Author basscatcher Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 I'm not clear headed these days. I am so frickin numb and floating through each day. The only focus I am really trying to be on is this job interview.. I come to work and I get pissed. I'm so sick of shyt here. Ughh. My son is being a pain in my a$$--teenage irritation. (ya know-he has something to say about everything, he thinks HE is always right, complaints about his hair, lazy.) My car is acting up majorly. (friend fixed front brakes this weekend and said the water pump is going out.) car stalled several times on sunday and had no acceleration power until i shut it off for about 15 minutes then it was fine.. i hate this frickin car. its been raining for days and days.. there is sunshine today but i wont be able to enjoy it until 3:30 today. I'm just not mentally, logically or emotionally unstable right now. I think I need to crawl in a hole for awhile.. Everything irratates me. Maybe after my 'friend' comes in a week or so I will feel better. PMS might be a major issue this month.. Its the only thing I can think of that is causing me to be so majorly hypersensitive.
Art_Critic Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I think I need to crawl in a hole for awhile.. I know how you feel.. I've been in my hole for quite a while now.. I have plenty of room.. come on in.. Nothing wrong with hibernation mode.. Please don't let all this affect your chances of getting your new job.. that can be the kick you need to bring yourself out of this.. ***Hugz***
2sunny Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I know how you feel.. I've been in my hole for quite a while now.. I have plenty of room.. come on in.. Nothing wrong with hibernation mode.. Please don't let all this affect your chances of getting your new job.. that can be the kick you need to bring yourself out of this.. ***Hugz*** And here I thought I was the only one hibernating!!!
Art_Critic Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 And here I thought I was the only one hibernating!!! I've taken it one step past hibernation and believe I am now hiding... Been hiding for about 6 months now.. and I hibernated longer than that..
2sunny Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I've taken it one step past hibernation and believe I am now hiding... Been hiding for about 6 months now.. and I hibernated longer than that.. The problem now is that I sort of like the hibernating mode. Unusual for me as I am normally a very social person. Hmmmm
Author basscatcher Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 I know how you feel.. I've been in my hole for quite a while now.. I have plenty of room.. come on in.. Nothing wrong with hibernation mode.. Please don't let all this affect your chances of getting your new job.. that can be the kick you need to bring yourself out of this.. ***Hugz*** PMS is not a easy thing to handle when the women is emotionally unstable.. I just want to stationary myself and get some TLC right now. ((((((((HUGS))))))))))
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I dunno if it's the best thing to rationalize that behavior. I've heard it from guys before. I was stressed out. I have s*** in my life going on. I guess the best idea in that situaiton would have been to listen to your gut and NOT give in and let him come over. I think the mistake was not listening to yourself, Pada.
Author basscatcher Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 I dunno if it's the best thing to rationalize that behavior. I've heard it from guys before. I was stressed out. I have s*** in my life going on. I guess the best idea in that situaiton would have been to listen to your gut and NOT give in and let him come over. I think the mistake was not listening to yourself, Pada. True, Although, I don't regret being physically aggressive with him. I warned him that I was in that mood and it wasn't wise for him to come over. He knew I was upset with him and I warned him... So its his own damn fault that he got the treatment he recieved.. I don't feel bad about it. He made the choice. He knew I wasn't friendly. He chose to walk into the lions den.. He asked for it. He was given fair and thorough warning. I don't think a level headed man would have walked purposely into that kind of situation... I had an offer to go out that night with another man and I chose not too because of my rotten mood and also the fact I'm not ready to go out with someone else yet. This man knows a little bit of what I am going through. Not all the details just the surface stuff. I still feel that negative mood in me. I am working like hell to get out of it.. It really sucks. I hope I snap out of this soon because I am really beginning to sound like a bitch to everyone. The tone is in my voice. I feel bad mostly for me; for allowing myself to step over that line...
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Look at this as if you saw a man writing this post. True, Although, I don't regret being physically aggressive with her. I warned herthat I was in that mood and it wasn't wise for her to come over. She knew I was upset with her and I warned her... So its her own damn fault that she got the treatment she recieved.. I don't feel bad about it. She made the choice. She knew I wasn't friendly. She chose to walk into the lions den.. She asked for it. She was given fair and thorough warning. I don't think a level headed woman would have walked purposely into that kind of situation... This is not a good way to think about the situation. I have heard men say almost the exact same thing to me. It was my fault I got pushed, or shoved, or hit. Because I knew he was in a bad mood and I still pushed his buttons. I feel bad mostly for me; for allowing myself to step over that line... But this is a good thing, I think.
littlekitty Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Look at this as if you saw a man writing this post. This is not a good way to think about the situation. I have heard men say almost the exact same thing to me. It was my fault I got pushed, or shoved, or hit. Because I knew he was in a bad mood and I still pushed his buttons. But this is a good thing, I think. BO said what I was a little unsure of saying. Regardless of how much warning he had, it was still stepping over the line to hit another person. It doesn't matter that he willingly put himself in that position with a grumpy women, it doesn't make it right. Pada, you don't want to be that person do you? You aren't that person. Stop procranstinating and get this ended cleanly and clearly. Fingers crossed on the new job etc. It could be just the right change for you. I know its hard when there's a million things you're trying to deal with all at once. But you have to make the first big change and then things can get better from there.
Dagny Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Sometimes people like getting big angry reactions out of another person. It shows that the other person care enough to work him or herself up into such a rage.
Author basscatcher Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 Dagny Its still not right... Charlie knows I care. He knows I care deeply. He is playing with my feelings for him to keep me. Its not fair.. It's not right. I have explained to him that I am becoming very unhealthy with him in my life. I was/am not happy in the relationship. My wants and needs aren't being met. It like putting food in front of a baby and not giving it to them while they are sitting in their highchair starving.. The baby will throw a fit eventually because he can see the food but can't reach it. Charlie is doing this to me. He would call me all the time and would go out with me 3-6 evenings a week but he wouldn't tell me how he feels about me, he couldn't tell me what he wants, he couldn't tell me what he dreams. He doesn't give me hugs, hold my hand, touch my back or arm, he can't look me in the eye except for a quick glimpse. When we were out in public he was so busy watching everyone else (especially women) that I felt like I didn't exhist. He flirted shamelessly with my gfs and I felt like I wasn't even there. I tried to talk to him about all these things but he won't face them, talk about them, deal with them, change them. He wont even apoligize for his behavior when he has offended or hurt me.. It's almost like he has no sense of emotion. No feelings. No shame, No guilt. No embarrassment. No sense of understanding another persons feelings. Gawd he doesn't even know what he feels himself about things. He is driving me mad and I've been allowing it... I fell into this dysfunction with eyes open yet also with blinders on.. I have to much hope and faith in people growing, learning and changing that I allow myself to get in unhealthy relationships that hurt me and in turn I start to retailate and hurt back.. I am spirialing downward. I need to crawl in a hole until I can cope better. I need TLC for myself..
littlekitty Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 He is driving me mad and I've been allowing it... I fell into this dysfunction with eyes open yet also with blinders on.. I have to much hope and faith in people growing, learning and changing that I allow myself to get in unhealthy relationships that hurt me and in turn I start to retailate and hurt back.. I am spirialing downward. I need to crawl in a hole until I can cope better. I need TLC for myself.. Firstly... *HUGS* Find a safe, secure hole and crawl in to recover and regroup. We all know the desire for that. This is what I wanted to hear you say. This is what I could see, but wanted you to recognise, or more accurately I feel, admit. You gave so much rope, you hung yourself. The rest of it doesn't matter. Who Charlie is, what he did, what his problems are... it isn't of consequence to you now. You need to break all ties and concentrate on getting yourself back into a healthy state of living. It's time to put Pada first. Why it didn't work doesn't matter any more. But if you want the answer, it's in your own posts, you just have to read them. You gave too much. Time to take some back for you.
Dagny Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I don't think its right at all. When I meant to say people like to see big outbursts of emotion from another, its a power struggle kind of thing. which is really unhealthy. I thought that might explain why he was weirdly happy when you behaved that way I'm really sorry, I hope everything gets better.
Recommended Posts