In Sync Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I realized that I too started to distort the past by claiming in an earlier post that the guy I was involved with went from hot to cold like a light switch...but then if the truth be told..I have to correct that. I think he was always like this in his behavior but I chose to ignore one of many "red flags." Those disturbances in my gut a.k.a my intuition was cluing me in that the relationship was most likely not going to be the happy ending I so desperately wanted. Let's see... *The cruel sarcastic manner in which he was berated others but claimed to be only joking. *Deemed anybody who was emotional as a psycho or whack-job *Exploded in anger if I had a different viewpoint. *Would drop out of sight for days and resented any questioning about it. These little patterns were evident in his behavior after the charming phase of our relationship. They appeared sporactically so I ignored and denied that something was wrong. Boy was I wrong.. Think about it what were your red flags?..did your relationship really end out of the blue or had you just been in a denial phase up to that point?
jerbear Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 For me, she started acting strange, kept things from me. Changed the subject on certain things. When I asked her, she would just be distant and change the subject.
basscatcher Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I think everything in every relationship has been a 'red-flag'. I'm 37 and and single. :lmao:
Rosalind Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Gosh, I had no idea what a red flag even was...then I bought a book on the subject. Yep, they were all there
MadDog Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Only a couple weeks into the relationship, a single misunderstood sentence ruined the whole night; she was way too upset considering how petty the conflict was. It was a huge red flag indicating just how emotionally unstable she was. From now on, I think I will automatically dump any girl who lets a whole night be ruined over a single misunderstanding or point of contention. Life's too short to be spending a whole night feeling badly.
Outcast Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 One got far too angry over trivial things. NEVER again will I deal with one of that sort. Another was dishonest. My gut always knew when he lied - why do people think they actually are getting away with it? He tried to be friends but I won't put up with liars.
Big_A Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Even though we had been dating for three years we were always flirty with eachother. That stopped. She stopped asking me how my day was when we were on the phone. After exams, she didn't ask me how I had done. She stopped any kind of physical intimacy, no cuddling, no kssing, nothing.
Author In Sync Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 my rational for overlooking those things that were troublesome in the relationship was the sheer hope that all the ugly would go away. since I didn't confront it and kept denying that something was not right, I naively thought he'll be kinder and go back to how he was when we first met....never happened.
serial muse Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 With my recent ex, I guess a red flag that I noted but explained away was that he still exhibited anger and resentment with exes and ex-friends from years before. He hadn't dealt with that, but more troubling was that he didn't seem to acknowledge their points of view, and saw only how he thought they had wronged him. Yeah. Argh. With my exH (different ex), one big red flag was that he had cheated on most of his exes before me. Urgh. Yeah. I'm a maroon. Let this be a lesson to me and anyone else who cares to absorb it: those red flags are exactly the ones that will come back to haunt you. Ignore them at your peril.
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