shelters Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I was wondering what were some of the positive things everyone has experienced while healing their broken heart? Like perhaps that one moment where you caught yourself laughing at someone's joke again, or the realization that someone of the opposite sex just actually caught your eye. Or better yet, what are some of the positive outlooks you have (even if they only last minutes) that are helping you to move on. For me, I look back on my life knowing that there is not one thing I would change; none of the joy, none of the sadness. It is so easy to have this thought while everything is going great in life (esp in a relationship), but remembering this now (post break up) gives me comfort to know that this break up will also be one of those 'things' that someday looking back on it, I would never want to change.
Curmudgeon Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I came to realize that I deserved better than I'd gotten for 25 years and I began to like myself and enjoy my own company. Peace, quiet and solitude without being answerable to anyone but myself were great gifts.
BBetsy Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I'm sure there are some positives I could list, but I don't think I'll ever say "I wouldn't change a thing" -- of course, I would change the fact that he stopped loving me.
Curmudgeon Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I'm glad she did. It's made life since ever so much better. I could do without her hatred, however. It affects our children. Thank God they're all adults now.
zarathustra Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I was wondering what were some of the positive things everyone has experienced while healing their broken heart? Like perhaps that one moment where you caught yourself laughing at someone's joke again, or the realization that someone of the opposite sex just actually caught your eye. Actually, its the friends I've met here on LS that's the most positive. I wouldn't have found this site had my ex and I were not broken up and I would have never met some of the amazing people here on this site.
prfrogkisser Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Ive found that opening my heart to help others has eased the pain. My hurt doesnt seem much when there is so many people in need. Happiness is a choice not an emotion.
Author shelters Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 I'm sure there are some positives I could list, but I don't think I'll ever say "I wouldn't change a thing" -- of course, I would change the fact that he stopped loving me. Every story is different and I wish you peace with how yours unfolds. In my case it took me a couple years to fully process my first love and it is only looking back now 11 years later that I am able to say "that there is not one thing I would change." He and I both had life lessons to be learned that we simply could not learn together. My recent ex is the second time I have fallen in love in my life, and I remember a decade ago going through that (1st love) break up thinking how cruel the Universe was to give me the awesomeness of that relationship (he was/is a great person) only to take it away... remembering that feeling now and then seeing how it really did all work out for the best... that helps me to have faith that at some point in the future I will look back on this recent break up and feel the same way. But this is only my story... Actually, its the friends I've met here on LS that's the most positive. I wouldn't have found this site had my ex and I were not broken up and I would have never met some of the amazing people here on this site. Yeah, friends are wonderful. Another positive for me out of this break up is all the love that has come my way from my support system. Last week I either snail mailed or phoned various people to express my gratitude for their friendship. Ive found that opening my heart to help others has eased the pain. My hurt doesnt seem much when there is so many people in need. Happiness is a choice not an emotion. I hear what you are saying, tho earlier this year I lost someone very special to me and I'm not sure I would say that I was choosing to be sad... but I get the gist of what you mean. I think during break-ups some of us (I'm guilty) can focus only on our failures (I broke NC, if I had only done xyz the relationship wouldn't have failed, etc). It is one thing to experience the sadness and the abandonment, it is another to beat ourselves up and really, abandon ourselves, in our grief process. It is a choice to be kind to ourselves, to focus on our successes no matter how small (I actually laughed today, I didn't wake up this morning at 4am with that empty feeling in my stomach, etc).
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