Gemini1975 Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I have been talking to people here about a situation I had gotten my self into with another man. Brief scoop - Im married to my soul mate for 3 years, who I love very much - our sex life is good - our everyday life is good - on a scale of 1 to 10 our relationship is a 9 :-) Yet I have a crush on a life long friend of mine. I have had a crush on him for a couple years - never acted on it until a couple of weeks ago - we talked about the crush and ended up kissing. A week after that we kissed again. We both then decided that it was wrong what we were doing and said that we would not continue the affair - or let it go any farther. I have never cheated before nor do I EVER intend to cheat again. I am going to seek some councelling to try to figure out why I strayed from the man I love in the first place. So here is the question do I tell my husband or not?
2sunny Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 If you think you can make it right and good with hubby - then I don't believe in hurting his feelings over a kiss - as long as you don't intend to hurt him further. If he would be further hurt - then you need to give him a choice as to whether or not you would be good to him down the road, or someone else might be a better choice. In the meantime, try to control your emotions, as you ARE a married gal... be fair to hubby!
Owl Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I would say that you need to decide a few things right now, so that you can make the right choice on telling him or not. Do you know...FOR SURE AND WITHOUT A DOUBT...that you'll never, ever, EVER cross this line with this guy again? You've had feelings for him for a while, and now have acted on them. It's nearly impossible to go back to a 'friendship' once you've crossed that line. If you really and truly KNOW that it won't EVER, and I mean EVER happen again, then don't tell him, and be aware of this weakness you've had to ensure that you never cross this line again. If you don't know with 100% confidence that you'll not do this again...tell him. Be open and honest about what happened, tell him how much you regret it and ask his help in ensuring that you keep from making this same kind of mistake again.
movinon05 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 I have been talking to people here about a situation I had gotten my self into with another man. Brief scoop - Im married to my soul mate for 3 years, who I love very much - our sex life is good - our everyday life is good - on a scale of 1 to 10 our relationship is a 9 :-) Yet I have a crush on a life long friend of mine. I have had a crush on him for a couple years - never acted on it until a couple of weeks ago - we talked about the crush and ended up kissing. A week after that we kissed again. We both then decided that it was wrong what we were doing and said that we would not continue the affair - or let it go any farther. I have never cheated before nor do I EVER intend to cheat again. I am going to seek some councelling to try to figure out why I strayed from the man I love in the first place. So here is the question do I tell my husband or not? Gemini. You just recently posted what has transpired lately. You said you had a long talk with your friend and you both realized you didn't want to hurt everyone all around. You also said that your H broke down and cried when you said something while you were drunk. Was that not enough for you to realize the hurt he is feeling just by you mentioning you had a crush on someone? Is it necessary to hurt him further? At least you can chalk it up to being drunk when you said it. Why cause him more pain? You said you love him and you want to start a family. I'm glad you are going to counseling, but I see no reason why you need to further his pain. As you go through counseling and gain some insight, you will know further down the road if this is something that you cannot control. If and when it gets to that point, then maybe you should discuss it with him. But talk to the counselor first.
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