mending_heart Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 A little background information on my relationship: I've known this girl for 6 years (since highschool). We always had this on and off thing with liking each other but obstacles came in the way. There was always a part of me that knew we'd be great together but I couldnt do anything since she had a boyfriend at the time. I made an attempt to make a surprise visit at our high school prom to have one memorable dance with her before she left (she was going to the states for schooling -- yes, we're originally canadians). That was a memorable day for both of us, to say the least. Anyways, as the years went on I kept in touch with her via email, although they were few and far between. Occassionaly, we would see each other (maybe once or twice a year) whenever she come back to visit her family in Canada. Whenever I did see her, my old feelings for her would come rushing back. It wasnt until this year that we met again, and celebrated new years eve with each other at a night club. Originally, I thought I would just hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek when the clock stuck 12...but we ended kissing passionately on the dance floor. Within a few days after new years, I asked her out which she replied excitedly, "of course I'll be your girlfriend!". After a few days of being a couple, she had to leave back to the states for school. We talked everyday on the phone during our long distance relationship. It got a little rocky when she left to the states. I had discovered that she had been in a relationship with someone during her time at the states and it didnt appear as if she was entirely over him (she didnt want to seem to talk about her ex). I tried to dismiss that idea and believed she would eventually forget about him. To make the relationship better, I visited her during the week of valentines. That was the best week of my life. Because of that trip, we both fell in love with each other. When I came back to Canada everything seemed to be going really well. She seemed to be really in love with me and said things like, "I love you, more than you'll ever know" or "my past boyfriends dont even compare to you". I took what she said to heart, and truly believe what we had would be a serious relationship. Then in the end of march, everything turned for the worst...almost instantly. The calls started to lessen and it seemed like my gf had completely changed. She called me one day to tell me that she didnt deserve me because she still thinks about her ex, constantly. I asked her if she wanted to break up but she said she didnt want to make any final decisions that she would regret. So as the days passed on I couldnt wait any longer. I called her to confront her about the seriousness of this relationship and she told me that she wouldnt be the same person anymore if this thing between us continued. She said that she wasnt ready for a relationship. She ended up breaking up with me that day. Within 3 days of breaking up I get a call from her, asking if everything was alright. I tried to act happy and that I was getting on in my life, and she seemed to be happy for me. Within that week I was getting calls every other day from her. It wasnt until one day that she told me the reason she was calling was that she missed hearing my voice, she also asked me "when I broke up with you, why did you just let me go like that?" I told her that I didnt fight for her to stay with me because it was wrong to fight for something that wasnt mine: her love for me. I also told her that these calls were giving me false hope and that she needed to really figure out what she wants before she calls me again. The next day, during my lunch time, I get a call from her again. She didnt say much, and I asked if everything was ok, which she replied "yes", and then the conversation ended from there. I havent received a call from her since. Its been about 3 weeks. That day she broke up with me it hurt like hell. But I havent let it change the way I live life. I still go out with friends, go to the gym, and go to work. I love her so much that I let her go, and I try not to dwell on if I did anything wrong. I would by lying if I say she isnt on my mind most of the time but I persevere. I guess what hurts the most is how someone could say that they love you so much and say the sweetest things to you, only to have that change in one day. Thats what I dont understand. Maybe shes just confused. Has anyone ever been in such a situation where their significant other broke up with them because they werent 'ready for a relationship'? If so, did time make them realize they made a mistake in leaving you? I know no contact is the best thing to do. It makes the healing process easier. Thanks for anyone who actually took the time to read my long story. Replies or comments would be appreaciated, thanks!
PlentyLV007 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Wow.... you sound a lot like what I did when I broke up with my ex about 2 years ago. I broke up with him to let him be happy and mostly for myself. I didn't to it to make him realize to what he had because honestly, he realized that we shouldn't have been toghether. When he said that....it hurt like hell...to know that MY first love confirmed with me...that we shouldn't have ever been toghether. OUCH Well, maybe he was right for himself. What I know is that I let him go because we wanted different things. I loved him, didn't trust him, was insecure of him and well I wanted to be with him always. With all these things said it made me realize that well, why would he want to be with me...??? When in the end after 5 years I still didn't really believe in him and if you don't believe in the person you love then why should they be with you...? I do believe in the whole..."if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you it's yours and if it doesn't come back to you then they never were yours". Now...the only advice I can give you is ....NC....and do things to help yourself! Good luck!
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