basscatcher Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Why the hell can't he get it!! Saturday I was PMSing badly. I was in no mood to deal with much of anything. I had a lot of physical negative energy and a extreme lack of self control and Charlie wanted to get together. I had earlier that day journaled about him. I allowed him to come over although I warned him of my nasty mood. I told him if he can handle whatever happens. He said he could so he walked in the lions den... He came over around 11pm. We cooked two steaks on my forman grille because we both needed to eat. I was rude right from the start. He smelled good though. I felt like punching him *abusive I know.. He told me to do it. I looked at him is disbelief. He was serious. i didn't at that time. We sat down to eat and I didn't have much of a appetite so he finished mine. I got a urge and I sucker punched him in the rib and got him good. (I warned him to be onguard.) he was ok with it. He did comment that I was in a nasty mood. (He has never seen me that way...) I began to get on him. Internally kinda of hoping I would push him out the door with my nagging.. I was all over the map with my mood. I didn't want to ask him to leave yet I was irratated with him for the past almost 4 months os shyt... (He still hasn't apoligized for his behavior....) I pulled out my journal and I read it too him. He refused to accept it. Just like the conversation I had with him about breaking up and the letter I wrote him about breaking up. He refused to accept it.. He won't take me serious... I told him he and I are going no where in the relationship. He is selfish and self centered. He isn't affectionate or attentitve to ME. I am not happy.... He didn't care he grabbed me and hugged me for a long time.. I'm tired of this... Frickin bugs the hell out of me. The way I talked to him and treated him Saturday night would have made any man leave.. Why the hell did he stay for the abuse... I was not nice to him.... Is this what he has wanted me to do is flip out and abuse him??? Do some men like this in a woman? Is he turned on by my abuseivness towards him?? WTF.... I am thinking about it all and I can't help but think this man is a glutton for punishment from me. The more I reject him the more he holds on... WTH...
SmoochieFace Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Why are you *allowing* him to come over if you broke it off with him?
Author basscatcher Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 Because I was in destructive mode saturday and I chose too allow him to come over. *Smooch be good or Ill put you back on ignor. I'm in no mood to have shyt shoved in my face. I am dealing the best way I know how.. I asked for answers not attacks to what I am doing... Understand??
SmoochieFace Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Because I was in destructive mode saturday and I chose too allow him to come over. *Smooch be good or Ill put you back on ignor. I'm in no mood to have shyt shoved in my face. I am dealing the best way I know how.. I asked for answers not attacks to what I am doing... Understand?? WTF are you talking about? No attacks here... just a question. Geezus Christ. When you say *destructive mode* what does that mean?
grateful Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 The way I talked to him and treated him Saturday night would have made any man leave.. Why the hell did he stay for the abuse... I was not nice to him.... Is this what he has wanted me to do is flip out and abuse him??? Do some men like this in a woman? Is he turned on by my abuseivness towards him?? WTF.... I am thinking about it all and I can't help but think this man is a glutton for punishment from me. The more I reject him the more he holds on... WTH... I don't think anyone can answer these questions except Charlie. However, I think you don't need to be thinking about these questions but instead "Do I want him in my life?" "Is this kind of relationship healthy for me, does it help me grow?"
blind_otter Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 What are you asking about, pada? You know this is unhealthy.
SmoochieFace Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 However, I think you don't need to be thinking about these questions but instead "Do I want him in my life?" "Is this kind of relationship healthy for me, does it help me grow?" My thoughts exactly. Is this guy really worth it? Is he bringing out the best in you? Are you genuinely happy with him? Honestly...
blind_otter Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 He refused to accept it. Just like the conversation I had with him about breaking up and the letter I wrote him about breaking up. He refused to accept it.. He won't take me serious... I told him he and I are going no where in the relationship. He is selfish and self centered. He isn't affectionate or attentitve to ME. I am not happy.... Also, if he didn't accept this on those prior occassions, why would he flip the switch and all of a sudden accept it now?
tinktronik Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Pada , your playing some kind of destructive game with yourself.
Author basscatcher Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 "Do I want him in my life?" "Is this kind of relationship healthy for me, does it help me grow?" I'm still in a little turmoil on him.. Here is what I do know about this:: He hasn't met my wants or needs. He doesn't seem to care that he don't.. He can't apoligize when he is wrong. He has very very poor communication skills. The hard part for me is letting go of the similiar interests. It is hard for me to meet a man who shares my interests. Who is city and country at the same time. I have pushed him away. Told him we are over and he smiles and behaves like its all BS...He took the paper I was reading from, crumpled it up and tossed it behind the couch and said "We need to get rid of this!" in a play tone. I couldn't believe it. I don't feel him as a threat to me in the aspect of being in danger. He is a gentle man. But his inability to accept I said I am not happy and we need to mutually end this he wont accept.
SmoochieFace Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Interests alone will not sustain a relationship. The other qualities play a bigger role.
Author basscatcher Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 Do I need to find a man and put him in his face to get him to back off? I don't want to be that mean... I don't want to use a man either...
SmoochieFace Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Do I need to find a man and put him in his face to get him to back off? I don't want to be that mean... I don't want to use a man either... Just quit seeing him and quit taking his calls, etc.... you don't have to do anything drastic here... unless he's stalking you. Then you get the cops involved. Nothing *mean* about that.
tinktronik Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Do I need to find a man and put him in his face to get him to back off? I don't want to be that mean... I don't want to use a man either... Pada are you trying to set yourself up as the victim here? You hav'nt been clear with him and continue to toy with him.Thell him GET OUT >>>DON'T CALL ME , Fuc* Off .But don't turn it into a situation where you get some other guy to feel like this guy won't leave you alone .Because you hae not told him clearly to leave you alone.Instead you are giving the opposite impression , Oh i don't want to see you, okay you can come over .
NTB Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 you don't need to use a man just stick to your decision if its over then its over, he does all of this because he knows he can he knows your limits, how he can push your buttons and appeal to you and as long as you allow him to come over, talk on the phone etc. then this will be a lasting situation
blind_otter Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 You never set any clear limits, so how can he follow the rules? You keep changing them.
Author basscatcher Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 You never set any clear limits, so how can he follow the rules? You keep changing them. Makes sense. There maybe something to this.. He is the first man that hasn't accepted or taken my word for what it is.. When I have ended previous relationships there usually isn't this kind of reaction of ignorance.
hotgurl Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Do I need to find a man and put him in his face to get him to back off? I don't want to be that mean... I don't want to use a man either... No you need to go total NC. Of course he doesn't take you seriously. You still go out together hang out one time you even had sex with him. He will keep pursueing you as long as you let him. Be firm NC all the way.
whichwayisup Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Makes sense. There maybe something to this.. He is the first man that hasn't accepted or taken my word for what it is.. When I have ended previous relationships there usually isn't this kind of reaction of ignorance. Then make him understand so he can accept things - So he see's that the relationship is over. Once you 100% decide that it is actuallly over, and STICK to it that choice, with full follow through, no more calls, seeing eachother, nothing...No contact mode - Then he will believe it's over and leave you alone. By allowing him to come over and be around you while you were in that bad mood wasn't enough to put him off. He thinks it's a game or something. The only way to stop it all is to really end it and mean it.
Art_Critic Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 He came over around 11pm. We cooked two steaks on my forman grille because we both needed to eat. I was rude right from the start. He smelled good though. I felt like punching him *abusive I know.. He told me to do it. I looked at him is disbelief. He was serious. i didn't at that time. I got a urge and I sucker punched him in the rib and got him good. (I warned him to be onguard.) he was ok with it. He did comment that I was in a nasty mood. (He has never seen me that way...) I pulled out my journal and I read it too him. This has got to be one of the most unhealthy things I have seen you do to date.. Pada.. you are switching roles here and becoming an abuser.. WTF ?? Sucker punching him.. nobody deserves to be physically punched or hurt What would you have felt if he hit you instead of you hitting him ?? Does that make it right.. Domestic Violence is DV no matter who is the abuser and you my dear need to end this relationship before it explodes into something that has ramifications that far exceed what you are ready for.. You are treading on VERY dangerous waters right now.. You need to break it off with him .. Now
Delectable Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 ((((((((((Pada))))))))))) <- me giving you the biggest hug
Touche Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 I agree with Art. This has deteriorated into a very unhealthy and disfunctional relationship. It's bringing out the worst in you. You're not even like the person I have come to know through your posts anymore. Anytime someone brings the worst out of you, it should be a BIG sign that they're not good for you. Good relationships bring out the BEST in ourselves.
Mz. Pixie Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Makes sense. There maybe something to this.. He is the first man that hasn't accepted or taken my word for what it is.. When I have ended previous relationships there usually isn't this kind of reaction of ignorance. Exactly. How can someone refuse to accept a breakup? Never had that happen to me- you just don't take his calls or go out with him. Inviting him over isn't exactly sending the "I don't want to be with you message" and you're smart enough to know this.
littlekitty Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 This has got to be one of the most unhealthy things I have seen you do to date.. Pada.. you are switching roles here and becoming an abuser.. WTF ?? Sucker punching him.. nobody deserves to be physically punched or hurt What would you have felt if he hit you instead of you hitting him ?? Does that make it right.. Domestic Violence is DV no matter who is the abuser and you my dear need to end this relationship before it explodes into something that has ramifications that far exceed what you are ready for.. You are treading on VERY dangerous waters right now.. You need to break it off with him .. Now I agree with Art. This is getting worse and worse. You don't even seem the same clear headed person you were before. This needs to end this completely/properly, before something horrible happens.
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