Noos Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I'm running out of ideas. Bars and nightclubs are full of younger people. The last time I went to see a live band, a 19-year-old-hit on me. (I was almost 31). I've taken community education courses - cooking (Guys were there with their girlfriends or were married). When I go out to dinner with friends, or food and wine festivals, no one approaches me. My work is small (three people - all women - I'm the youngest by thrity years). I don't know any single guys anymore like I used to at university. Online guy flaked on me. Where do people on here go to meet others? I'm told I'm attractive (pretty face), well-educated (actually, I've been told to dumb down if I want to attract a guy), I'm fit and slim. I've done everything one is told to do to meet new guys and it's not working. I'm thinking about giving up and buying a cat.
MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I've done everything one is told to do to meet new guys and it's not working. I'm thinking about giving up and buying a cat. Buy a dozen cats and you can be the local crazy cat lady. I seriously think there's little you can do to meet someone you'd click with. It's mostly (~95%) luck. Of course, if you stay at home and never go out, then you'll have no chance of meeting anyone. At the same time, you can take a bunch of classes or join a bunch of clubs but it only slightly increases your chances of meeting someone; this is better than having no chance though. What you want to avoid is getting desperate. Don't have the mindset that you want to meet someone and be in a relationship. You really have to be happy being single. Otherwise, the next guy you meet can be complete scum but you'll end up getting involved with him way more than you should. Think of being in a good relationship as icing on the cake. You should have a happy life that would be enhanced and not made by a relationship.
Author Noos Posted April 25, 2006 Author Posted April 25, 2006 Thanks Mad Dog. I trust your instincts. You seem to meet people you want to date all the time though. How do you do it?
lovelorcet Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Facing more or less the same situation here as well. It is hard to meet someone who would even come into question for a relationship. I think MadDogs advice about trying to be happy single is really good and I am working on that myself. But if you do find a place to meet people let me know and I am there!
MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I meet girls I'd want to date at lots of different places like libraries or bookstores when I'm studying, friends' parties, at the beach, etc. It's not like I meet a girl I'd want to date everyday or anything. Also, I'm only basing it on physical attraction so a vast majority of the time it doesn't work out beyond a first date. I think what makes it easy for me is that I don't feel any pressure to get dates. A week or two might pass by with absolutely no prospects and it's fine by me because I'm totally happy enjoying the single life. But then I'll meet maybe 2 hot girls in a span of a few days and I'll at least talk to them and if I'm interested, I'll take them out. Lots of times they have boyfriends (lots of the cute ones do) but it's no big deal. As someone has mentioned before, dating is a numbers game and you should only be worried about the number of hits and not misses. I'd much rather ask out 10 girls in a month and get 3 phone numbers than ask out 1 and get 1.
Yamaha Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 MD's advice is good but you can show interest in a guy you see that might be of interest to you. If you want to increase your odds you have to put yourself out there a bit but also don't feel obligated to date if you aren't feeling it. Be friendly and approchable. Learn to flirt abit and see if it doesn't increase your numbers.
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