Guest Posted April 30, 2006 Posted April 30, 2006 Where to start? I have been married for almost 8 years, with 2 children. My husband is very much a loner who openly admits he's not affectionate. We have not spent any alone time with each other (away from the kids, even for dinner) for 3 months. Let me back up a little. Last year I took our kids and left him because I could not handle his lack of interest in me and affection. I told him I would come back if he straightened himself out and realized what his priorities were in life, and that I should be close to the top. During that time, I met a man who lived long distance. We started as friends, and talked for hours on end. We met in person about 5 times for 4-5 days at a time during my separation. Nothing became serious because I still had feelings for my husband, even though I was the one who left. After 3 months of being separated, I was told by a mutual friend that my husband had had 2 affairs, one during our marriage together, and the other after I left. The one during our marriage lasted 2 months. I was furious because during our separation, I tried and tried to get through to him, and he was cold, mean, and detached. After learning of this, I confronted my h with it. He admitted it to me, and begged me to come back, he would do what it took to keep our marriage together. That lasted a couple of months, and ever since, he has been the same man I left last year; a few spurts of what I need, and the rest of the time, detached and uncaring. He loves our kids, and treats them well. But, with us, he's perfectly happy with going to work, coming home, eating dinner, watching some tv, then going to bed. He doesn't hold me, hug me, ask me to lay with him on the couch (normal behavior), ever. He says it's not his thing. So, the point is, during this time, I have kept contact with the man I met last year. He is very much in love with me, and I have feelings for him. He's the opposite of my husband. I am so confused. Sometimes I feel like I am holding myself back by not leaving to be with him. But, I can't let my h go. What on earth is wrong with me? I am scared to make any move whatsoever.
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