movinon05 Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 I occasionally look at the infidelity section, but not often. What is the difference there and when an OW/OM posts, how badly are they beaten down? I think I read Sami say once that she stays out of that section for the way she was treated. Or could be someone else, but that's who pops into mind.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 Hi movinon, I first posted my story there and I was heavily criticised. Most people there are betrayed spouses who just wanted to slam at the OW. Most did not post anything useful, IMO.
Author movinon05 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Posted April 29, 2006 Hi movinon, I first posted my story there and I was heavily criticised. Most people there are betrayed spouses who just wanted to slam at the OW. Most did not post anything useful, IMO. Thanks for the heads up. Although they seem to have no problem coming down here and doing some bashing from time to time. But I do take it in stride anyway.
lovernotafighter Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 I do go to that forum from time to time...it does help me put the whole ball of wax into perspective because it is mostly BS's and I hear the other side to my story. But I don't generally post their because I don't believe I am welcome.
Jessie61 Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 I occasionally look at the infidelity section, but not often. What is the difference there and when an OW/OM posts, how badly are they beaten down? I think I read Sami say once that she stays out of that section for the way she was treated. Or could be someone else, but that's who pops into mind. Movinon, I venture over to "the other side" regularly. My impression is that the OW/OM section might be slightly more forgiving. But, admittedly, I have no examples to back up my impression! I am also not sure that I have identified myself as OW when I have posted.... Must check that! However, I was saddened to see that one W, who had forgiven her cheating husband and stayed in the marriage, felt that she was getting no support or understanding from other posters. I can't remember which section she was posting on. In fact, she said that she would no longer post anything, which is a loss to everyone else on LS.
Author movinon05 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Posted April 29, 2006 Movinon, However, I was saddened to see that one W, who had forgiven her cheating husband and stayed in the marriage, felt that she was getting no support or understanding from other posters. I can't remember which section she was posting on. In fact, she said that she would no longer post anything, which is a loss to everyone else on LS. That is really sad. For her though. She needs support just as everyone else does. Its probably because of the major anger the BS is going through.
Jessie61 Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 That is really sad. For her though. She needs support just as everyone else does. Its probably because of the major anger the BS is going through. Yes, I agree! She was looking for support and she was being treated as if she was a complete fool for forgiving her H. I am sure that she had her own very valid reasons, so how could I turn around and say that what she did was wrong or stupid??? Anyway, I hope she returns if and when she is ready.
StrivingtoSucceed Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 I'm a bS and have surfed both the OW/OM and Infidelity forums. Like SilkTricks, I have forgiven my H and we are making our marriage better than it was before - together. I posted a thread awhile back and was questioned why I posted on OW/OM rather than infidelity. There were several reasons why I choose to do that, but the main ones were: 1) Most repeat posters, and those who have posted on my threads, post in both Forums 2) The OW/OM Forum I feel is more .... supportive of whichever way the OP decides to go. In the Infidelity Forum, while there are the supportive posters, you also get posts that are very one-sided. 3) I had a few posters in that Forum mention (not in the exact words) that basically I was stupid if I believed my husband, the more supportive posts were few. While in OW/OM Forum I've had great support from everyone. Yes, I understand that when you post on the Internet, you are going to have a wide variety of responses and some you have to take with a grain of salt. I guess I just feel that on the Infidelity Forum most posters are either the actual WS, or a BS that is very hurt and angry (understandably) and usually not able to provide support for others b/c they are looking to understand what is going on with them. On the OW/OM Forum, everyone is pretty much supportive of each other and open-minded enough to support a BS in making sure she stays on target in her goal to keep her marriage strong. And, making sure that when she (I) start thinking too much, make me realize exactly what I do have.
Blind Illusion Posted April 30, 2006 Posted April 30, 2006 I post in both places also. It says in the Infidelity section it is for people that are affected by infidelity in their marriages. Well, I am even though I am the one that did it. I don't think its just people that post there that are a little bit too blinded to the gray areas of life. I see a few Loveshackers across all threads that see life as being black or white. That's their perogative, of course, but I usually just avoid replying to such posts because that is not how I am. About affairs, marriages or anything else. I probably would feel more comfortable discussing personal things about my affair here though.
Jessie61 Posted April 30, 2006 Posted April 30, 2006 I don't think its just people that post there that are a little bit too blinded to the gray areas of life. I see a few Loveshackers across all threads that see life as being black or white. That's their perogative, of course, but I usually just avoid replying to such posts because that is not how I am. About affairs, marriages or anything else. Yes, I agree. I have gone back to the Infidelity section and read a few threads and formed the opinion that there is an element of a "black or white" brigade there. Sometimes I wonder if the replies are pre-written before the question has even been read??!!?
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