares but pulls something like that? It's bulls***. She's leaving for Alaska next month and IM's me saying: "I'm leaving next month, so it's up to you to make time to see me." Why do I have to see her? Why does she want to see me so bad? She complained about not seeing me in one month. She now says that I need to make the time to see her? I'm not the one who broke up with her twice. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I really thought that she would just keep her cool, but instead she turns into who she used to be before we got together. Her true colors have been shown, and it makes me feel like s***. I know it could just be her way of getting over someone. I'm trying my best, I even straight up asked her if she wanted me to move on. She said no! The part that hurts the most is that I spent 8 months of my life with this girl, gave her my heart, and respected her. I'm the only guy in her life that's ever treated her this good. I'm the only one that has ever loved her and meant it. She felt like she didn't deserve me at all while we were together, but how the hell does she think she deserves me as a friend? She still wants to see if we can start fresh when I'm done with college, but I'm not going to wait on her. She did treat me like s*** from time to time, everyone around me saw it, but me. I'm just hurt at the fact that everything she has done so far makes me feel like I am nothing to her. She wanted to be friends after our break up, but I told her I need time. She's made a lot of effort into being my friend, but I haven't returned the same. I feel like a jerk, but all my friends have been telling me that she deserves nothing from me. It's so hard going from being somebody to someone to being just a friend. Sorry for the length of my post
Yamaha Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 If you don't want her as just a friend don't put yourself in that position. She just wants some emotional support from you but doesn't want to be your g/f. I would let her go and wish her well and continue on with your life.
corwin Posted May 3, 2006 Posted May 3, 2006 From what you describe, it sounds to me like she's been seeing the other guy or guys all along. The reason she breaks up with you is she might feel a little guilty about it. Her feelings of not deserving you could be caused by this. What does your gut tell you about this? I hope you were using protection while having sex with her. If not, you might want to get tested for STD's. I'm not saying this to make her sound like a whore. But STD's are a very real concern in today's world and can affect you for life. She sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do yet. My advice is to move on. You're still young and should experience what life has to offer.
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