Guest Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 have a guy friend, lets call him tim. Me and Time have been friends now since we met last september. We grew very close over a very short space of time. We went out together, watched dvd's together, had tea together the odd night through the week. Then We went out on New Years. I had begun to have feelings for him more than just a friendship and had thought something would have happened that night. It didn't :-( We had words between each other as he has a habit of disappearing off when we are out together to chase after some girl with a cowboy hat (has a bit of a fixation on hats once he gets a few drinks!!) and I would be left all on my own. It ended up we didn't speak for a few mths, totally cut contact. Then I decided I wanted to patch things up so I rang him. We had a lonnnnngggg chat, and had figured out that we had really just been having a relationship with each other (an emotional one, not physical as we have never even kissed), and we had gotten so caught up in spending time together we sort of forgot to try and make other friends. Anywho.. we have decided now to get a flat together, so we are moving in next weekend. Seperate rooms ofcourse! Things are back to the way they were. We are doing everything together more or less. We attempt to include each other in everything. We sat up until 2am the other night, texting each other, talking about life in general and how we felt about things, he said to me about how he really values my friendship and how he knows he sometimes underestimates it and that he never seems to let anyone get too close to him and thats why he was single. (thats to give you an idea of the line of convo). The first night that we met up together after not speaking for a few mths, we hit a few clubs. Everything seemed to go back to the way it was before straight away. There was no awkward silences, and we were back to the drunken hugs (he's the most louvable drunk you will ever meet!). We are both really looking forward moving into the flat. It will be great. I do have feelings towards him, but to be honest I am not really sure of the extent of them. I would nver want to ruin our friendship but he does know that I had feelings for him before (this was just a recently I confided in him). He hasn't put the moves on me (he would be quite shy sexually), but he hasn't run a mile either. I'm just not sure if there's something there on his part or not or if it is just all one sided. Is it really possible for a bloke to have a girl as a friend and never feel anything sexual towards her? He has invited me out with his friends from work tonight, said they are all dying to meet this girl he is moving in with. Made me sort of pleased that his friends know of me! He is the guy that I can ring at any time of the night or day and he will be there for me. He will listen to me cry, hug me if I'm sad, and laugh at me wehn I am drunk. I have a boyfriend and he isn't half the man my friend is. Need advice! Sorry it's a bit long winded...
kypepeo Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Things can get a bit tricky between 'friends' of the opposite sex. I personally don't belive that a dud and a gal can be just friends. It's not always because they are a good match but more because when such friendships get good and comfortable, that question always comes up. Yes, you might ruin your friendship because of this but then agin, if you two are strong enough, then if it doesn't work out, you could revert to an even stronger, chemistry free friendship. I have a really good friend who at some point became my boyfriend. It didn't work out but now he's one of my best freinds. We survived the trial relationship and i'm glad we got all that feeling stuff out of the way. It's trick though, the story could flip on you. If you think you can handle it not working out,then go for it. Life is all about taking risks.
Guest Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 But what if I bring the topic up and I get totally knocked back?? I don't know if I could handle the rejection... is there any way to acually know if he feels anything for me in that without actually asking him?
babsie007 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 But then how can I be sure I won't get rejected if I bring the topic up?? How can I be sure if he feels the same way without actually bringing the topic up directly???
saltedfish Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I mean i have never ever met a guy, who would be so shy that if he would be "dating" a girl then by now he would have kissed you allready, and to imagine someone wanting to live in the next room from a girl that he has feelings, and girl is making herself available. sorry, but it just sounds wierd for me, are you sure he is not gay?? anyways, you will have nothing to loose, by asking him! of coure things might be little odd afterwards, but it will be back to normal in no time. just kiss him ( sober )
babsie007 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 i can't just kiss him!! And he's deffo not gay. but.... the first night we had went out clubbing (just after we patched things up), when we were leaving each other to go home, I gave him a big kiss on the cheek, well quite a few... and he gave me a big hug and said he had really missed me and how he had a better time with me than he does with any of his friends. It's just that i was a hug and not a kiss I also mentioned the fact that there's songs that remind me of him.. he admitted that he has songs that remind him of me. He even remembers the song that was on in the background one night when i rang him at 2am, after a night out with my friends. I had started screaming down the phone how much i loved that song, and he remembers all of that! But maybe I am reading too much into things (I am female after all!!) Although I should say, he is looking a girlfriend. But when he is my company, he does go after other girls infront of me which isn't the best sign I suppose. He is so forward with other people, but when it comes down to actual proper feelings, he has hidden depths. We just gel unbeleivably well together. My flatmate at the minute keeps us going about how we are going to end up married, because of the way we are with each other and the way we bicker and get on. He had made a comment on new years before we had went out (i was in the flat getting ready) about how we have so much in common. We are into the same music etc... Maybe I am reading too much into things
gemmab2020 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 mmmmm.... I would wonder about the fact that he blatenly goes after other girls when he is with you. I don't know, maybe I am wrong but I don't think that's a good sign. It's really hard to say as i don't know the whole story. Do you not have an incling yourself as to the way you think he feels about you? You not getting any vibes off him?
babsie007 Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 hiya soy, Just sign in, pick a forum and then hit 'post reply' when you find a topic (thread) you want to reply to. Then your post should appear at the end of the thread!! Anyway, me and my guy friend have moved in together now. Things are going good. Totally mad about him I am. I am starting to get mad jealous when I see him talk to the cute woman who lives below us (she is gorgeous, but 9 years older than him). I am doubting aswell if there is maybe more to her than she is letting on... I mean she seems nice enough, but theres just something about her that I don't trust, and I don't want my friend to get involved with her either. I am still in my relationship. Would this put a guy off?? If I was no longer in my current relationship would it be easier for me to find out if there is a chance with my room-mate? It has been great, eating together, drinking together, watching him walk around the flat with a towel round his waist when he gets out of the shower... walking around in his boxer shorts... my eyes can only take so much and they are about to explode!
feelingsforbf Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 wow you sound just like me. My best friend and I are the same. We crossed the line right before he left for boot camp. Check out my thread. I wish I had words of advice but Im just as confused as you. Although my guy friend and I did cross the line all the way. I can tell you this from experience the drunk hugs and you kissing him on the cheek, are showing true feelings. Lean in and kiss him next time, I guarntee he will kiss you back and then you can see where things go. My guy friend kissed me and all I gotta say is WOW!! Im sure you will be saying the same. Good luck!
Recommended Posts