grateful Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 . Sure, she can put herself in his place but even so, how does that change the fact that she feels sexually unstimulated? It really doesn't. It almost makes it appear that she should hide her lack of sexual pleasure since she would feel bad if the husband told her that. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the point. but she has told him about the lack of sexual pleasure. and look what he did: he asked me before why i don't like to kiss with him anymore, i told him frankly the feeling is lost, the chemistry is dead. i can't kiss you like the way as in the beginning. he accepted it with grace. many times he detected i wasn't aroused at all, he offered to do anything i like, but i absolutely have no interest of him touching me. i tried to give it a try before, when he touched my intimate parts i HATED it!! i want to die! i have to ask him to stop trying to arouse me, but i'll let him finish the business and make him happy, because i know my wifely duty, and i defintely would not agree if someone says i am plain selfish and know nothing about commitment. she is just trying to justify an affair. it would make more sense to leave her husband if she hates it when he touches her intimate parts.
Author miho Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 hi guys! i came back and read all your posts, thank you very much for your time, sharing, and trying to hellp advices and opinion! i think right from the beginning, i am not trying to justify that i have enough reasons to start an affair, rather i was telling my story why i have the craving. and yes, i agree it is my selfishness to want to satisfy my own unfulfilled needs, my craving for passion, the feeling of excitement. all this is wrong, just like taking drug. some of you have been through this wholething, have hurt youself and others. i am not trying to be sarcastic, but i just thought that before all that happened, i am sure at that point of time you knew it was wrong and you did it anyway. what i meant is, this is human weakness and it almost require superhuman will power not to fall, isn't it? it is even more difficult for attractive people. if a person is fat and ugly, i guess it is not much chance for him/her to start an affair anyway, so that person is actually free from this problem. really, i ever thought of getting myself pregnant, have a baby and then ugly. when i have little self confidence i would just focus on my child and have a so called blissful marriage life. but who knows, maybe my husband would start an affair then, i would like to mention that i would never divorce my husband, because we get along perfectly except for this sex issue. some of you advice me to tell my husband frankly about our sex problem. in my own opinion, i don't find it wise , i think it would affect my relationship with him. is like a sure formula to lead to a divorce, is a known fact that guys take it very hard if they know they can't satisfy the woman. in every other ways i find my husband a very good husband, so i will cope with this only dissactisfaction. and i will try the solutions mentioned by you guys, if they still don't work so be it. i won't lie here, i may still fall i don't know at this point of time. i met up with the guy for a talk. nothing happened, we just talked, we do not know we would meet again. the attraction is mutual and strong, so hopefully our willpower to pull back is much stronger.
Sal Paradise Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 this is human weakness and it almost require superhuman will power not to fall, isn't it? I've never cheated. I have a high sex drive. Had plenty of oppurtunities. There is nothing superhuman about me. Thinking that it will take superhuman strength is a way to absolve yourself from your actions. You're basically excusing yourself before you even do it. Why not just divorce your husband now and save him the pain you will eventually cause him? If not than I suggest changing your attitude. it is even more difficult for attractive people. Oh come on that is ridiculous. And an extremely shallow statement. I'm a reasonably attractive guy and believe me it isn't that hard. The ability to resist cheating has nothing to do with your physical appearance. Its completely mental and emotional. If you're a strong person with integrity you won't do it. If you have character flaws and allow yourself to do it, you will. You have control over what you do. No one cheats when they don't want to. Its really as simple as that. Once again it sounds like you're trying to give yourself an excuse for your future mistake. Why not just say "hey is it ok for me to cheat since I can't resist" and stop beating around the bush. if a person is fat and ugly, i guess it is not much chance for him/her to start an affair anyway, so that person is actually free from this problem. Are you 15? Seriously, you sound really immature. What kind of reasoning is that? I know plenty of over weight people who have cheated and had no problems finding willing partners. Hell just watch any of these horrible talk shows that come on in the afternoon or an episode of Cheaters. Seriously that is one of the most unintelligent, shallow statements I've ever read on this site (and I've read quite a few). Its no wonder you're having problems remaining faithful to your husband when you have the maturity of a spoiled adolescent. "Yeah its so hard remaining faithful when you're thin and pretty. Those fat, ugly people have it so easy" I feel so sorry for you. I mean it, you're really making a great sacrifice for your husband. I mean the nerve of him to expect his gorgeous wife not to cheat on him! How dare he!! i ever thought of getting myself pregnant, have a baby and then ugly. when i have little self confidence i would just focus on my child and have a so called blissful marriage life. So you're going to bring a baby into this world because you're too beautiful to keep your legs closed? I retract my earlier statement, this is the most unintelligent, shallow statement I've ever read on this site. Don't ruin a childs life and your husbands life because you're too immature and selfish to handle being in an adult relationship (or just being an adult for that matter). but who knows, maybe my husband would start an affair then, Oh I'm sure you'd love that. Then he'd remove what little bit of guilt you might have for doing it and give you free reign to do what you want. Great basis for a relationship, secretly hoping your husband will cheat so you can. i would like to mention that i would never divorce my husband Nah that would mean putting someone else first. You'd rather have your cake and eat it too. Well with any luck maybe he will divorce you and find a real woman. some of you advice me to tell my husband frankly about our sex problem. in my own opinion, i don't find it wise , i think it would affect my relationship with him. is like a sure formula to lead to a divorce, is a known fact that guys take it very hard if they know they can't satisfy the woman. in every other ways i find my husband a very good husband, so i will cope with this only dissactisfaction. and i will try the solutions mentioned by you guys, if they still don't work so be it. Translation: I'm too much of a coward and too selfish to take responsibility for my part in the relationship and try to fix it. So instead of communicating to my husband (god forbid a wife had to do that, the horror!) I will continue down this path of destruction which will enable me to cheat. Since that is really what I want to do anyways. i won't lie here, i may still fall i don't know at this point of time. We both know you will fall. Is just a matter of time.... i met up with the guy for a talk. nothing happened, we just talked, we do not know we would meet again. the attraction is mutual and strong, so hopefully our willpower to pull back is much stronger. Boy that didn't take long. Sounds like you're already emotionally cheating to me. And you're basically feeling this guy out. Under what pretense do you not consider this cheating? If you were really worried about your willpower being strong enough not to cheat with this guy you wouldn't be meeting with him in the first place. You're not even trying not to cheat. You're trying to excuse it. You're trying to paint it as an inevitable event that is beyond your control. That you are at the mercy of your beauty and sex drive (what a joke that is). You don't want to accept any responsibility for it or the problems in your marriage. You're too immature, dishonest, selfish and irresponsible to be in an adult relationship. Do yourself and your husband a favor and just divorce him now. If any ounce of you loves or respects him on any level you will do this for him. You're a horrible wife (that goes without saying), don't ruin this mans life. Please give him a chance to find someone who actually loves and respects him. We only get one life. It would be a pity for him to waste his with you. I know this sounds harsh but what kind of response did you actually expect? Part of me wonders if this isn't a fake post. Its so ridiculous it makes you wonder.
Mz. Pixie Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 it is even more difficult for attractive people. if a person is fat and ugly, i guess it is not much chance for him/her to start an affair anyway, so that person is actually free from this problem. really, i ever thought of getting myself pregnant, have a baby and then ugly. when i have little self confidence i would just focus on my child and have a so called blissful marriage life. but who knows, maybe my husband would start an affair then, WHAT?? Are you freaking kidding me?? Do you think that only attractive people cheat?? That cheating has anything to do with looks?? It doesn't. There are plenty of women who post on here whose husbands have cheated and the OW is LESS attractive than they are! Husbands too! No matter how attractive you are or what weight you are there is an opportunity to cheat. You sound almost as if you think because you're attractive that means you have the right to do what you're thinking about. Also, do you think that all women get fat and unattractive when they have children?? I can assure you that's not true- because I have two children and I've never let myself go. I weigh 20lbs of what I weighed in high school over 20 years ago- and I keep myself up. Yes, there was a point where I knew having an affair was wrong and did it anyway- but I'm trying to get you to LEARN from my experience. I'm trying to help you avoid the pain that the affair would cause- and the pain to your husband. You say you've never considered divorce? Well you might want to rethink that. Considering that most people get caught if they cheat if you can't talk to him frankly about your sex life how do you think him finding out you actually screwed someone behind is back is going to be? I've got a huge news flash for you- all cheaters think they are too smart and too cool to get caught- but they usually do anyway.
whichwayisup Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 i won't lie here, i may still fall i don't know at this point of time. i met up with the guy for a talk. nothing happened, we just talked, we do not know we would meet again. the attraction is mutual and strong, so hopefully our willpower to pull back is much stronger The ONLY way to avoid having this affair is NOT to see this man at all. Don't spend ANY time alone with him. Walk away and focus that energy into your marriage. Right now you are FULLY aware of everything. I'm sorry your marriage sucks, but DO something to fix it or END it and get a divorce. DO NOT willingly cheat on your husband. This is the easy way out right now if you DO end up cheating. To be honest, I think your husband deserves another woman who will treat him better. Be prepared for ALL the consquences of your actions when you get caught. Right now you don't think it's possible, but remember!! This man is your husband and he KNOWS you...So if you think you can hide it and get away with it, live a lie - Live a double life - You're sadly mistaken...
PuppyDogEyes Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 it is even more difficult for attractive people. if a person is fat and ugly, i guess it is not much chance for him/her to start an affair anyway, so that person is actually free from this problem. That has got to be one of the most moronic statements I have ever read on this site, from anyone. Physical attraction has little to do with an affair - it's the way a person can make one feel that has everything to do with it. Don't believe me? Look at all of the Internet cheating that goes on. How do you even know that the person on the other side of the screen is who they say they are? It's their words that make you feel alive and excited, not necessarily their looks. Unbelievable. really, i ever thought of getting myself pregnant, have a baby and then ugly. Great reason to bring a child into this world, isn't it? It has nothing to do with love, or wanting to share love with your husband - the person that you said "I promise to love, honor and cherish him until death do us part" - oh, no! You're going to bring a child into this world to make yourself "ugly". Well, guess what, honey? You've succeeded already beyond your wildest dreams, so save yourself the trouble and spare that child from living a life with no love from their own parent. You're too immature, dishonest, selfish and irresponsible to be in an adult relationship. Do yourself and your husband a favor and just divorce him now. If any ounce of you loves or respects him on any level you will do this for him. You're a horrible wife (that goes without saying), don't ruin this mans life. Please give him a chance to find someone who actually loves and respects him. We only get one life. It would be a pity for him to waste his with you. Sal Paradise, I couldn't have said it better. I am in agreement with you six hundred percent. - pde.
MrDarcy Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I seriously think you should consider getting professional help. You obviously have a lot of issues. No affair will ever solve the problems you have. Stop this before somebody innocent gets hurt.
Author miho Posted May 6, 2006 Author Posted May 6, 2006 why are you people so worked up? i am not your wife, haha...! i have told my husband about it, as expected, he is so understanding. He has the wonderful IQ and EQ to accept the polygammous nature of human. He lets me go ahead to do what i want. you see the difference between my dear husband and the bunch of you barking here? You people are so narrow minded, self-righteous and simply have no ability to step to that higher level to look at things from another point of view. I have overestimated you, is my mistake. well, life is just so wonderful! i have a wonderful husband, with a new lover to have feel all the passions and heights again, to realise my dreams! sizzling, wet hot love waiting for me, couldn't be better. yeah, that feelings won't last, i know, but who cares? i just love to have them! so happy! if you wish my hubby would dump me, oh fat hope. he loves me so unconditionally, he will even die for me. never seen such love before right? well, with your narrow mindedness you would never meet such wonderful people anyway. oh, don't bother to reply me, i have absolutely no interest to listen to your barking anymore, is not constructive and waste of time. my neighbour has a big black dog which barks, is pretty irritating at times but definitely sound better than you, ho ho ho....!! :laugh: :bunny:
phyrespryte Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Is he allowed to have an affair also? Just curious. Because then you wouldn't really be having an affair. You guys would just be swingers then.
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 why are you people so worked up? i am not your wife, haha...! i have told my husband about it, as expected, he is so understanding. He has the wonderful IQ and EQ to accept the polygammous nature of human. He lets me go ahead to do what i want. you see the difference between my dear husband and the bunch of you barking here? You people are so narrow minded, self-righteous and simply have no ability to step to that higher level to look at things from another point of view. I have overestimated you, is my mistake. well, life is just so wonderful! i have a wonderful husband, with a new lover to have feel all the passions and heights again, to realise my dreams! sizzling, wet hot love waiting for me, couldn't be better. yeah, that feelings won't last, i know, but who cares? i just love to have them! so happy! if you wish my hubby would dump me, oh fat hope. he loves me so unconditionally, he will even die for me. never seen such love before right? well, with your narrow mindedness you would never meet such wonderful people anyway. oh, don't bother to reply me, i have absolutely no interest to listen to your barking anymore, is not constructive and waste of time. my neighbour has a big black dog which barks, is pretty irritating at times but definitely sound better than you, ho ho ho....!! :laugh: :bunny: Why did you even bother posting on LS if you had intention all along to do what you were going to do. You're not looking for help, you're looking for validation - Or so I thought...Now, you're just living it up, selfishly and taking advantage of your husband. Though, with that being said, if he truely is aware of all that you say you're doing and is OK with it - He's a FOOL for allowing this. Not only are you going against your vows, (why bother getting married or stay married????) you probably are going to bring home a STD. Hey, if you can sleep at night and look at yourself in the mirror and be okay with what you're doing and how you're living your life - Good for you! Just don't be surprised that one day your husband will wake up and realize what HE is missing out on, and dump you for a woman who will love him, respect him and not USE him. Happy humpin'.
AFriend Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Well, at least your husband now knows and he can choose what he wants to do. Him letting you means he'll learn the hard way =) Regardless of which path he picks it'll all be the same in the end. Unless you guys are swingers then cheers to you both. well, with your narrow mindedness you would never meet such wonderful people anyway. If being narrow minded keeps me away from people like you then it's all good. oh, don't bother to reply me, i have absolutely no interest to listen to your barking anymore, is not constructive and waste of time. my neighbour has a big black dog which barks, is pretty irritating at times but definitely sound better than you, ho ho ho....!! :laugh: :bunny: The only waste of time was the time wasted for the people who actually tried to help you by posting advice. But it's okay you already came here with the mindset to do what you wanted regardless of what others will say. I wish you good luck with your wonderful life and your wonderful husband with your wonderful new man. I wish my life was that wonderful ! Bye.
Alexandra Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 i have told my husband about it, as expected, he is so understanding. He has the wonderful IQ and EQ to accept the polygammous nature of human. He lets me go ahead to do what i want. you see the difference between my dear husband and the bunch of you barking here? You people are so narrow minded, self-righteous and simply have no ability to step to that higher level to look at things from another point of view. I have overestimated you, is my mistake. well, life is just so wonderful! i have a wonderful husband, with a new lover to have feel all the passions and heights again, to realise my dreams! sizzling, wet hot love waiting for me, couldn't be better. yeah, that feelings won't last, i know, but who cares? i just love to have them! so happy! The only thing I need to say is that I hope everyone realizes that's BS. From the first to the last word. Imaginative created out of being made defensive by our reactions BS, maybe but still just that, a story. A woman who didn't have the guts to tell her own husband sex is not that good for her anymore suddenly got the courage to tell him that AND ask for permission to have an affair? I think not. She posted just yesterday in the exact same state but meanwhile she told him, got together with the OM and is already giddy and happy? Again, I think not. A guy married to this allegedly beautiful woman whom he believes he makes happy hears she's desperately unhappy and wants to cheat and then drives her to the date? No. I think not. What the above means is "Hey people, I'm gonna stick to my guns and do it regardless. I had some doubts coming in but the points you raise don't resonate with me, I have no consciousness hence I won't feel guilty or ashamed and I don't even love this guy so why bother with how he'd feel? Screw you very much, I'm off to have my fun." I had another response in mind by page 2, it involved a lengthy explanation of emotional reasons as well as sex therapy hints, recommandations and how the OP really has very little sexual education as well as practice and it's no wonder she lost interest, but upon reading this last gem there was no point anymore.
Curmudgeon Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I wonder is she also has a favorite pillow, pet snake, thong underwear and sunbathes in the nude. This is as phoney as the day is long. Are the schools out for some vacation or another?
tinktronik Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I wonder is she also has a favorite pillow, pet snake, thong underwear and sunbathes in the nude. This is as phoney as the day is long. Are the schools out for some vacation or another? Do you really think? I had thought the same thing, but after rereading the complete thread , she just seems like a very narsassistic (sp) person.
Curmudgeon Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 In my opinion she went from self-absorbed to ridiculous in her dismissal of everyone who wouldn't have an affair just to fulfill their own selfish needs and then taunted them. I think she's a troll just out to get attention and a little shock value. She'll say whatever it takes.
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 narsassistic Yes, she is, most definately. Ofcourse it's for attention and shock value! She knew by posting that last post of hers it would GET reaction! I bet she's lurking LS as a guest and reading what we're saying here.
Sal Paradise Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Yes, she is, most definately. Ofcourse it's for attention and shock value! She knew by posting that last post of hers it would GET reaction! I bet she's lurking LS as a guest and reading what we're saying here. No doubt. Oh well. If the post is fake and she is troll (which I think it is) she is an attention whore. If its not than she is just a plain old whore.
Mz. Pixie Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 :rolleyes: She'll be coming back again in a couple of months, perhaps under a different screen name posting about how terrible her life is. I crack up that now he's so enlightened and intelligent that he doesn't mind her screwing someone else but he wouldn't be the type to work on their sex life?? You don't have to be enlightened or intelligent to screw around with someone- in fact it's just the opposite!
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