Guest Posted April 30, 2006 Posted April 30, 2006 I've been married for 21 years. I am 40 years old. My husband is a recovering alcoholic for one year. He cheated many years ago which I suppose is one reason in addition to low self-esteem that I have cheated also. Only cheated with one man sporadically over a 17 year period until his death 3 years ago. I lost 150 lbs. and have had many chances with other men since losing the weight, but didn't give in to my temptations until I became smitten with a 33 year old single man who I met at a new job 2 years ago. We've been together many times in the past 2 years and are very close; however, he tells me not to leave my husband for him. He can make no promises. In fact, he is now seeing the widow of one of his old friends who died a year ago. I am so jealous of their relationship, even though he continues to see me. We are both about to change jobs and I am afraid the affair will end once we no longer work together. He wants me to take the new job to help me cope with no longer working with him. I find myself wanting to leave my husband and have no idea about taking the new job. I want to be able to offer my lover more than office romance or no romance once we change jobs. I only want to take the new job because I feel it is what my lover wants. I'm so confused.
Mistaken Identity Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Wow. Rather than comment, I have a few questions. Did you keep your seventeen-year affair a secret? If so, how? Why didn't you divorce your husband?
dgiirl Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Your lover is telling you he's only in it for the sex. He doesnt want to be committed to you, he doesnt want to have a relationship with you, but he'll f*** you. Gee, nice way to boost your self confidence. Sorry but it doesnt take much to find A guy to f*** you. Instead of looking to others to boost your self confidence, why dont you work on your own issues. Pay attention to your internal dialogue and listen to all the mean awful things you say to yourself. Figure out why you're saying them and replace them with positive things. I think before you start making any major changes in your life, get some therapy! They're objective and will help you figure out why you're doing what you're doing and give you alternative solutions.
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