Ranyamellon Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years now and I love him a lot but I can't help but to wonder if I'm missing out. He's my first boyfriend and I've never really dated before. I'm graduating in a month and I feel that if we're still going out by the time he graduates (in a year) it only makes sense that we'll get married (the subject has kind of been discussed). While I could see myself marrying him...I can't help but wonder if there is someone else out there. It doesn't help that there is this guy friend of mine who I'm spending a lot of time with. Rationally, I know that nothing would happen and even if I did end up dating him it wouldn't be a better relationship than the one I have with my boyfriend, but lately I've been getting more emotional enjoyment from him because he makes sure that the time we spend together is fun. And it's making me wonder whether I'm missing out on something in my relationship or if I'm missing out on some guy out there who would better match me.
MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I've always wondered about precisely the situation you're in. If a person has only been in 1 relationship their whole life and it ends up getting serious (e.g. engagement or marriage), how will they know if they're truly happy being with that person or they just don't know any better and it's actually a mediocre relationship. The reason you're getting more "emotional enjoyment" out of your friend (and even a little tempted to envision yourself with him) is because you and your boyfriend are in the comfort zone. When a relationship has gone on for a long time, it's easy to get complacent. How often do you and your boyfriend still go out on dates? How is your relationship different now compared to the first few months? Evolution of a relationship over time is normal and not a bad thing but you still have to make the effort to keep it exciting. Make sure you two try new things and still go out as a couple relatively frequently. But to answer your original question, I think what you have to ask yourself is, "Am I happy in this relationship?" Does your boyfriend make you happy? Is he thoughtful and respectful? Would he make a good father and husband if you two are interested in future children? If you can say yes to all those things, it'd be wise to stay with him. If the answer is no, especially to the "does he make you happy" question, it might be time to take a break and date other peeople.
Author Ranyamellon Posted April 26, 2006 Author Posted April 26, 2006 thanks for that very thoughtful and logical response. i'll definately take your advice and see if my boyfriend and i can change things up.
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