princessjulieanne Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I have been dating a man for the past five months and for the most part things seem to be going very well. I feel I am not a clingy person and certainly understand the need for each of us to have our own interests. Because of our work schedules and that we live about 30 minutes about we can usually only get together one to two nights a week but talk each night about 9:00 or so. The problem is I am feeling very unimportant to him that should any plans be needed to be changed or cancelled it is our plans. He has avery a very close Italian famliy who live 3 hours away so anytime a family emergency or function happens he is gone for the weekend. I have not met them yet and still a bit shy about this as its a big deal. My heart says he cares for me but my brain says family, work, friends, now golf come before me. The family I can accept as I have lost both my parents and understand how important it is to be with them, work I can understand as well because it would be difficult to be with someone who isnt ambitious (not a money princess btw, just that someone is willing to earn a living). The big issue is that in the 5 months I have managed to get a total of 5 weekends off (planned) and each and every time something comes up at the last minute usually family. Well this past weekend we were going to be together Friday night and by a fluke I was off on Saturday night so I was very excited to tell him on our Thursday evening call. He says I should have told him sooner, my answer was I thought since planning never worked a surprise might. He had made arrangements to go to his friends house Saturday 3 hours away to play golf and spend the night. I know he is not or would never cheat on me and he is all that I have been looking for as he is mature, honest, not a big drinker or partier. Should I just get out of it now and accept that I am not important or should I stick with it, accept that he is a family man whose vice is golf and be grateful that he has all these other good qualities.
kitten chick Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 Have you talked to him about the lack of time you're spending together? If you have and he hasn't been receptive to it then you have to realize that your priorities are different. I would think that if you weren't getting your needs met and there were no signs that it would happen in the future then you'd want to leave the relationship.
Pyro Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I have been dating a man for the past five months and for the most part things seem to be going very well. I feel I am not a clingy person and certainly understand the need for each of us to have our own interests. Because of our work schedules and that we live about 30 minutes about we can usually only get together one to two nights a week but talk each night about 9:00 or so. The problem is I am feeling very unimportant to him that should any plans be needed to be changed or cancelled it is our plans. He has avery a very close Italian famliy who live 3 hours away so anytime a family emergency or function happens he is gone for the weekend. I have not met them yet and still a bit shy about this as its a big deal. My heart says he cares for me but my brain says family, work, friends, now golf come before me. The family I can accept as I have lost both my parents and understand how important it is to be with them, work I can understand as well because it would be difficult to be with someone who isnt ambitious (not a money princess btw, just that someone is willing to earn a living). The big issue is that in the 5 months I have managed to get a total of 5 weekends off (planned) and each and every time something comes up at the last minute usually family. Well this past weekend we were going to be together Friday night and by a fluke I was off on Saturday night so I was very excited to tell him on our Thursday evening call. He says I should have told him sooner, my answer was I thought since planning never worked a surprise might. He had made arrangements to go to his friends house Saturday 3 hours away to play golf and spend the night. I know he is not or would never cheat on me and he is all that I have been looking for as he is mature, honest, not a big drinker or partier. Should I just get out of it now and accept that I am not important or should I stick with it, accept that he is a family man whose vice is golf and be grateful that he has all these other good qualities. I have a friend like him. He is big on golf as well as other things and he always put his now ex on the bottom of the priority list. Well, she couldn't take it anymore and broke it off. My friend still doesn't think that he had anything to do with it. He still claims that she is the one that was selfish for breaking it off. If having more time together is an issue for you, then you need to talk to him. He's not going to change anything unless you communicate.
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