Jadore Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 HELP. My boyfriend (now EX boyfriend) told me 3 weeks ago I don't make him happy. He said he loved me and that we can live together (I pay 75% of the rent!.. well, not anymore 50/50. I made that clear). He left to go back to California the next week and I realized, NO.. well, frankly.. hell no I don't want to waste my time with him if he doesn't appreciate me for who I am. I became really angry and hurt. I broke up with him when he came back in a really nice way. But, the whole friends thing is not working out. We talked about him moving out and he just sits around the house playing WoW in his underwear. I try and ask him when he will be moving out but he never responds. THEN, finally today I asked him and he said, "DON'T EVER TALK TO ME UNLESS YOU NEED SOMETHING." What the hell do I do?
GB111 Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Is your boyfriend on the lease? If not, you can have the police evict him. If you're both on the lease, you're stuck until the lease ends. Hopefully that isn't too long. Oh, and walk around in your underwear.
RecordProducer Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 What the hell do I do?Eat beans and fart, drink carbonated drinks and beer and burb... play loud music (the song he hates, over and over again), hide his favorite gadgets, pour blueberry juice and red wine on his favorite, most expensive clothes, scratch all his CDs, break the air conditioning in his room... Seriously, you need a legal basis to backup your intentions if you want to throw him out. If you CAN, pack his bags and leave them in front of the door when you see him coming or at his friend's house. Then change the lock. This is what I would do and recommend. If you don't want to throw him out physically then just don't pay the rent, don't buy food for the fridge, but eat HIS, spend his stuff, and annoy him in every possible way. Bring a date at home. He'll walk out sooner than you think.
tikigods Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 easy if hes not on the lease, pack up his stuff while he is out, put it outside and change the locks
GiveAndTake Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I live NY so I only know that laws here but if someone stays overnight for 2 days straight, they are considered to be living there. You cannot have them thrown out. You may be able to get them evicted if they aren't on the lease but that could take up to 6 months. I think if you bring home a guy, even if you have to borrow someone. Preferably a BIG guy or a cop (you can pretend he's a cop) so there won't be any chance of him trying to start something physically. Go in your room, lock the door and make lots of noise. I don't think it will take long after that. And no, I don't think she is mean. He broke up with her.
Author Jadore Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 The downside is that we are both on the lease. Is it horrible I am already talking to someone else? In this situation I think not because I try and talk always in our apartment lobby or outside. Then a spark of intuition came straight down on me. HELLO, TALK TO HIM IN THE APARTMENT! So, I did and ofcourse, he acts like it doesn't bother him, but the more the better I think. Persistence is key, I am getting here. Oh, and I am buying all the foods I like that he HATES. I'm an organic vegetarian which is the complete opposite of him. He has like nothing to eat here. And all the furniture (even the blanket he is sleeping with right now) is all mine. I wish he would just get out! He is just wasting more time by staying here. P.S. I love the gas idea, although I think it would upset my tummy
TravelLight Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Tell him your moving out. That will force his hand. If it doesn't then move out for real. You broke up with him so really you should go anyway.
ddnnee Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 huh? ok so he said he's not happy with you and he's pissed and left to ca for a week. during that time, u were pissed and have decided to breakup instead of figuring out how to fix the problem. Also you quickly rebounded by having a guy already while it seems like he does not. Seems like he is mad at you for breaking up instead of trying to resolve the problem. I think since you broke up, you should move... and since you found the new guy, you can move in with him! hitting two stones with one bird! but... if you own most of the stuff there, then its more of your apartment. tough call. Still you can always move out with the new guy and you will leave him with nothing. He can stay in that apartment by himself with nothing.
climbergirl Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 Tricky situation.........legally, at least from my experience, if a person has been living with you AND contributing then you must give them notice and 30 days to leave. With a lease, though, I believe that you (or he-if he's the one to leave) are responsible for your portion of the remaining lease if you move out-unless, you can find another roommate for him. How much time is left in your lease?
SoleMate Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 You really need legal advice related to eviction, breaking leases, etc. This has gone from a relationship issue to a tenant/landlord/contract law matter. When is the lease up, and do you want to keep the apartment, or would you prefer to be out of there? By the way, good on ya for deciding to finalize the breakup after his tasteless proposal for you to keep living together. I think he meant that he enjoyed the housework you do on his behalf, not to mention use of your household goods. Blah on him...
RecordProducer Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 huh? ok so he said he's not happy with you and he's pissed and left to ca for a week. during that time, u were pissed and have decided to breakup instead of figuring out how to fix the problem. Also you quickly rebounded by having a guy already while it seems like he does not. Seems like he is mad at you for breaking up instead of trying to resolve the problem. I think since you broke up, you should move... and since you found the new guy, you can move in with him! hitting two stones with one bird! but... if you own most of the stuff there, then its more of your apartment. tough call. Still you can always move out with the new guy and you will leave him with nothing. He can stay in that apartment by himself with nothing. Everything you wrote here is totally not related to what the original poster said about her situation.
Author Jadore Posted April 25, 2006 Author Posted April 25, 2006 I was being quite vague on our actual relationship problem because I thought the focus was getting my ex to move out. He broke up with me a LONG time ago before I officially called it off. If you must know, he told me once before that eventually he would leave to go off and be by himself to figure out "life". I asked him, "a week, a month? a few years?" and he told me he did not know. This issue was also brought up during our dinner time when he told me I don't make him happy. Now, here's my question: How is it reasonable for myself to live with the uncertainty of my lover leaving me at any given point? If he is not happy, why must I (when I try everything in my will to make him happy) wait around until he leaves me. Literally 97% of what is in our apartment is in fact mine. I don't believe I should move out because we moved to Portland together from California. I am in college full time and he is graduated. I have obligations, I have a job. He has nothing but a video game he plays all day. HE should move out. Thanks for the replies Also, I did want to work it out initially. I care about him. I told him I thought he was just wasting his time by staying with me in his every day routine. I told him we needed a break and during that time maybe he could go out and find what he was looking for. He got pissed, not me dude
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