BryteNytez Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Dilema: my gf and I have been dating for a year. I've given so much to this girl. Told her my life story, all my secrets, been there for her through thick and thin. Sexually I've given her a lot (no intercourse), back rubs, foot rubs, other acts. I've gotten very little in comparison. I can out the number of times I've felt happy after she's left on one hand. I've been romantic, given her gifts, taking her on sweet random dates, tried to do free things like watch the stars, go on walks and what not. Given her promise rings, a necklace, a locket with two pictures of her father on the anniversary of his death. I haven't gotten much from her. I've gotten more from her than other guys (or so she says), but she's lied to me several times already. She tells me her past isn't important or interesting. She's made me jealous by pursuing a guy at work, I talked to her about that, yet she still continued to heavily pursue him. She's lied about things she's done and still denies it in fact... I've had so many people ask me why I'm still with this girl. I've talked to her and told her what I need and want out of the relationship. I get a "I'll try harder, I promise". Yet, looking through my old private blogs, it's been a steady stream of the same thing: unhappiness. Well now, her former roommate from last year (at college and will be her roommate next year) has come on to me, hard. Confessing her feelings for me from over the year. I want this girl really bad right now, but I'm worried of the drama that might be caused afterwards. My current gf is staying here over the summer where as this one girl is leaving to go home. My current gf works where I work. I worry that if I stay with this girl, I'll go through another period of unhappiness. I worry if I don't go after this new girl, I'll miss something very nice. She's willing to give what I've always wanted out of this relationship. I've had countless people tell me I should dump my current gf and I'm now actually considering it. What would you do?
lovelorcet Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 It sounds like you have already made up your mind and now you are just looking for some kind of affirmation. If you have clearly expressed you emotional needs to her and she is not capable of meeting them to your satisfactory then that is reason enough to go. My only suggestion would be to clean up your first mess before you start another one. If this other girl has been wanting you for a year then a few more weeks won’t kill her. End your relationship, and let things settle a bit before your girlfriend catches wind of this other girl.
tikigods Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Sounds like you already know what you want to do and just want us to validate your feelings. So here I go, I think that life is to short to be in a relationship with someone we don't like
Sleeps w/Butterflies Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I agree with everyone elses reply. You seem very giving therefore she should appreciate having a caring bf. I think you should end things but in a nice way, sometimes people need to be let go so that they can truely appreciate what they have/had. You don't want to spend anymore time being miserable. I think you should go on with your life and if there is true love she will change and want to be a better gf but that might be too little too late. However, all in all you deserve better.
Vertex Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I was in a similar position. I felt like I gave a lot to my girlfriend and never got much in return, including affection or any form of appreciation or gratitude. I felt very taken for granted. It was unhappy and it eventually just crumbled apart -- you are better off finding someone else who is more on your level. I'd fix your current situation before pursuing someone new -- don't cheat or anything like that. But make it clear how you feel and that you wish to move on from her. (In my opinion someone like your girlfriend who does not truly make an effort to reciprocate is someone who is not as into you and will probably want to break from you down the road, especially if you've already caught her in lies. You are better off finding someone who you can have a mutually-appreciative relationship with) All I gotta say is I applaud you for considering this now. I waited it all out far too long in hopes it'd get better but it never did :/ Usually it's that hope that keeps an unhappy relationship going, but in your case I don't know how willing she truly is to change herself for you.
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