MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 On top of that, it was our first "serious" relationship for both of us. Essentially we were each others "first loves". That's also why it stings that she has moved on so fast, imho. That makes a big difference. I think first relationships tend to die a lot harder because it's normal to develop unrealistic expectations during the honeymoon period. You start thinking you lucked out and found the perfect person your first time around. Of course, if you break up and have subsequent relationships, you realize the honeymoon period phenomenon for what it is. I wouldn't be so sure she's moved on. There's a high probability this new guy is a rebound relationship for her in which case he's going to get screwed over in the end too.
littlepiggy1 Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 That makes a big difference. I think first relationships tend to die a lot harder because it's normal to develop unrealistic expectations during the honeymoon period. You start thinking you lucked out and found the perfect person your first time around. Of course, if you break up and have subsequent relationships, you realize the honeymoon period phenomenon for what it is. Yeah, I definitely learned a few things this time 'round. I wouldn't be so sure she's moved on. There's a high probability this new guy is a rebound relationship for her in which case he's going to get screwed over in the end too. I figure that could be it. By my estimation from the time she told me she'd "met" someone, that means she was probably dating in a little over a month after we split up. Mind you, she's always been the type who seems to surpress all her negative emotions, but then winds up chronically depressed as a result. Not to mention the insecurities, cultural issues, and confusion over her sexualitity... Ah, now I remember why we broke up.
AFriend Posted April 26, 2006 Posted April 26, 2006 Hey UT, it must suck to hear your ex-gf has a new BF. I found out my ex-gf got a new bf after a month of our breakup. Yes, it does hurt at first, but then after awhile it turned out pretty well because it ment no more hope! So, in the long run it was a good thing because with no more hope I moved on much quicker than if I still had it lingerin' around. Expect a little set back though, but it's okay; 1 step back 2 steps forward. =)
Author UT_longhorn Posted April 26, 2006 Author Posted April 26, 2006 Hey UT, it must suck to hear your ex-gf has a new BF. I found out my ex-gf got a new bf after a month of our breakup. Yes, it does hurt at first, but then after awhile it turned out pretty well because it ment no more hope! So, in the long run it was a good thing because with no more hope I moved on much quicker than if I still had it lingerin' around. Expect a little set back though, but it's okay; 1 step back 2 steps forward. =) You know what AFriend...I think it will help me move on. I did suddenly loose all hope of reconciling. And yes it does kind of suck, but it doesn't suck so bad where I can't function. Since I've found out, I think I've been making decent strides in truly letting go. Its crazy cause its been less than 48 hours since I heard the news. But I really hope that this feeling of truly letting go stays with me and it gives me the extra push to truly get over this. I am hopeful and am positive. Something that I haven't been for a long long time. I always knew that hope was the thing that was keeping me form moving on. Holding on to that hope is killer. Thats the thing that we have to really break in order to heal. I've known people who have held on to hope for years and it prevented them from moving forward. And I definately do not want that.
skeptik224 Posted April 26, 2006 Posted April 26, 2006 Hope in general isn't a bad thing but when it comes to relationships and reconciling, it can be extremely dangerous. You'll soon see that although it completely sucks now, it's a blessing in disguise. You've come so far, UT. Don't discount all the work you've been doing on yourself in the meantime. I know it stings...trust me...it stung when my ex did it. You will be the better person when all is said and done. It's better for you to go through the pain and feelings now as opposed to running into the arms of another woman and avoiding things all together. It's so easy to do, and it takes a real man to work on things within himself. Keep going...I agree with the other poster - 1 step back, 2 steps forward!
sick of it Posted April 26, 2006 Posted April 26, 2006 Hey guys... my ex (after a 5.5 yr relationship) started dating a month after we broke up and he moved in with her a month later.... youd think that would make me give up...but here i am, almost a year later missing her
PlentyLV007 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 so i heard from a friend last night that she believes that my ex gf has a new man. the news hurts, but its not as excruciating as i thought it could be. im trying not to dwell on it but i find myself constantly thinking about it. now i can tell myself it really is over. there is no hope, and there is no chance. my friend last night kept telling me, hey...there is no hope, dont keep holding on to something that is not there. i hope that knowing this piece of information will help me move on faster. i hope it doesn'e set me back too much. how about others that have found out the ex is dating again. did it help, or just hurt? I don't know but, if I heard ...or saw....even though it's been over 2 years and I've moved on...yes...just a little.
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