In Sync Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I'll offer you my opinion take it for what it's worth. Try not to get too defensive...read it slowly..agreed. You are clearly having anxiety attack over this. Your gf was a security issue. You are under stress and now that she has moved on your stress levels have risen. You'll do anything to get back to the security of having her with you. She is not makng you miserable You ARE making yourself miserable, that is the hardest thing for all of us to realize in trying to let go...they the bf/gf are not making us miserable we are doing it to ourselves, Because the more serious issues of dependency are underneathe the surface. Stop blaming her for all your actions...she is not responsible for your happiness. Until you work on yourself independently then you have a chance but if you keep trying to go to her for life support you'll end up more miserable and feeling emotionally depleted...why would she return to you in that state?
Author mr.gerbick Posted May 5, 2006 Author Posted May 5, 2006 InSync. I totally agree with you. There is no defense here. I have been dependant on her for a long time, we were together for six years and there was never any trust issues, so after awhile you just kind of get used to that person being there for you. I am a total introvert, I don't like to many people, too many places, the normal things that normal people like to do, like go out drinking on weekends..etc. So yes, I need to change a lot of things about myself and start becoming more self dependant and going out more. It is just really really hard after all these years of her support. I am just trying to find different ways to cope with that. I already told her that I don't blame her for what she did, I know it wasn't directed towards me, but I can't help but hurt about it...and sometimes it hurts so bad that I want to blame her, which I know is wrong. Another reason I think I am taking it so hard is because I never really had a big loss in my life before, never had someone close pass away and I was always kind of social before, if this happened with other girls, but I was also a teenager at the time so there wasn't much of "future plans" invested in it.
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