She say's "I need a break"

[russia53129]

So she dropped the bomb on me about 2 weeks ago. Up until then, things were going alright, we were starting to have little fights here and there, but not anything big....i thought... She's finishing up her junior year in college and I'm already one year outta school, working and living 80 miles away. Despite this, I come visit her every weekend and see her once or twice on the weekdays.

My fault is that recently she's been getting really busy with school and it's been really trying on her nerves. At the same time, instead of sitting there watching her work, I thought it would be best if I let her do her thing and go hang out with friends until she calls and we can go get some dinner or hang out.

So I come back on this particular Friday to see her and surprise her and I get a very cold response and she say's she'd rather "work alone". So I leave and off to my friends. 5 hours later, I call and she's out with a bunch of guy friends drinking margaritas. Later that night, she says she wants a break. And that I'm not there for her enough, I don't show her that I love her, and she's been flirting with other guys and is enjoying it. She also says theres things she wants to do that she can't when I'm around. Date other guys and join a convent....

So I gave her her space and saw her the next week. After asking her what's up, she say's it's over and she's feeling happier now then she has in a long while. She feels like a weight has been lifted off of her chest. When I asked her if she would give it a second thought, she says "no, stop asking" "we can't get back together right now". And at that, she started to get mean with me (mind you she is NEVER this mean, completely out of character) and starts to say "I don't want to be with someone who is mediocre" and "I'm tired of making friends with your friends, I want to make my own friends". Despite this, I kept questioning things and she said "Other people have noticed I'm happy so I know it's not just me" So I reply, "well, even though that hurts, It makes me happy just to see that you are. That's all I really want is for you to be happy."

And then I started to get pumped and in a good mood because now "we're both happy". What's weird is that she begins to hold back tears.

I don't get it. Why is she crying when she says she's happy? And why was she being so mean with me when I don't think I did anything wrong. Is there a chance we will get back together given some time? What are your reactions?

[prfrogkisser]

So she dropped the bomb on me about 2 weeks ago. Up until then, things were going alright, we were starting to have little fights here and there, but not anything big....i thought... She's finishing up her junior year in college and I'm already one year outta school, working and living 80 miles away. Despite this, I come visit her every weekend and see her once or twice on the weekdays.

My fault is that recently she's been getting really busy with school and it's been really trying on her nerves. At the same time, instead of sitting there watching her work, I thought it would be best if I let her do her thing and go hang out with friends until she calls and we can go get some dinner or hang out.

So I come back on this particular Friday to see her and surprise her and I get a very cold response and she say's she'd rather "work alone". So I leave and off to my friends. 5 hours later, I call and she's out with a bunch of guy friends drinking margaritas. Later that night, she says she wants a break. And that I'm not there for her enough, I don't show her that I love her, and she's been flirting with other guys and is enjoying it. She also says theres things she wants to do that she can't when I'm around. Date other guys and join a convent....

So I gave her her space and saw her the next week. After asking her what's up, she say's it's over and she's feeling happier now then she has in a long while. She feels like a weight has been lifted off of her chest. When I asked her if she would give it a second thought, she says "no, stop asking" "we can't get back together right now". And at that, she started to get mean with me (mind you she is NEVER this mean, completely out of character) and starts to say "I don't want to be with someone who is mediocre" and "I'm tired of making friends with your friends, I want to make my own friends". Despite this, I kept questioning things and she said "Other people have noticed I'm happy so I know it's not just me" So I reply, "well, even though that hurts, It makes me happy just to see that you are. That's all I really want is for you to be happy."

And then I started to get pumped and in a good mood because now "we're both happy". What's weird is that she begins to hold back tears.

I don't get it. Why is she crying when she says she's happy? And why was she being so mean with me when I don't think I did anything wrong. Is there a chance we will get back together given some time? What are your reactions?

Lets see if i can help you out.

Being stressed with school and a long distance relationship is more than enough reason for a woman to become moody and mean. She is frustrated and confused on what to do.She seems to want to pull away from the relationship but then again she is close to tears. Ask her to tell you whats wrong? Be honest, communicate. She might just be trying to get your attention by acting like there is nothing wrong and having fun. Women are typical in giving mix messages.She seems angry at you when you dont get what she is really tring to express.See highlighted responses from her. When they say they are fine sometimes it means i want you to care for me a little bit more

If you really want this to work ask her what she wants from you and the relationship. Dont foget to always tell her how you feel about her and how much you miss her.

 

Good Luck!!

[oss91]

I'm in a similar situation. I'm about the graduate from college and go who knows where with a job, and she's still in school nearly 2 hours away. The long distance thing is hard enough b/c it's difficult to maintain a close, loving relationship when you don't see each other on a regular basis. Also tough when in college b/c well, it's college. People change so much in the first years of collge, but by their senior year they are, for the most part, confident in who they are and what they want and are generally ready to move on. The whole "I need space" phrase was used b/c she probably really likes you and y'alls relationship, but she just doesn't know how it can keep working.

 

So just let her go. Don't be angry b/c she's decided to hang out with others or date others. Don't be mean to her. If your relationship is that strong, then at its core, it is built around friendship, and everything else happens after that. Take a step back from her and assess the situation. Who knows what you'll find out.

 

Not giving you any hope, but I personally know many people who dated, broke up for a year, two years, three years, and then got back together once they were both more mature. They always say it's the best thing they ever did. It'll take time, and she probably won't change her mind in a couple of months.