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Posted

i just read this thread, which i think may be helpful for alot of women stuck in the ow position. this is because i believe that alot of mm/ow relationships are equivalent to the f*** buddy situation, in that the ow who accepts her role (continues with it), is essentially saying, she doesnt want anything else, and although generally mm tend to be more devious about getting ow in the sack, he also assumes that ow is ok with the role, after all, he is married.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=772448#post772448

Posted

very true..I swear I was just thinking about this very thing yesterday..thats what me and MM are f&ck buddies :sick:

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Posted

i know, its not nice is it. best to get out, but, it is difficult.

Posted

The term the kids (and now some adults) use now is "friends with benefits".

 

And it does accurately describe a lot of extra-marital relationships. Especially from the WS (wayward spouse's) viewpoint. Most often they want BOTH...their spouse and their affair partner. And often they will do ANYTHING to maintain that status quo.

 

As far as getting out of the affair relationship, it's simple. NOT EASY...but simple.

 

End it and walk away. Change all your methods of contact so that it's hard/impossible for the MM/MW to contact you. Tell his/her spouse about what's been going on, and let them know that you want to end it. If you're married...tell YOUR spouse what's been going on, and that you want to end it.

 

Again, it won't be easy...but the steps to make it happen are simple. And once you take that first REAL step (notifying the appropriate spouses), the rest of it all follows naturally.

 

Think about this...think about it hard. If you REALLY decide to end the affair, this is all you have to do. Ending the affair is SIMPLE...actually making the choice to do so is what seems to wear everyone out. That's why I'm almost always advocating telling the impacted spouses...because it forces the action that everyone's really avoiding.

 

Not a personal judgement on anyone here...just an assessment of where the REAL difficulty in moving forward tends to be. The CHOICE...not the actions.

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Posted

thankyou owl for updating me on current terminology

Posted

You would be amazed at what you learn with 4 teenaged kids in the house! YIKES!!!

Posted
You would be amazed at what you learn with 4 teenaged kids in the house! YIKES!!!

 

Yeah! How about finding out that I am an MILF? I didn't know what that meant til my BF told me!

Posted
Yeah! How about finding out that I am an MILF? I didn't know what that meant til my BF told me!

 

Movinon, you are hilarious!!! You didn't see American Pie?!?? I think MILF is definitely high compliments!!

 

I could never be a friend with benefits to someone, at least not by my own choice.

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