kpin124 Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Hello everyone..... I haven't been on here in a while I have been very busy with things for myself and my family.... Thank God well I find myself today needing some support...... I am missing mm very much right now I can't hardly stand it. I just want to hear from him or see him and know he is ok. I keep listening to the voicemails he left me and I look at his picture daily. I was ready to call him and then I decided to log on here and see what everyone was up to in hopes that would stop me from calling him.... March 20was the last contact that I had with him....... I just miss him so much.... I know that if he called me tomorrow I would go back to the way everything was I would start being the ow again and start cheating on my h again and I just dont understand why. I don't understand why someone can have that kind of hold on me but mm does........... It is like an addiction... We are getting ready to leave on vacation on friday and I am going to have a whole week to think and not have the everyday stress infront of me and it scares me that I will have that much time on my hands to think about him(mm).... should I contact him????
Free Spirit Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Do not call him. You are doing so well and if you go back then you will have to start this tough time all over again. Be strong and hang in there until your vacation and the temptation will pass. He is not worth it and he is married. Its not nice to say but do you think he is wasting so much of his time thinking of you? He still has someone.......his wife. Not to sound too harsh because I have been there and I still miss him to. Its almost like an addiction but even smoking the one cigarette can get you back on a nasty habit forever. You said that if you called him then it would start all over again.........all the more reason not to do it then.
zarathustra Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Hello everyone..... I haven't been on here in a while I have been very busy with things for myself and my family.... Thank God well I find myself today needing some support...... I am missing mm very much right now I can't hardly stand it. I just want to hear from him or see him and know he is ok. I keep listening to the voicemails he left me and I look at his picture daily. I was ready to call him and then I decided to log on here and see what everyone was up to in hopes that would stop me from calling him.... March 20was the last contact that I had with him....... I just miss him so much.... I know that if he called me tomorrow I would go back to the way everything was I would start being the ow again and start cheating on my h again and I just dont understand why. I don't understand why someone can have that kind of hold on me but mm does........... It is like an addiction... We are getting ready to leave on vacation on friday and I am going to have a whole week to think and not have the everyday stress infront of me and it scares me that I will have that much time on my hands to think about him(mm).... should I contact him???? Hi Kpin. Don't call him. I don't recall the whole story, but if you're here, most likely, you've decided to leave him, knowing you deserve sooooo much more or he's left you high and dry. In any case, calling him will only make you feel worse I used to play back one vm that my xMM used to leave me... How he loves me tremendously and how he cannot imagine his life without me. Well, wtf is he today? He's home playing mr. perfect daddy and mr. perfect hubby to his wife. The one who he told me plays on his insecurities to get what she wants. Somehow, miraculously, he's now the bad guy who was not accomodating enough, the control freak, etc. I'm so sorry to hear about how you miss him but you know that you deserve much better than he can offer you. If he loves you, he will make himself available to you.
Author kpin124 Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 I think this is just so hard because we have went twice before for several months with no contact because we both got busy with our home lives and so on well after several months there he was back..... I just have this feeling that he will be back again so I hang on to that hoping that I will hear from him.... I even have a $20 bill in my wallet that he gave me the last time that we meet for some stuff i had paid for and i won't spend it.... it is tucked away in my wallet and i feel like if i have that then i still in a sense have a little bit of him...... I am just such a mess right now and I don't know why for the most part i had been doing really good and I was rather proud of myself but these past few days have been tough very tough...... thank you guys for your continued support ........
Author kpin124 Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 I guess why this is so hard for me is because we have went several months before and not had any contact and then one day there he is..... basically we would both get busy with things in our home life and then when things calmed down we would come back to each other..... and I just can't help but think this is going to be the same way...... I miss him so much and i just don't know why this is so hard right now... I had been doing pretty good and these past few days have been very tough....... I really miss his friendship sure i miss seeing him and kissing him but the friendship hurts the most right now....... he could always make me smile : ) no matter what! I have a $20 bill that he gave me the last time we saw each other and I won't spend it I keep it tucked away in my wallet and as long as I have that I still feel like I in some ways still have him at least it helps me remember him....... Thank you for your continuted support.....
movinon05 Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I don't know your story, but the only way I was able to move on with my life was to destroy everything he ever gave me, rip up pictures, destroy the things he made me with a hammer, throw every damn thing out in my house that he gave me or reminded me of him. Every letter I could find. I even went so far as to burn the last thing I gave him that expressed all my feelings for him which I had to hang onto since he couldn't bring it home. I stood there and said goodbye one last time. Stop torturing yourself. I had my pity parties drinking all by myself listening to our music, crying my eyes out. Did it all. But I don't anymore. I don't believe you can really move on until you exorcise him and everything that reminds you of him. You can do this. I didn't think I could, but I did. And the pain has receded immensely so that I can function and become productive with my life. You can too. Go on vacation and enjoy everything around you and be grateful for what you now have. Find the silver lining.
Author kpin124 Posted April 25, 2006 Author Posted April 25, 2006 I really wish i could make myself get rid of everything i have that reminds me of him but i can't...... I don't know why and i don't understand it but it would hurt to bad....... I am ready to go on vacation and hopefully that can be a new start for me.... I just know that times before he has been gone for several months and then he comes back again and i just know that he will eventually come back and that is going to be hard.... because i will want to run right back to him..... The thought of tearing up his pictures just makes me ill....... when ever i want to smile i will look that them.... i just really hate this and i wish i could make it stop.....
Author kpin124 Posted April 25, 2006 Author Posted April 25, 2006 I am not real sure why but i keep posting and nothing ever shows up???? Well anyway It is very hard for me to try and get rid of any of the things that remind me of him..... We have went several months before and had no contact and i just know that he will end up back in my life and it is just a matter of time..... I just need to be strong enough to tell him to leave but right now there is no way that i would do that..... I would run right to him.... i do wish that i could move on and forget about him but there is just something about him something i can't put my finger on but he is amazing and i honestly have never felt this way about anyone before.... does that feeling pass????
movinon05 Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 I am about to post on my thread "Girls I need help right now". Try to take strength from me because its all I have to give.
Meaplus3 Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Hello everyone..... I haven't been on here in a while I have been very busy with things for myself and my family.... Thank God well I find myself today needing some support...... I am missing mm very much right now I can't hardly stand it. I just want to hear from him or see him and know he is ok. I keep listening to the voicemails he left me and I look at his picture daily. I was ready to call him and then I decided to log on here and see what everyone was up to in hopes that would stop me from calling him.... March 20was the last contact that I had with him....... I just miss him so much.... I know that if he called me tomorrow I would go back to the way everything was I would start being the ow again and start cheating on my h again and I just dont understand why. I don't understand why someone can have that kind of hold on me but mm does........... It is like an addiction... We are getting ready to leave on vacation on friday and I am going to have a whole week to think and not have the everyday stress infront of me and it scares me that I will have that much time on my hands to think about him(mm).... should I contact him???? Hi, I so understand what your are going throught right now and I feel for you. Dont' call! You will be right back where you started and it will only make thing's worse, I know I have been there. I went on Vacation too back in Feb and I thought it was going to be a tough week. I ended up having a wonderful time with my family and was able to put aside my feeling's for the mm, It was not easy at first but after a day or two I was so enjoying myself. Have a lovely vacation and I wish you all the best! Stay strong you CAN!
OzGirl Posted April 25, 2006 Posted April 25, 2006 Don't contact him. Spend your week away thinking about what it is, within yourself, that makes you feel like you need him. It's about you and your needs - and maybe, there's reason you feel the way you do and maybe, you can work on them within yourself. Identifying them is the hard part. Best of luck.
Author kpin124 Posted April 26, 2006 Author Posted April 26, 2006 Hello everyone.... I see my post's finally showed up.... That was really weird they all just appeared all of a sudden.... well anyway I am going to take this next week and really try and figure this out....I had never really had anyone tell me (its about you and your needs) that is so true there is something that i need and i am not getting at home and that is why i have such a connection with him but i don't know what that thing is???? so i am hopeful that i can figure some of this out while being on vacation.... I just want to say thank you to all of you for supporting me this site is very helpful and i am so glad that i have found it:)
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