cameryann Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 After being widowed for several years I've finally feel ready to date again. It's been a long time and I'm trying the Internet system. Why after having an initial meeting that lasts 3 hrs, you have a nice time,no lags and interesting conversation does the guy says I'll call you and doesn't. I'm older now and I know I'm rusty but I don't want to wonder whether he will or won't, I want to move on and not think about it. I'm not emotionally invested so he's not going to hurt my feelings. Why not just say something like, "nice meeting you but I don't feel the click?" I really don't want to play the head games. Can anyone enlighten me....PLEASE!
westernxer Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I really don't want to play the head games. Can anyone enlighten me....PLEASE! Widow or not, the head games never change, no matter how long it's been.
penkitten Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 they say ill call you and it means i might get around to calling you sometime before i die. its nicer than "we dont click." so to be on the safe side, you be the one that says ill call you sometime first. then dont. let him worry about the head games and call you .
Author cameryann Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 I don't want to play anymore:( Maybe next time someone says that I'll reply don't say it if you don't mean. Thanks for yr imput.
luvtoto Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 If you are going to go with online dating, you better get thicker skin. It's brutal. If I ever decide to try dating online again, I will use your '...I don't feel the click' phrase. I used to ignore emails from guys I wasn't interested in. A couple days later, I would get get a nasty-gram from them pissed off cause I didn't bother to reply to their advances.
Author cameryann Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 I don't think it's nicer. I'd prefer the truth. But yr right I can turn the tables and say it first. Thick skin is not my problem because after one meeting I'm not emotionally invested, I just don't like not knowing ( maybe i'm a control freak). In NYC internet is really the only way if you don't do the club scene. I know what you mean about those nasty-grams, some guys just can't tolerate a scratch to their ego.
Curmudgeon Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I wonder why you'd try Internet dating since that can be fraught with so many dangers and disappointments. In my experience, the old-fashioned way still works -- people with similar interests and those you can meet in the real world.
MadDog Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 I don't want to play anymore:( Maybe next time someone says that I'll reply don't say it if you don't mean. Thanks for yr imput. Then if the guy was really intending to call you, he'll think you're a woman with issues and not call you.
Author cameryann Posted April 24, 2006 Author Posted April 24, 2006 I certainly won't want anyone to think I have issues. On this coast or maybe particularly in this city, the old fashion way doesn't happen very often. My male friends from my support group have lots of offers for blind dates or to be the extra guy at a party. Not so for the women in the group. The issue isn't really how you meet someone but how to deal with the awkwardness of ending the first meeting if there isn't instant chemistry. From what I hear and from my new limited experience there have to be instant fireworks. That's great, but sometimes it takes more than once. I just want honesty, I can polite tell someone I don't think were a match, why can't a man?
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