msspears33 Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 [COLOR=black]Hey everyone, I’m new to this site and just had a question for everyone.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]My bf and I started "dating" over a year ago. When we were not serious, I snooped through his "memory box" (I guess you could call it), and I found a picture of him and some chick in some compromising positions. Well I did not care then, we were no where near being a couple. Recently (we now live together and are happily in love), we had a discussion about keeping things from old relationships and stuff like that. We both agreed to get rid of all of our old stuff because it did not matter anymore. Well, being the curious cat that I am, I wanted to see if he got rid of those pics I mentioned earlier. Guess what? They are still there, and he even moved them to a different spot. I want to ask him about them, but how do I tell him that I looked through his stuff? Why would he want to keep them? I now find them repulsive and can't stop thinking about them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.[/COLOR]
westernxer Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 You should delete them. If he gets angry, you can accuse him of lying.
Author msspears33 Posted April 23, 2006 Author Posted April 23, 2006 They are physical pics, you think I should throw them away? Why do you think he is holding on to them?
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 I would just leave it alone. His past is his past, just like yours is your past. Does it really matter what he has in his box of memories? And is it really a threat right now? I think he WOULD be pissed off if you threw away the photo's. They aren't yours. Would you be pleased if he did that to you?
Alexandra Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 You seem reluctant to have a confrontation about it, evidently not necessarily one in which you'd admit you actively snooped, but one where you'd make it seem like an accident that you stumbled upon them. Since you don't seem to want to do that, I don't know what else would be appropriate, throwing them away sounds like it could be grounds for a fight as it will imply you skipped talking to him about it. As for why he keeps them that's a bit easier to decypher. You said "compromising" they're not just huggy lovey dovey pics, right? That seems to suggest they're connected to his sexual past more than to his romantical past, at times that's the one that counts more to men. Chances are he's not keeping them because he misses the woman in the photo but because they remind him of a time when he was a man, it's an ego ride probably nothing more.
Author msspears33 Posted April 23, 2006 Author Posted April 23, 2006 You're right, I won't throw them away, I just want to know why he has kept them. I mean, after we have this conversation about those old things not being important blah blah blah, and he got rid of everthing else (I think), why would he hold on to those? It makes me feel like he still has feelings for her or something.
2sunny Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 Even IF he got rid of the photos, he still has it as a memory in his mind! You cannot expect to take away memories from anyone, LET IT GO! It is the past, who cares, he isn't with her anymore. If he chose to be with her, he wouldn't be with you....
Author msspears33 Posted April 23, 2006 Author Posted April 23, 2006 Huh, I guess you guys are right, I'm just being paranoid. I would just feel better if they were gone, ya know? I'll probably try to find a way to bring it up indirectly. Thanks everyone!
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 You're right, I won't throw them away, I just want to know why he has kept them. I mean, after we have this conversation about those old things not being important blah blah blah, and he got rid of everthing else (I think), why would he hold on to those? It makes me feel like he still has feelings for her or something. Because it's part of his past. Just because he is with you now doesn't mean he has to get rid of EVERYTHING from his past, which could remind him of someone special. What if he has a great tshirt, or a jacket that his ex gave him - And then you found out about it. Are you going to ask him to throw it or give it away so you won't feel hurt/jealous/insecure? I just think you need to trust him more and not concentrate so much on his past relationships. If he is talking to them or seeing them on a regular basis, then yes, you have a real reason to be upset, but pictures in a box? Let it go....
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