Guest Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I was broken up with about a month back, and am not dealing with it well, to say the least. As is usually the case, my life is quite intertwined with the X's, a problem which is exacerbated by the fact that the X was one of the first people I met upon moving to this town about two years back, and as an established member of the community had plenty of friends for me to take on as my own, with little need for me to make my own enclave of friends separate from those people. Things are slowly getting better, I've gotten into therapy, and just had what was an empowering conversation with the X in which I felt I was able to really say goodbye on my own terms. The problem is that after two years, the X has told me that although I was in love, the feeling was never mutual. I am not having too hard of a time dealing with the end of the relationship, but rather am feeling a bit down on myself that I was not "loveable." I have had this happen once before in a relationship that lasted about 9 months, which happened to be my only other serious adult relationship, and so it is doing real damage to my self esteem to have the words "I don't love you, but I wanted to" repeated to me yet again. Now that you have my story, I need your advice: The point of all this rambling is that I am about to head into exams in a very difficult school, and I need some quick fixes that do not involve drinking or otherwise going out and having fun, since that needs to be at the bottom of my list of priorities as I try to salvage my semester and, possibly, my career, if I do too poorly on these tests. I cannot focus. I dwell. I cry. I feel sorry for myself because no matter how much I want to, I can't hate my X because honestly, there are likely not as many talented, good looking, nice people out there as this, I really beleive it. And breaking up after realizing you are not in love with someone you have been with for a long time seems, as much as I hate to admit it, the responsible thing to do, even if not the easy thing. I would appreciate any ideas that anyone might have about how to help pull myself through the next few weeks. The good news is that I will be moving to a new city for the summer, in an awesome job and apartment, and so I know that I will be fine once exams are over. However, I really could use any advice anyone can give for how to not throw away my school prospects because of this crappy ending to what feels like a waste of a couple of years, and a lot of love.
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