silentcharon Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 I'm not sure if this is the right catergory to post this, so I'm sorry if it isn't. This has been bothering me for a while. I gave him a ring a few years ago, he wore it all the time. He gave me two rings as well. I took them off, finally, after a few years of wearing them, however painful it was, I took them off a month ago and haven't worn them since. My ex, as far as I've seen, has not worn his ring since the break up. Until a few nights ago. He called me up and asked if I would be interested in playing magic with him one night. I told him I'd come over after work for a bit, so we made it a date. I came over after work and we started sorting out our decks. I looked over at his deck, and immediately noticed he was wearing the ring on his "marriage" finger. I was really taken aback, I wanted to ask him why in the world was he wearing the ring I gave him, out of all the rings (he has a collection), on *THAT* finger. But I didn't, because I resolved not to talk about the relationship or anything whenever I did see him, giving him the space he wants. I figured, if he wants to talk, he'll talk, right? So I didn't ask about it at all, or act any differently. I went home afterwards, and in the morning, I called him and asked if I could come get my hearing aid I forgot there the night before. I came over to grab it quickly, and when I did, he was still wearing the ring. I gave him a hug, and when I was going to let him go, he still held me for a while longer. I didn't think much of it, and told him I had to go, so I left. Later that night, I was invited to a party to watch the Flames play against the ducks, so I went. Everything was going good, I was catching up with some friends, etc, until he showed up. He rode his bike all the way to the party from his house (the terrain can get pretty rough). He wasn't wearing the ring anymore. I'm not sure how to look at this whole thing. Maybe he just likes wearing the ring? Or is he doing it to tell me something? Or is he playing a cruel game? He took it off maybe because he didn't want to wreck it while riding his bike? etc etc I told my friend about it, how it really bugged me. I'm trying not to let it bother me, I'm VERY VERY tempted to ask my ex, but I'm not going to, I REFUSE. She said, "well, maybe he was wearing it to let you know that he still loves you, but took it off before going to the party, to let you know even though he loves you, it's over?" I pointed out that it may be the case, but still, WHY in the world would he do something like that just to remind me? This is the first time I've seen him wear it since the break up. I just question this whole thing because he chose to wear the ring I gave him on the "marriage" finger. I was just wondering if you guys had any idea why he might have done this. Is he trying to send me a message, good or bad? Am I reading too much into this thing??
Skeered Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 or maybe he just felt like wearing the ring for no other reason just to have one on...maybe that finger was more comfortable for it to be on... I think if you really want to know the reason if there is one other than what I have said you should ask him...You say you refuse to ask him then I guess your going to wonder about it for a long time or never know. I don't think it was for any reason other than what I have stated. I think even though you break up with a person you still hold feelings for them, hence the extended hug...don't read too much into it unless you are willing to ask him...just my .02
Author silentcharon Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 Good advice. Yes, he might have just felt like having one ring on, but why choose that ring? He has maybe 10 rings, so why that one out of 10, especially on that finger? This is driving me a little crazy, but I guess that's just me, meh. I just won't ask him any questions about it or the relationship because he said he needed space, so I will give it to him. However, if he does this again, I will ask though. Argh!
basscatcher Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 sounds to me like he was playing with you. he knew if you seen him wear that ring on his wedding finger it would stir you.. i believe if he is serious about getting together with you again he would wear it ALL the time. not take it off to go to a social gathering. if you ARE the one for him he would wear that ring all the time... thats my .02.. ---------- my xbf has told me that the ring i gave him is in his shaving bag and when he is in the bathroom alone he sometimes takes it out and puts it on and remembers US.. he is now married to the women from his past just before me. he went back to her and recently married her in feb. he recently told me (online chat) he put 'my' ring on when he was alone. his wife doesnt know he has 'my' ring in his bag in the bathroom. he is f-up. ---------------- i think your guy is playing a game or he maybe just as indecisive as my x about his life. (i wont take back my x. i don't want his issues in my life.) yours is already affecting you... he's your x for a reason-right?
Spitkicker Posted May 3, 2006 Posted May 3, 2006 I agree as well. I believe that he was playing you for a fool... I mean.. seriously. Look how you're acting over it? If he kept it on during the party knowing that you were there... then that would be a different story.
Author silentcharon Posted May 3, 2006 Author Posted May 3, 2006 Then should I ask him not to wear the ring at least not on the marriage finger unless he meant it?
basscatcher Posted May 3, 2006 Posted May 3, 2006 I wouldn't say anything about it and I would dismiss it from my mind. Whether or not you were going to be at that party doesn't matter,. If he was sincere about getting back together with you he would wear the ring no matter what and if he was wearing it for signifigance he would wear it on his ring finger otherwise he would wear it as just a peice of jewelry. I think he is purposely playing head games with you to see how you would react.. He is playing games with you. Don't let him play on your emotions and thoughts like this. You need to stop obsessing about this and blow it off. He is F-ing with you....... It's not right.. You don't deserve to be played with. If he was a real man he would tell you upfront if he wanted to try again with you. This emotional/psychological game with the ring is childish. Stop focusing on the ring and why he is doing this and go about your life for YOU.. This kind of game will only lead you into more. Is that what you want? If not, then stop obsessing and blow him off before you get so wrapped up in this that it affects your everyday life. He is your X for a reason.... Sorry I'm being so blunt. This is my opinion and I feel it from my gutt. you are reacting just the way he wants. Don't let him know it.
Author silentcharon Posted May 6, 2006 Author Posted May 6, 2006 Nah. I'm not going to ask, I'm not worried about it. Pffft!
Recommended Posts