Bcriptic Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 Well rather than beat around the bush... I think my wife of 8 years (Been together for 15) is being unfaithful... Here's my story... We went on Vacation to Sunny Ft. Myers from April 6th - 18th... It was GREAT!!! I was annoyed a bit by my wife text messeging a guy back here who she claims she is just friends with... Hmmm... We return and she gets terminated from her job the day she returns... Said it was for errors and an innapropriate email to the guy who was mentioned above... Something sound fishy to me... My first day back at work my boss says he may have to let me go because we have no money... (He steals it all) Sales are identical to last year but we have spent $5000 more this year to date then last year... ($3800 Cruise for him and his wife was in there... So back to the fishy stuff on my wife... At one point on vacation I wanted to look at a pic she took with her cell phone in FL and she grabbed it back and delete 4 pics off of it before I could look... Hmmm... This really tossed a red flag up for me... So now I have been really nosey since we got back... (Naturally) Since we have returned home I have found naughty pics of her on her phone she has sent to someone... She set up an internet email account in addition to her regular email and she has been chatting with this guy... Looked at it at lunch today while she was at a Dr. Appointment and it says in there "We have done it in a hotel, my car, my hot tub and my house just not in my bed..." No specifics just says "Done It"... So I think she is cheating on me... I won't confront her until I have undenyable proof but it is tearing me apart now... What to do Next is the question... Who ever reads this... Thanks for listening... There is no one around here i can talk too... I am always the shoulder to cry on and the person to listen... But when I have issues it always up to me to figure it out
JadeStar Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I'm sorry this is happening, and it does sound like something is going on. Heres a few things you might could do, and in no particular order. *Call her out on it see what she has to say. Ask her about the emails and the pictures. She will probably deny it all. *Lay low with things and see what else develops before calling her out on things. *Follow her and see exactly whats going on. *Hire a PI to see whats going on, if you have the money for it. *Call her out on it, tell her upfront you think you both should seek marriage counseling becasue you feel something is going on in the marraige. Let her know you're willing to work on things(if you really are) and that you hope she is too. Maybe others will have some more advice for you. Hang in there! Jade
littlekitty Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 You could try using KeyLoggers on the PC. Print out and keep copies of all the correspondance between them. Gather your evidence, and when you have enough that you are ready, confront her.
Author Bcriptic Posted April 27, 2006 Author Posted April 27, 2006 Never used a key logger before... How much do they run??? Any specific one that works best??? I plan on getting undenyable evidence before I do confront her... Just a matter of time and I will catch her... I love her to death but she is a BAD liar... and when she makes up stories it is easy to tell that it's not all truthful... She tried to make love to me last night and I just pretended I was tired and sore... (had my first 2 softball games on tuesday night so it was a legit excuse...) Hoping this kinda spurs her to make a move...
Ladyjane14 Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 Never used a key logger before... How much do they run??? Any specific one that works best??? You can get info on keyloggers using your search engine. You might also call your phone company and get detail records on your cell phone accounts. You can usually view these on line. And when you set your account up, you'll set a password to view it. Cheaters talk ALOT. Get your bank statements too.
Author Bcriptic Posted April 27, 2006 Author Posted April 27, 2006 I do have access to all the phone and bank records... she had called him a few times... I think right now their preferred contact option is text messeging... In the process of trying to get info on him now... Address/Girl Friends name (They live together)
Bryanp Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 So she has done it in the hot tub and your home. She sounds like a real class act. I would be worried about STD's. It pretty clear she is having an affair. It is also clear that she has very little respect for you. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. I wish you luck.
Author Bcriptic Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 That is what it sounds like to me... But time will tell... She will get caught...
ONegative Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 keylogger/monitorer: http://www.spectorsoft.com/products/SpectorPro_Windows/index.html Worth every penny.
parentdetective Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 Hello I think that you need to have proof that she is cheating...
Seen_It_All Posted April 30, 2006 Posted April 30, 2006 BCrpiptic, you remind me of my best friend. Her husband has continually cheated on her and disrespected her for YEARS, and she's a bundle of nerves. The evidence she's found - over and over again - has been pretty damning - YET she stills holds out for that "smoking gun." Unless she catches him naked and in the act, she simply doesn't want to face the HUGE pink elephant sitting in her living room eating popcorn and watching reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard. Rule #1: Those who have NOTHING to hide, hide NOTHING. All this woman DOES is hide things from you, and delete things before you can see them, like her naughty cell phone pictures and her little text messages to Mr. Wonderful. Rule #2: If someone claims to have 'done it' in the hot tub, the car, a hotel and your own HOME (but not the bed..how noble of her) do you honestly think the 'it' she's referring to is playing a game of checkers or Parchisi? Honestly? This is the same crap that was constantly being found by my girlfriend and she STILL held out for the smoking gun. In truth, it was simply a way for her to deny reality and give her something to desperately cling to rather than have to face the devastating truth of her husband's infidelity. I feel horribly bad because I see you doing the same exact thing as she's been doing. Finding ways to deny the glaring evidence you've seen, read, and KNOW. What's going to be YOUR smoking gun, BCriptic? Do you need to find her in your bed naked with this creep before you finally admit to yourself what's going on? I'm not trying to be harsh, please know that. I'm just trying to keep it REAL. You're even trying to deny the real meaning of the words "done it" in her text message to him about where they've "done it." I know denial is a safe, warm place to be. It protects you from devastation and it keeps chaos from entering into your safe and secure life. I KNOW that. But it's a very dangerous place to be because it means you're not looking out for yourself. Instead of being proactive and being able to take control of this situation, you're instead hiding in the shadows and allowing it to unfold in front of you, like a speeding trainwreck you can't help but watch with horrified fascination. This is your life and your marriage. It's time to take control before it's too late, ok?
Author Bcriptic Posted May 2, 2006 Author Posted May 2, 2006 Seen it all... I am certainly now denying it... I know it is happening... It's not so much of catching them in the act (How ever that would be the perfect senario) Before I end My marriage I need to get my affairs in order... Currently we are a 2 income house hold... I need the 2nd income for pay the bills... One I file or confront her and toss her out I will be down to one and prety much ose everything I have... Once I have established a way to take care of My Financial Needs The whistle will be blown... Unless of course she gets caught with her hand i n the cookie Jar... I do understand all of your points and they are all valid... But first off I need to get my affairs in order... (No pun intended)...
THX2000 Posted May 2, 2006 Posted May 2, 2006 Seen it all... I am certainly now denying it... I know it is happening... It's not so much of catching them in the act (How ever that would be the perfect senario) Before I end My marriage I need to get my affairs in order... Currently we are a 2 income house hold... I need the 2nd income for pay the bills... One I file or confront her and toss her out I will be down to one and prety much ose everything I have... Once I have established a way to take care of My Financial Needs The whistle will be blown... Unless of course she gets caught with her hand i n the cookie Jar... I do understand all of your points and they are all valid... But first off I need to get my affairs in order... (No pun intended)... I would most definitely seperate your income from hers if she has access to it right now. If this woman would cheat on you who knows what else she may be doing. I know when my ex started cheating she also started stealing money from my room, charging things on accounts of mine at different stores without permission and the list goes on. I would take steps to ensure that if she is in fact cheating that she doesn't also financially ruin you as well. Make sure you get the evidence BEFORE you confront her. I wish I could do it all over again if I had the chance and would have done things A LOT differently. The best would be to get the evidence you need (irrefutable evidence), wait until she is away for a day or two and pack all her s*** up and kick her ass out as soon as she gets home. I would also make sure you get the evidence out in the open for everyone to see so they know who is in the wrong here. In my case my ex had been telling people in the city she was at school in that I was physically and emotionally abusive and the lies just escalated after I found her out in an attempt to ruin my reputation and save hers. Take care of you bud. Keep your head up.
Author Bcriptic Posted May 10, 2006 Author Posted May 10, 2006 Today is our 9th anniversary... I did what I do every year... She woke up to 3 roses on her night stand this morning... Then when she went down to have coffee there was and arrangement of 9 roses and misc carnations and filler... and of course a nice card... I purchased a key logger and got it installed... Captures screen shots too... Emails me once and hour... Works good... Except I only get one side of the conversation unles the screen shot captures it... was able to find out that she is trying to meet him quite often... but he has been busy... I actually think she is going to try and meet him TODAY!!! If she does this and I catch her all hell will break loose tonight... NO NO NO!!! I will not get physically abusive... I DO NOT believe in that... However... What I say may hurt... But the truth hurts... Cheat on me on my anniversary??? I don't think so... I actually have a friend that is on call today to hunt her down and get me my PROOF if she goes for her little bootie call today... Will update in a few days... LTR...
Guest Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 C'mon Bcriptic, what did you find out? Is everything ok?
just found out Posted May 20, 2006 Posted May 20, 2006 Hello, This is just found out. I just recently found out my husband is cheating.
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