vampress1 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Hello out there![/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I was curious what people thought about their ex boyfriends/girlfriends maintaining a relationship with your Mom (or dad, sister, brother. grandma etc)? [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Of course I don't want to limit where this thread goes, but I’m mostly curious about the relationships between ex girlfriends and Moms of the man they dated.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Is it appropriate? What happens when either party start dating seriously again? How does the new boy/girlfriend feel? [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I look forward to hearing what y’all have to say…[/sIZE][/FONT]
basscatcher Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Hello out there! I was curious what people thought about their ex boyfriends/girlfriends maintaining a relationship with your mom.dad, sister, brother. grandma etc)? Of course I don't want to limit where this thread goes, but I’m mostly curious about the relationships between ex girlfriends and Moms of the man they dated Is it appropriate? What happens when either party start dating seriously again? How does the new boy/girlfriend feel? I look forward to hearing what y’all have to say… cleaned it up ughhh
Author vampress1 Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 jeez sorry about that! So much for making sure I was spelling everything correctly!! ha ha! I'm new... i'm stickin' to that as my exuse!!
basscatcher Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I don't know. I will say this: I can still speak with my XMIL and XFIL normally. We have even exchanged xmas gifts over the years. They weren't happy when I left their son and filed divorce but they seemed to sort-of understand. They are very laid back people and simple. My gf is still very very close with her XMIL and XFIL.. She talks to them every day on the phone. She is here in MN and they are in TN. She calls them mom and dad. They consider her one of their daughters even though she isn't married to their son anymore. I think it has a lot to do with how close you get with your inlaws or bf/gf family. If you bonded geuinely and closely I think it is more common to remain connected.. The ability to forgive the break up is also important. Understanding and not judging. NO one is perfect and sometimes things don't work out in relaitonships; that doesn't mean the people are bad..
Author vampress1 Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 Padameckla, are there children involved with either your prior marriage or your friends? I think, in that case, it's good for the children to know that grandma/pa and Mom still get along. Otherwise they may feel as though they have to choose...
basscatcher Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Padameckla, are there children involved with either your prior marriage or your friends? I think, in that case, it's good for the children to know that grandma/pa and Mom still get along. Otherwise they may feel as though they have to choose... for me I share a child as for my gf she has 6 children, been married 6 times, was a exotic dancer for 10 years and has no biological children with her X but he did take responsiblity for her two youngest..
Author vampress1 Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 I guess since I made the original post, I should answer my own question. My in-laws are awesome! My MIL went through old photo albums and piles of pictures to make sure there were no pictures of my hubby's ex girlfriends. At first I thought "oh my god, she thinks i'm crazy and has preemptively gotten rid of the evidence that there was a life before me!" Then, the more I thought about it... what a nice thing to do. She didn't want me to feel insecure or weird. (She's a sweet little southern bell that calls me things like "shuga"... i love her!) I wouldn't maintain a friendship with the Mom of any men I've dated out of respect for their new loves. Not to say that if I ran into an "ex-mom" on the street I would turn and run. But I certainly wouldn't call her for advise or invite her to join me for dinner or drinks.
silentcharon Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Hmm. From my experiences, it does have a lot to do with how close you were with the ex's parents. I am very close to my ex's mom, even after we broke up and remained friends the first time, I still talked to her. After we got back together, nothing changed between us. And still, nothing has changed seven years later, after the break up again. We haven't gotten to the point where there's another girlfriend in his life yet, so I'm just taking it a day at a time. He had a couple of girlfriends when we broke up the first time, it was really weird at the very least, but I took it well enough that it didn't come between me and the ex's mom. Like I said, it really depends on how close you were with the mom, and the circumstances surrounding the break up.
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