mangossirena Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I don't understand...this guy was very intent on getting me to go out with him, after a month I finally decided why not. I've been seeing him since January. He's really a great guy,and I really care for him. What confuses me is that during a recent conversation he told me not to get too attached,because it would hurt me later on. Could he be planning to break it off with me in the near future?
MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 If he's telling you not to get too attached because he'll hurt you later on, listen to him. You could date him casually but don't get into a serious relationship with him. He obviously has some issues to say something like that (e.g. he's not ready for commitment.)
Toni_no12002 Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 You need to talk to him because he should have made it obvious in the first place of what he wanted from you.If its just a casual thing he wants and you dont,break it off with him because you will only get hurt!
luvtoto Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I don't understand...this guy was very intent on getting me to go out with him, after a month I finally decided why not. I've been seeing him since January. He's really a great guy,and I really care for him. What confuses me is that during a recent conversation he told me not to get too attached,because it would hurt me later on. Could he be planning to break it off with me in the near future? Yes, do not get too attached till you understand what he's doing. This is not an invitation for you to try to "win him over". Do not put all your eggs in one basket with this guy or it's gonna be a heartbreak for you.
TallGuy90 Posted April 26, 2006 Posted April 26, 2006 If he's telling you not to get too attached because he'll hurt you later on, listen to him. You could date him casually but don't get into a serious relationship with him. He obviously has some issues to say something like that (e.g. he's not ready for commitment.) i kinda agree with you MadDog... maybe the guy isn't ready for a commitment or maybe he's not looking for a serious relationship...
aleatoryd Posted April 26, 2006 Posted April 26, 2006 Respect the guy for being honest and telling you the truth. It can still work out - the two of you just need to be clear on where the relationship is going, the boundaries and whether you are both happy with these things. It's possible that he has issues to resolve - maybe past relationships, bad experiences or commitment issues. Just take things slowly and carefully. If it's meant to be then it will work out. If not then move on and remember what a great time you had. It's a learning experience and talking it through is the best thing in any relationship. Hope it goes well for you.
Wicked Wanda Posted April 26, 2006 Posted April 26, 2006 Keep him as a friend if you like him but look elsewhere for something more permanent. He's hinted he has issues but I think you need to ask hime exactly what he means by that comment.
Author mangossirena Posted April 27, 2006 Author Posted April 27, 2006 I actually just finished having a talk with him about the comment he made. We talked for almost 3 hours! I'm an all or nothing kind of person, and so I explained to him that if he didn't want me to get attached we'd have to end the relationship right now. The thought of me ending it really upset him. It seems like he's attached already (I was surprised). So instead of ending it, I decided that we shouldn't see each other for a while,only talk on the phone. He was reluctant, but agreed. I guess we'll see what happens now.
Walk Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 Good for you! That was awesome... so confident and assured in who you are. (no sarcasm..) I really hate that stupid bullshyt game playing... "don't get too attached"... basically male chest beating. Frickin' annoys me. He probably wanted you to chase him, then got the wind knocked out of his sails when you told him you weren't playing. (I'm probably reading far too much into this..)
littlekitty Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 Did he say what the comment meant? What are his issues with commitment?
Author mangossirena Posted April 30, 2006 Author Posted April 30, 2006 I've known from the start that he didn't want a serious relationship. Hell I don't either,not right now. Although in the future I do. I'm just not ready yet. Anyway...I told him I wasn't about to drop something in his lap that he clearly didn't want. So I figure game over,you know? I'll bow out and get over it,but he refused. He said he didn't want to lose total contact with me. Thats why I decided on phone contact only, for now. Why do I get the feeling this relationship is gonna get serious anyway?
allina Posted April 30, 2006 Posted April 30, 2006 I believe that often people tell you things very clearly, take them at face value. It's like when my ex told me "I'm not even sure you're the one" face value, I wasn't.
Wicked Wanda Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I believe that often people tell you things very clearly, take them at face value. It's like when my ex told me "I'm not even sure you're the one" face value, I wasn't. My God, that is cold and heartless of him!
justagirliegirl Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I believe that often people tell you things very clearly, take them at face value. It's like when my ex told me "I'm not even sure you're the one" face value, I wasn't. I think if someone said that to me I would fire back with that's ok, I'm not sure you are it either.
Sassy Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Sounds to me that he isn't ready for a serious relationship. Be careful and not fall to hard for him . Maybe you shouldn't even waste your time with him ,since there can never be a future with him.JMO
francis Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I believe that often people tell you things very clearly, take them at face value. It's like when my ex told me "I'm not even sure you're the one" face value, I wasn't. My ex boyfriend told me this too. He's now telling me that our break up was never a permanent one for him and that we have a unique connection that cannot be replaced by anyone else. wonder which i should take at face value? men are so confusing
allina Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 My God, that is cold and heartless of him! It came out wrong in my post, it was while we were talking about breaking up and what was wrong, we both felt that way. And it was harsh but it also helped to make a nice clear break. It's been a little under a year, we have both moved on a long time ago and are now decent friends. So, yeah justagirlygirl, I did say that back, and I meant it
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