Jessie61 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Jessie... maybe try not to look at NC as a desperate last-ditch terrible thing. I've been reading about affairs for far too long now... and one thing is certain... the majority of times the MM left, the OW had given up and gone away and ignored him for a while. Anyway, what MM said to me was that this (NC) is just 'another phase'... part of the 'plan' he called it (I said... there's a plan..??) and that doing what we're doing is a process... and NC is part of that. That's how I'm viewing it, anyway. I'm not giving up hope yet. Sami, Seriously, you should be writing MY posts! Yes, for my MM it has been all about phases and apparently there IS a plan in place which he is sticking to. And yes, I can objectively see progess being made, but it is oh-so-slow... In Jan of this year when he actually did break a deadline, he suggested a NC period because he could see that I was losing my mind and that I needed a break from it all. His plan was to sort everything out at home, and THEN contact me when it was done. I was having none of it and I said NC full stop. For me it works best when I actually TELL myself that NC means the end. It is easier for me when there is NO hope, as opposed to a TINY PIECE of hope. At least NO hope gives me certainty, even though it is terrible news. That is why I have always treated our NC's as the end!!! At the end of the day, Sami, you have to follow your own head and heart. Only you know the intimate details of your R and only you can decide how to deal with the situation. But I think we are both trying to find out the same thing...?
Recommended Posts