markinblack Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Hi all. I'm looking for some feedback, and I hope someone can offer some feedback... My wife thinks I'm crazy because I don't like to shower with her. We've done this a few times in the past (been together about 10 years), and while I enjoy the part where I'm washing/pleasing her, I get really uncomfortable with her washing me.... I genuinely do enjoy being with her, but find that I get uncomfortable (ie. the willies, or very ticklish - which I REALLY don't enjoy at all) when I'm touched anywhere but my genitals. (please note, I've got no history at all of abuse or other trauma in my life). Any thoughts? Any input is appreciated. Thanks. MarkInBlack.
luvtoto Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Hi all. I'm looking for some feedback, and I hope someone can offer some feedback... My wife thinks I'm crazy because I don't like to shower with her. We've done this a few times in the past (been together about 10 years), and while I enjoy the part where I'm washing/pleasing her, I get really uncomfortable with her washing me.... I genuinely do enjoy being with her, but find that I get uncomfortable (ie. the willies, or very ticklish - which I REALLY don't enjoy at all) when I'm touched anywhere but my genitals. (please note, I've got no history at all of abuse or other trauma in my life). Any thoughts? Any input is appreciated. Thanks. MarkInBlack. I get a bit claustrophobic at times and am a big fan of personal space! Maybe the shower is just too confined.
whichwayisup Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Alot of this is because you're ticklish. Can I ask, how are you in bed if she tries to give you back scratch/tickle/massage? Does it make you feel weird then too? Or just in shower? You have afew choices here...You can explain to her that showering is HER deal, so you'd like to treat her like a queen in there and not to worry about you. That way atleast you're showering together. Or, learn 'mind over matter' and teach yourself breathing techniques so you won't feel so ticklish. Distraction etc., and learn how to NOT be ticklish. Or, just explain to her that this is one thing that you're not into and for her not to take it personally.
aleatoryd Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I think it's natural. Sure you are married and love and share with each other but showers are "time out" to yourself things. It's not about abuse in your childhood but it might be mindset - you are probably just used to cleaning yourself on your own and it seems unnatural to do anything else in the shower. It's also nice to have a long really hot shower!
MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I genuinely do enjoy being with her, but find that I get uncomfortable (ie. the willies, or very ticklish - which I REALLY don't enjoy at all) when I'm touched anywhere but my genitals. Haha. That's a good one. I'm going to have to use that line the next time I get a massage.
luvtoto Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Haha. That's a good one. I'm going to have to use that line the next time I get a massage. Can't get nothing past you MadDog!
MadDog Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Can't get nothing past you MadDog! I thought it was pretty obvious. It's kinda like saying, "I can only give girls massages. . .on their breasts. . .using my mouth." I mean, how can someone be ticklish everywhere but on their genitals?
Outcast Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I knew someone like you. It was pretty boring. He had a dose of OCD and felt 'dirty' or something unless he scrubbed himself - without company. Sounds like you're not into foreplay, either
black_cat1985 Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I thought it was pretty obvious. It's kinda like saying, "I can only give girls massages. . .on their breasts. . .using my mouth." I mean, how can someone be ticklish everywhere but on their genitals? You can be the total opposite...My bf is tickilish only on his genitals, arm pits, and legs...I mean you touch him on his scrotum and he starts to laugh...I mean come on. And Mark you have nothing to worry about it is natural for you to feel that in a shower..I have been with my hunny for 6 months and no shower together. I mean we both have been over weight and that would be awkward for us to see each other under bright lights and water...its bright in our bathrooms.
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