2sunny Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I'm confused... is this one of the two guys that found out you were dating them both at the same time? If so, which one is he - guy #1 or guy #2? Ooooh, I forgot - I had a bet on guy #2 that he would be the one to hang around.... please clarify...
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Posted June 12, 2006 I think this is a fundamental issue with f*buddy relationships. You're never really yourself because you have to put up some sort of defense mechanism up so that you don't bond with the person on any level. Your defense mechanism may be to shut down and not speak so as to not let out any information about yourself nor find out anything about him. IMHO, if you let yourself become concerned about what he thinks of you then the f*buddy relationship will not work, you really need to not care about the person too much in order to have sex without a relationship. That is so true about putting up a defense mechanism. Like I don't want to get too close but I don't want to seem like a mute either so it's hard to balance both. I'll just have to get over the awkwardness and just be myself because that's the best way to be.
Yamaha Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 So why do you hang out with your F buddy? I would think that it would be just a booty call relationship ( although I have never had one ). The more you hang isn't it a concern one of you could want more? I guess it could be that you like him as a friend and are attracted but there are things about him that wouldn't work for you in a relationship. Are you just not wanting a relationship now or are you experimenting with FWB relationships and see if you can handle them?
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Posted June 13, 2006 I'm confused... is this one of the two guys that found out you were dating them both at the same time? If so, which one is he - guy #1 or guy #2? Ooooh, I forgot - I had a bet on guy #2 that he would be the one to hang around.... please clarify... well...actually it's neither....yes neither of the guys I was talking about earlier...strange but true. But I had'nt seen my f buddy for awhile, we've both been busy..I traveled to vegas and LA recently, got a new job as an agent, and he had to travel for a convention, for his job, and baseball (played pro) So we kinda had a drought. Yah I regret fooling around, but we also had a recent break in our relationship. Now we're seeing each other again. Anyways, the 2 guys that I was talking about before, the guy that I liked called me from a friend's phone because he had lost his phone, but I missed his call. The other guy that I didn't really like called me too, but I didn't answer his call
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Posted June 13, 2006 So why do you hang out with your F buddy? I would think that it would be just a booty call relationship ( although I have never had one ). The more you hang isn't it a concern one of you could want more? I guess it could be that you like him as a friend and are attracted but there are things about him that wouldn't work for you in a relationship. Are you just not wanting a relationship now or are you experimenting with FWB relationships and see if you can handle them? Well I guess the reason is that I do like my f buddy, I always have. We've always got along, had fun, like the same music, both attracted to each other, and we have similar jobs in sales-I'm an insurance agent, and he's a pharmaceutical rep. BUT it's when we had our "lil discussion" that I've been acting kind of different. The discussion was about our relationships before we met each other, and found out that we both came from bad relationships. Which I think explains some part of our relationship.
kitten chick Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Well I guess the reason is that I do like my f buddy, I always have. We've always got along, had fun, like the same music, both attracted to each other, and we have similar jobs in sales-I'm an insurance agent, and he's a pharmaceutical rep. BUT it's when we had our "lil discussion" that I've been acting kind of different. The discussion was about our relationships before we met each other, and found out that we both came from bad relationships. Which I think explains some part of our relationship. This is the exact same situation as me and my f buddy. EXACTLY. The only difference is that we're both in finance instead of sales.
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Posted June 13, 2006 This is the exact same situation as me and my f buddy. EXACTLY. The only difference is that we're both in finance instead of sales. lol that's funny so it seems as though f buddies have alot in common, but the timing may not be right on both sides. It's weird because we've mentioned to each other that we have to get stable in our lives. Me-well now I have a good job, but at the time I was topped out at my other job and wanted to make more money, & also I need to pay off some bills. In his situation, he moved away from home about 2 yrs ago for his job and to be closer to his MLB team. I think we're both in that rut of where we're trying to settle down in our careers for now.
kitten chick Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 lol that's funny so it seems as though f buddies have alot in common, but the timing may not be right on both sides. It's weird because we've mentioned to each other that we have to get stable in our lives. Me-well now I have a good job, but at the time I was topped out at my other job and wanted to make more money, & also I need to pay off some bills. In his situation, he moved away from home about 2 yrs ago for his job and to be closer to his MLB team. I think we're both in that rut of where we're trying to settle down in our careers for now. We're not relationship material for each other. We both have the right deep and important things that we're both looking for but not enough on the surface to sustain a relationship. It's funny, it's usually the other way around. The problem is that we are both still recovering, we were both damaged pretty badly. We serve a purpose in each other's lives as we have something important to teach the other. I haven't seen mine in a long time either but I'll be seeing him very soon.
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 24, 2006 Author Posted June 24, 2006 Is it significant enough to celebrate the 1 yr anniversary of a f buddy relationship? It's been a year today that I met this guy that I've been seeing continuously, mainly for sexual reasons....although we've also had our share of drama...as in we act like we're bf/gf sometimes. Anyways, I'm not sure if he knows that this day last year was when we met, and I kinda want to mention it to him, but would it be appropriate lol? I don't him to freak out if I actually remembered the very day we met, but stuff like that always sticks in my head.
Tony T Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 If the two of you aren't "seeing" each other in a committed relationship, then I think reminding him of your "first anniversary" would be out of context and inappropriate. Now, if you are having feelings for the guy and would like more than just an F buddy...then you ought to talk to him. There has to be a reason you are sticking around him after a year...it's got to be for more than his dick. Be honest with yourself. Don't make a mistake in reading more into his side...he could probably be your F buddy for life if he could arrange it. You are wasting good time now not being out there seeking other meaningful relationships unless you are using this guy to avoid emotional intimacy. For some, just a good lay on a regular basis is all they seem to need. You have to figure that one out for yourself. So if you think you might want more from this guy, I suppose you could mention in just a casual way that you started screwing his brains out one year ago. Well, don't say it that way...you know what I mean!
Timberlane Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 Having that kind of "relationship" is like being in limbo. Pretty empty, disorienting, and unsatisfying. I had the same quandries when Valentine's Day and birthdays came around. Both times the women initiated the arrangement. In both cases I could take about a month of it and then just had to bail. Hated that and really refuse to do it ever again.
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 If the two of you aren't "seeing" each other in a committed relationship, then I think reminding him of your "first anniversary" would be out of context and inappropriate. Now, if you are having feelings for the guy and would like more than just an F buddy...then you ought to talk to him. There has to be a reason you are sticking around him after a year...it's got to be for more than his dick. Be honest with yourself. Don't make a mistake in reading more into his side...he could probably be your F buddy for life if he could arrange it. You are wasting good time now not being out there seeking other meaningful relationships unless you are using this guy to avoid emotional intimacy. For some, just a good lay on a regular basis is all they seem to need. You have to figure that one out for yourself. So if you think you might want more from this guy, I suppose you could mention in just a casual way that you started screwing his brains out one year ago. Well, don't say it that way...you know what I mean! You're so right on many points. And actually I think I'm nearing the end of this retarded relationship. It's funny because whenever something goes wrong, or someone points out the bad in the relationship, like my friends or even you guys, I seem to snap back into reality and see it for what it really is...just sex. Actually he called me earlier to see what I was doing tonight, I said I dunno yet probably going out, hoping he would say, well lets go out, but instead he said he was going to take a nap, & then call me when he woke up. Well after he didn't call for a couple of hours, I called him...yah I called him and left a message telling him to call me back. Well still no phone call. SO I went over to a friend's house just to hang with her, and since she lives by him, I went by his place to see if his car was there, and it wasn't! I was like WTF!!!??? So anyways, on the way home I played my limp bizkit cd, and jammed out to "nookie" LOL an oldie but a goodie. But in this case he can stick his pro bball bat up his ass!! And watch...he'll call me later on tonight, or tomorrow so we can "hang out" I kinda feel like calling him now and telling him that I guess he found something better to do, OR someone else to do! UGHHHHHH!! WTF ever. Timberlane- We've had our share of drama, jealousy and miscommunication. The thing is, he would get jealous if I talked to other guys but still insisted that our relationship "is what it is"...like he wants his cake & eat it too. Well he needs to grow up! He's 31 yrs-old and I'm pretty sure that he'll be an eternal bachelor. Actually, I'm kinda surprised that it's lasted this long, even after I blew up at him, for confusing me...(he got mad that I was talking to another guy, then the next day I asked him if he was still mad, and he told me that he wasn't mad because it's not like we're gf/bf! UH that right there should've made end things with him, but for some reason I still keep (kept) seeing him.
Lishy Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 OMG Vi Yesterday was the day I first had sex with my fk buddy last year! That is so spooky!
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 OMG Vi Yesterday was the day I first had sex with my fk buddy last year! That is so spooky! OMG that IS spooky!! Just think we were doing the same thing with the same kinda person on the same day last year
Tony T Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 OMG that IS spooky!! Just think we were doing the same thing with the same kinda person on the same day last year That might make the two of you fk buddies of sorts, wouldn't it, in a roundabout way?
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 That might make the two of you fk buddies of sorts, wouldn't it, in a roundabout way? good one Tony T
emotionsmessmeup Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 nope...time spent in a fling doesnt count.
little_girl Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 i agree with you FWB are just that no commitments no nothing just SEX!
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted July 1, 2006 Author Posted July 1, 2006 i agree with you FWB are just that no commitments no nothing just SEX! Yah I just can't believe it's lasted this long...I'm not complaining though...about the sex part of course
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted July 1, 2006 Author Posted July 1, 2006 My current situation is a lil different then the real definition of an FWB just because it started out as a one-night stand, then he called me the next day and it's lasted a year now. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone has developed a serious relationship out of a FWB or a ONS? I've heard alot people say "it is what it is, just sex" and "it will never work" but is there anyone out there that's had success??
Pyro Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 My current situation is a lil different then the real definition of an FWB just because it started out as a one-night stand, then he called me the next day and it's lasted a year now. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone has developed a serious relationship out of a FWB or a ONS? I've heard alot people say "it is what it is, just sex" and "it will never work" but is there anyone out there that's had success?? I have never had it happen to me personally but its a big world, so I believe that it is possible. Both parties just have to be willing and able.
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted July 1, 2006 Author Posted July 1, 2006 I have never had it happen to me personally but its a big world, so I believe that it is possible. Both parties just have to be willing and able. I believe it's possible too, but what you said is key to making it work...willing and able..AND communication.
Pyro Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 I believe it's possible too, but what you said is key to making it work...willing and able..AND communication. Communication is part of the willing and able silly. Its funny that you mention this. An old friend of mine had a FWB for about a year. After that year, she suddenly became interested in having a relationship with him and she even had me give him a note that she wrote. I know that it was pretty childish but I was being a friend. He replied back with he wasn't interested in a real relationship, so she stopped talking to him and all of a sudden he kept trying to contact her and supposedly wanted a relationship but I think that he is FOS. I stopped talikng to her, so I have no idea what became of that.
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted July 1, 2006 Author Posted July 1, 2006 Communication is part of the willing and able silly. Its funny that you mention this. An old friend of mine had a FWB for about a year. After that year, she suddenly became interested in having a relationship with him and she even had me give him a note that she wrote. I know that it was pretty childish but I was being a friend. He replied back with he wasn't interested in a real relationship, so she stopped talking to him and all of a sudden he kept trying to contact her and supposedly wanted a relationship but I think that he is FOS. I stopped talikng to her, so I have no idea what became of that. LOL sorry I'm a lil delirious at the moment because it's late and I need to get to bed But that's interesting what you mentioned. That he tried to contact her and want a relationship AFTER the fact that she stopped talking to him.
Pyro Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 LOL sorry I'm a lil delirious at the moment because it's late and I need to get to bed But that's interesting what you mentioned. That he tried to contact her and want a relationship AFTER the fact that she stopped talking to him. I am getting delirious for the same reasons, but you probably don't have to get up in 5 hours for work. He was nothing but a spoiled momma and daddys boy and had not much going on for him in the looks department. She wasn't much either, so I believe that he did that out of despearation.
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