Noos Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 How do you handle the people who ask you why you are single? Do you just dismiss it and say "I just haven't found the right person yet"? What happens when that is not enough to thwart this line of conversation? If they keep probing I feel defensive and awkward, like I have to explain myself or justify taking up space and oxygen on the planet. What are some good responses to this whole thing about being single and the pitying looks you get - usually from loved up women or couples? [An aside: True story - my friend was at end of financial year party last year and an engaged 22-year-old who didn't know her said to her: "So...you're 33, you have no boyfriend and your not married...have you thought about freezing your eggs in case you want children?"]
littlekitty Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 It's the Bridget Jones 'Smug Married' issue isn't it?!! Tell them to f*** off and mind thier own business...!!!
jerbear Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 In 10 years, the 22 year old may have the same issue... Justifying ones existence to being married at whatever age is just not worth it.
lindya Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 How do you handle the people who ask you why you are single? Do you just dismiss it and say "I just haven't found the right person yet"? What happens when that is not enough to thwart this line of conversation? If people persistently follow a line of conversation, then they've got theories about you and they want some evidence to back it up. Instead of letting people put me on the spot about this issue, I ask them to venture their theories as to why I'm single. Here are a few I've heard. 1. "Perhaps you're a latent lesbian who hasn't acknowledged her sexuality yet". (Married man tries to needle single woman into "proving" her heterosexuality). 2. "You're fated to be single" Not much scope for analysis there, but may have validity for anyone who believes in such a thing as a pre-destined path we all follow. 3. "You're too lazy and self-absorbed for any man to want you as a wife". 4. "You spend too much time on the computer writing nonsensical stories and posting crap to anonymous strangers, and not enough time having interactions with real live people."
jerbear Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 4. "You spend too much time on the computer writing nonsensical stories and posting crap to anonymous strangers, and not enough time having interactions with real live people." Is that a reason why I'm single? :lmao:
a4a Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Tell them you are waiting for the arrival of the mothership to deliver a mate for you. Be sure to look to the heavens with a sensual and loving look on your face.
lindya Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Is that a reason why I'm single? :lmao: Well I don't know, do I? I'm too busy thinking about myself, dreaming up crap to write and watching out for the arrival of the husband/lover/brief fling bearing mothership to bother myself with musings as to why you're single!
a4a Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Well I don't know, do I? I'm too busy thinking about myself, dreaming up crap to write and watching out for the arrival of the husband/lover/brief fling bearing mothership to bother myself with musings as to why you're single! Well don't get too self absorbed and forget to freeze your eggs/pods!
Yamaha Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 "Because I'd rather be single than divorced" (which is where most of them will be one day).
lindya Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Well don't get too self absorbed and forget to freeze your eggs/pods! Mummy! What would I do without you?
prfrogkisser Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I have to agree with a lot of postings. People are just plain noisy and they want to know what you have to say for yourself. I have it a lot worse my family keeps asking and telling me i can only have kids until im 45 when am i going to start?.. argh!!! MY ANSWER>>> I appreciate your concern but I am Happy. I dont want to have a child because my clock is ticking or because i reached a time limit age. I want a child to be in a happy enviroment. Belive me when i am ready you will know and it will last forever:D *****But then again my mom asked me a couple of years ago if i was lesbian and i answered... MOM!!! i dont lick vinyl or munch carpets:lmao: She never asks anything anymore:lmao:
catgirl1927 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 People say stuff like that because some people are just rude. You know, I've never had a happily married person nag me about getting married. I've never had someone who truly enjoyed being a parent tell me I'd better hurry up. Unhappy people are negative, and lots of the time they lash out at other people. Next time someone says that, maybe answer with, "You know, I know a really good therapist. You could get some help to make yourself a happier and more positive person. Then you won't feel like you need to insult other people. Here's her number, go suck an egg. After you call."
prfrogkisser Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 People say stuff like that because some people are just rude. You know, I've never had a happily married person nag me about getting married. I've never had someone who truly enjoyed being a parent tell me I'd better hurry up. Unhappy people are negative, and lots of the time they lash out at other people. Next time someone says that, maybe answer with, "You know, I know a really good therapist. You could get some help to make yourself a happier and more positive person. Then you won't feel like you need to insult other people. Here's her number, go suck an egg. After you call." :lmao::lmao: Can this be considered a double meaning insult:D It's Friday and the coffee
westernxer Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I used to get nagged about it all the time. For some folks being single is a stigma... they hated it and can't (or won't) understand why people like myself don't hurry up and marry someone. It's not my fault that they have tunnel vision, and I do my best to steer clear of those people. It's even worse if you have friends looking to settle down... it's all they talk about.
alphamale Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I used to get nagged about it all the time. For some folks being single is a stigma... they hated it and can't (or won't) understand why people like myself don't hurry up and marry someone.. many married people are miserable WEST...they want you to join them. Misery loves company
kitten chick Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I kinda agree with Westernxer. I don't get it much from my peers because here it's actually rare that people get married before 30. I do get it a lot from old folks though. I came up with a whole bunch of rediculous answers but I haven't been asked in a while so I can't remember them. I think my response now would be, "Have you met me?".
kitten chick Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 *****But then again my mom asked me a couple of years ago if i was lesbian and i answered... MOM!!! i dont lick vinyl or munch carpets:lmao: She never asks anything anymore:lmao: Believe it or not I really don't talk about my love life IRL so people always wonder all sorts of things about me. My mom asked me the same thing. So I thought it would be a good idea to start telling her about my sex life. She doesn't bother me about being a lesbian anymore
prfrogkisser Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Believe it or not I really don't talk about my love life IRL so people always wonder all sorts of things about me. My mom asked me the same thing. So I thought it would be a good idea to start telling her about my sex life. She doesn't bother me about being a lesbian anymore I love my mom but im not too comfortable telling her about my sex life.Especially after i found a Fredericks of Hollywood kinky bra in her drawer:lmao: I guess it also has to do with growing up in catholic/ sex/ taboo hush hush enviroment.Because of this i grew up thinking sex was bad. Thank Goodness I outgrew that.
kitten chick Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I love my mom but im not too comfortable telling her about my sex life.Especially after i found a Fredericks of Hollywood kinky bra in her drawer:lmao: I guess it also has to do with growing up in catholic/ sex/ taboo hush hush enviroment.Because of this i grew up thinking sex was bad. Thank Goodness I outgrew that. I wasn't comfortable telling her about it either but she was even less comfortable hearing about it so it was totally worth it. My sister was dying laughing when I told her what I had told my mom. My parents met when they were teens and are still completely in love, I grew up with them groping at each other all the time My mom can't comprehend having any kind of sexual interaction with more than one person.
luvtoto Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I get my feelings hurt when my friends try set me up on dates. They must think that I would go out with just about anybody. Uh....nope. THEN to top it off...if the guy they pick for me is not my type...they say things like "you are just too picky. No wonder you are single." ((()))
prfrogkisser Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I wasn't comfortable telling her about it either but she was even less comfortable hearing about it so it was totally worth it. My sister was dying laughing when I told her what I had told my mom. My parents met when they were teens and are still completely in love, I grew up with them groping at each other all the time My mom can't comprehend having any kind of sexual interaction with more than one person. Well im glad im not the only one with the dilema. Maybe ill try to shock her again for mothers day:D Hopefully I will get a few ideas from the threads:)
prfrogkisser Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I get my feelings hurt when my friends try set me up on dates. They must think that I would go out with just about anybody. Uh....nope. THEN to top it off...if the guy they pick for me is not my type...they say things like "you are just too picky. No wonder you are single." ((())) When this happens to me my friends say I'm high maintenance and the irony is most are golddiggers .. Go Figure Im so glad i dont date women .. those bitches!!!
jerbear Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I get my feelings hurt when my friends try set me up on dates. They must think that I would go out with just about anybody. Uh....nope. THEN to top it off...if the guy they pick for me is not my type...they say things like "you are just too picky. No wonder you are single." ((())) I'm sure your friends have good intentions. Heck one gave me a dating service certificate. Met some interesting people but none I would pursue a romantic relationship with. They were trying to help me out in a different way as in trying to make me move on. Did get upset but I've known them for so many years.
alphamale Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 How do you handle the people who ask you why you are single? I tell them I was married for 3 yrs and it did not work out. And since I really don't want kids anymore I really don't need to get married. Plus, I tell them I like being single and selfish and f***ing different women
SmoochieFace Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I don't understand why people would care if someone else is single - unless they are *hitting* on the person. Aside from that... they should just mind their own business and concentrate on living THEIR lives instead of living through others and what they have or don't have.
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