almostthere Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I have been happily enjoying being single for almost 4 years now. However, me and my boyfriend, even though there was a rocky start, are doing wonderful right now. We are moving in together in June. Now, since i have made the decision that I love this man for everything that he is strange things have been happeneing. And I think they are happening to test me. Not by him but by fate maybe. The very biggest love of my life sends me a offline message saying I really miss you and I am sorry. After not talking for two years. Then not 3 weeks later the second biggest love of my life sends me an offline saying he was in jail since the day after we last saw each other. That was two years ago. he just got out Thursday and emailed on Friday. He was arrested for beating up his brothers drug dealer. long story...but he really is a good guy he just sticks up for his brother too much and gets in trouble for it. I would have done anything for these two men. anything. at that time any way. the one that was in jail meant everything to me. but i never knew he was in jail and there wasnt any way to contact me. also a long story of why he couldnt. Id almost give anything to see him again. but who i am with now really does mean the world to me and i dont regret being with him and i dont feel he is holding me back from these two guys. If i have to give up my bf now just for a what if or a small chance ive lost everything. So i feel like just when you fall in love. Totally amazingly in love you are tested to see how deep this love runs. In any other relationship i would have left the guy i was seeing for just one night out with the one who was in jail. but not this relationship. Id be throwing away everything.
basscatcher Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 but not this relationship. Id be throwing away everything. Smart gal.. Also a tad bit of info for you to think about. Those other guys that have been in jail. They will have a difficult time getting ahead in life now that they've been locked up unless they are in some kind of construction work or the like. I had a Xbf that was locked up. When we went to get an apartment together we were denied because of his past. I watched him struggle finding a job because of his past. His record really holds him back and that was almost 20 years ago. It didn't matter that I have good credit and no legal history. You are better with the new bf. Especially if you feel in love with him unlike no other. Keep your head on straight and look at the facts so you don't allow yourself to play with temptation and make a stupid mistake. It might be reasonable for you to tell these two men that you are happily involved with someone and you don't want their interferrence. If you don't put the line down it will be crossed and your emotions could be played on.
Author almostthere Posted April 27, 2006 Author Posted April 27, 2006 Thanks for the reply. I am a mom of two and not to sound that I base things on money but I am trying to get ahead. Even though the one that had been in jail was there for a good reason (Id guess you say) he has that in his past. and if hes going to beat this person up once then is he going to do it again? Not that it even matters. My bf and I inseperable. We became the best of friends and then started dating. i feel very lucky with him in my life. the one that was in jail and I had a conversation today over IM. I did tell him that I am in a relationship with someone who i care for greatly. i could never hurt my bf in any way possible. Besides, and lets be honest here, how do I really know that this man sat there and thought about me while he was gone? After 2 years in jail maybe he just wants to get laid fast? I dont know. I dont think that that is it but you just never know.
MadDog Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 This is the most confusing story I've read in a while. Let me see if I have this correct: 1. The biggest love of your life is a guy that sent you a message after 2 years. 2. The #2 biggest love of your life went to jail for 2 years for beating up some guy and just got out(I think there's more to the story than that--you don't go to jail for that long just for getting in a fight). 3. Your current boyfriend would rank #3 at best but he also means the world to you. Just what exactly is your ranking system based on?
aleatoryd Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 Just what exactly is your ranking system based on? Time spent!
glittergurl Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Actually, the same happened to me. Right when I finally started to get settled with my husband (who was then my fiance), my two past boyfriends got back in touch with me. One of the two knew I was in a new relationship. I don't think it had much to do with fate; people just realize what they've lost once they see they can't have it anymore. I was nice and polite, but made it pretty clear: No Thank You. Now I think of it; it kind of makes me mad that they were actually trying to get closer to me, and even hoping to break my new relationship. But I set clear limits, and moved on happily. A girl has to know her priorities. Past crushes can be tempting, but they're so not worth a second look.
Author almostthere Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 I'm sorry for te confusion...I guess i should have said biggest crushes. Wrong wording. people throw love around too easily. I guess i do too. I was in love with the first one. however, the second one, was a questionable relationship at best. My bf now is the biggest love of my life. these others were crushes that at the time i thought i loved.
gemmab2020 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Pleople change a lot over the space of 2 years... they probably aren't the same people today that you were involved with back then. Best forget about them and carry on with your life
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