visotech Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Its been almost 4 weeks now...(wow.) And every time im at the computer I feel like I need to check her myspace, see whos leaving her comments, check all her friends that are guys and see what kind of comments shes leaving. I get this good feeling when she signs on aim/google-talk, I think to myself "she has nothing better to do, good"... Is this normal? Im I think im scared of her moving on too fast, I feel comfort when it appears that shes not doing anything new, but when I do see that shes not online or is leaving comments on some guys profile that I dont know, i feel like I've been kicked in the stomach.
shelters Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 I think you already know what you need to do. Stop checking her myspace page. Remove her from your buddy lists (not block her). This way you won't see her sign on when she does. Go read your own 'Swingers' thread. Good luck!
johan Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Resist all urges to find out anything (even the tiniest thing) about her. There isn't anything you can find out that will make things better. If she's moving on with someone else, that will pile drive you into the ground. If she's moping around at home, that will just encourage you to do something stupid. Whatever she's doing, it's far better that you just stay ignorant. That's bliss.
tikigods Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 remove her from myspace and take her off your buddylist, she will one day move on and how arey ou doing to feel reading about that? Better to keep it out of mind out of sight
Author visotech Posted May 1, 2006 Author Posted May 1, 2006 Sad part is im not even a myspace user...never have been...lol. We'll i guess theres a bigger problem, neither of us have decieded to do no contact, and more and more im thinking of commiting to it, but im scared. On the bright side, she went out of town, we haven't talked for nearly 4 days now - its not so bad. I've been able to keep fairly busy with school work so its been alright, but I can't imagine what I would do if I was bored out of my mind. But yeah, this post is just to confirm what I keep telling myself already - stop it!
whichwayisup Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 You're so used to talking to her/seeing her, that now not having her at all in your life is hard. That's understandable, but you really need to detach emotionally and get to a place where what she does with her time doesn't even phase you. Time will help, and most of all - So will no contact. The less you think about her, the less you'll want to know what she's up to. And if you're bored, GO out with your buddies! Visit family, go to the movies, do what you used to do before she came into your life. Keep busy and definately don't spend alot of time 'thinking' about her...When that happens do all that you can to STOP those thoughts. That serves you no purpose and will only make you miss her more.
etherealism Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Its been almost 4 weeks now...(wow.) And every time im at the computer I feel like I need to check her myspace, see whos leaving her comments, check all her friends that are guys and see what kind of comments shes leaving. I get this good feeling when she signs on aim/google-talk, I think to myself "she has nothing better to do, good"... yikes sounds like me. or sounds like me when my bf and i broke up. ok, i still check his myspace ... and its been 3 months lol but he checks up on me so its all good I've had that feeling of comfort before. I was online on myspace. and so was he. couldn't help but think to myself with a sigh of relief, "you're home on a friday night at 11pm on myspace? you don't have anything better to do?" ... and then it became, "why are WE home on a friday night at 11pm on myspace? WE would be doing this ... or that together ... if we were together" 3 wks after we broke up i started to hyperventilate, broke out in a crying fit, and had a nervous breakdown over some girl leaving him a comment on myspace. and in retrospect i know that comment was nothing, i misread it and jumped the gun. and when he took me off his top 8 i didn't even flinch. why? because he took all of his friends, me, his brother, and my friend and replaced it with beer and aqua-teen hunger force. i laughed when my friend complained she wasn't in his top 8 ... i didnt take it personally my advice is to boycott myspace. tom's a douche anyway.
kscholze Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 You are looking for something that you do not want to find. I suggest you stop looking or you will get hurt BAD.
magda Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Maybe you should ban yourself from myspace for awhile so you have to stop looking. It's prob too hard if you're already there to not check on her so just stay away alogether. Change the email/pssword, whatever it takes, until you have moved on.
No Concept Posted May 3, 2006 Posted May 3, 2006 I was also reading my Ex's myspace to find out any sliver of information on what she was up to. But after doing for a week I looked at myself was disgusted with the person I've become. When my Ex would sign on I'd be happy to see her online and not out with anyone. But of course she could be talking to the person she's dating now. So I had to cut myself off. I deleted her yahoo so I wouldn't somehow find an excuse to talk to her. I haven't moved her off of my "Top 8" on myspace but I eventually will so I don't have a constant reminder that she was my top "1". Cut the things off at the root when it comes to reminding you of that person. You're only causing yourself to keep pining for them instead of healing.
Author visotech Posted May 6, 2006 Author Posted May 6, 2006 So the other day we were hanging out (as friends now) and she was talking about myspace. I pretended to not know much about her myspace, even though i pretty much knew every inch of it by memory. I felt kinda disgusting... she showed me who she had on there, who the comments were from, and what her quotes and songs she picked were all about....but funny I already knew all that and pretended as if this was the first time I had seen it in months. This made me learn that we are broken up, and in fact she has her own life. But it also confirmed that she is moving on at the same pace as myself, and that shes been doing the same things as me to get past the relationship (music, movies, friends..)...so it felt better, and now I don't feel like i need to keep tabs on her so much.
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