Was I drugged by my bf or was it just the alcohol?

[newbby]

She'd be better off finding a skilled counsellor in her area so that she and discuss this matter in a safe, objective and non-hysterical environment.

yes true, and or a womens support organisation.

[newbby]

I really didn't mean to insult her, and I think I said so in my post. It's just so awful. At this point, I would rather she be making it up. No one should be where she is, dealing with all of that. The hair dying thing is SUPER scary. Kidnappers usually dye their victim's hair to make them less recognizable. Terrifying.

well considering that everyone she knows has seen her hair, i dont think kidnapping concerns are likely. however, she does need to speak to somebody else as lindya suggested.

[Mz. Pixie]

I just can't imagine being in that situation and not getting out. I feel bad for anyone who is that beaten down mentally that they cannot get out.

 

She definitely needs professional help.

[2sunny]

I think it's good if she's (hopefully) is using this time for reflection on the right form of action to take at this point.

 

She needs to decide what's best for herself....

[typical]

This is starting to sound eerily like a "mind control" or "truth serum" drug....In and out of all her posts she speaks about him talking to her, a normal conversation, but dream like (because she is drugged, that is why these very real conversations have a "dream like" quality to them).....I am starting to suspect that he is using that drug on her, obviously some drug, but his intentions are for COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE CONTROL.....he is digging into her subconcious, probing, examining, socking away information.....

 

Way back when this thread started, you made references to the fact that at the beginning, you would feel sick and weird and numb, tired feeling while at his house (but no black outs)...I believe that was him testing your body chemistry to see how sensitive you were to the drug, how much to give you to knock you out, but not kill you (at least not yet)...each time he put a little more, until he finally suceeded in putting you under....

 

My first thought was that he was videotaping your confessions to use against you at a later date...my second thought was that he was definately having sex with you, and possibly profiting off of you by letting strange men come in and have sex with you while you were in your black out state, having them pay him for the use of your body, and video taping it...my third thought was that it was all of this, him video taping your confessions, the sexscapades, everything....he seems to enjoy what your money can do for him, so why not profit off of it??!

 

This morbid mystery already has you locked and engaged, like a moth to a flame you are drawn to it...I know that you are not going to "get out now"...or "call the police"....nothing mundane and boring like that for you....its too dangerous and exciting to quit while you still have your precious life.......you are going to keep playing the game until you find out the answers.....or die trying, I guess....I dont know why this allure is so great for you that you are willing to risk it all....but it must be the ultimate game for you.....so here is my advice:

 

first let me say this: YOU NEED TO GET OUT, GET HELP, GO ANYWHERE BUT WITH THIS SICK TWISTED MANIACAL FRUIT LOOP....RUN AWAY, GET IN YOUR CAR AND GO....GET PROTECTION...HE IS VERY DEVIOUS AND SICK AND YOU ARE IN DANGER, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?????????!!!!

 

Okay, that was a waste of letters, but I had to get it off my chest....

That being said, I suggest that you plant any kind of device, whether listening, or video recording in his house...for the inevitable next time. Then you will have all the proof you need to take to the police, plus you will have the itch of "what is he doing to me" scratched. Why not? You are only waiting around for him to drug you and use your body and mind...you may as well get some of those questions floating around in your head answered.

 

Also, snoop. Dig around, uncover things. Get on the computer and pay to have a backround search done on him, find out as much as you can.

 

My questions for you:

 

*Is there some reason why you cannot buy a voice recorder? They sell them at walmart. The video recording, I am not sure.

 

*What is his attitude like with you when you are not doped up?

 

*Do you understand that if he is indeed drugging you, that you are in danger????? (Never mind the whole "yes but I just cant believe he is doing this blah blah blah....) Do you understand that unwillingly drugging someone is harmful to their health? What if he slips up and gives you too much...what if he does that ON PURPOSE one day....

[BeFree]

HCG has been a regular poster on LS for a while now. Someone in an earlier post said "nobody here's judging you". Whilst that would be lovely, it's a bit idealistic. Some people are accusing her of making it all up, others are giving priority to their own anxiety/desire to know more and placing pressure on her to keep this forum updated.

 

She'd be better off finding a skilled counsellor in her area so that she and discuss this matter in a safe, objective and non-hysterical environment.

 

 

I meant that none of us that are regulars and know she is not just posting for attention are judging her. I can't speak for those who may not know her past post. Just trying to be supportive!

[Mz. Pixie]

She's not a troll unless someone has accessed her account and it's not really her posting....

 

I'm afraid that one day he will give her too much and she's going to die. When they check her computer information they will find records to this site and it will be on the news. Just like the Myspace things.

[alphamale]

I'm afraid that one day he will give her too much and she's going to die. When they check her computer information they will find records to this site and it will be on the news. Just like the Myspace things.

so then are we going to have to testify at the court trial? I can see my testimony now:

 

"yes your honor, I logged onto LS on Sunday nite, april 23rd, 2006 and HCG was openly distraught....it was terrible....my fingers quivered as I typed...."

[typical]

I am pretty sure that if she does hide a recording device and finds out what he is really up to, she will leave him and might even go to the police.....right now it is all wild speculations, but if she were to ever see in reality IF indeed those wild speculations were true, and he was drugging her while 15 dudes piled on top of her,while her BF watched, she would freak the f*** out for sure, and take it to the police...

 

Right now, she is romanticizing this as his role as a Dark Prince....everything is fine according to her....as long as he isnt drugging her with the intent and purpose of other people using her, but only for his selfish gain...his selfish gain being her...then everything is fine....but let her find out that his intentions are less than obsessive for her, and she will hit the roof, and call the law....

 

HCG, Buy a recording device of some sort. Find out what sick crap he is doing to you, and then call the law on his a$$....

[lindya]

This is starting to sound eerily like a "mind control" or "truth serum" drug....In and out of all her posts she speaks about him talking to her, a normal conversation, but dream like (because she is drugged, that is why these very real conversations have a "dream like" quality to them).....I am starting to suspect that he is using that drug on her, obviously some drug, but his intentions are for COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE CONTROL.....he is digging into her subconcious, probing, examining, socking away information.....

 

I'll call the FBI, you start googling "Robocop costumes for hire".

[Mary3]

This Op is NOT acting like a REAL abused victim .

 

I was ( 9 years ago ) locked into a hellish relationship which I KNEW was not right and sought outside help in the form of the Battered Womens Shelter. Yes it took TIME but I did get help. Little by little . What has the OP Done ?? After all these posts ?? What ??

 

In Mine : I RESEARCHED everything I could . I worked diligantly to find a way OUT !

 

This poster is screwy ( if you noticed ) ....when she NEVER says AT ALL " I think he is hurting me. I think he is taking money. I think he is doing things to me that I am not aware of . I think he is WRONG." She never really says this but SUGGESTS it to us and then balks IT ALL OFF when we confirm out suspicions ! She does not say THIS CAN BE OCCURING AND expressing TRUE FEAR to us.

 

You NEVER hear that !

 

You hear something this : " Well when I begged for toilet paper after I had diahrrea and messed myself , he made me walk 15 feet to the linen closet where we keep the toilet paper. He told me I could not wipe until it crusted and dried so because he knows what he is talking about, I just wiped like a good girl when he told me. He allowed me to back to my room where he said if I asked please 4 times, he would allow me a glass of water. I mean he really is a good guy overall , even though now I have a rash on my anus ",

 

The PROBLEM with her posts is that women who are abused KNOW It ....even at a gut level. They KNOW it and they tried to ( after facing it and wanting to get out ) do everything they can to reach out. Yes it takes time but unless you are a blithering drugged up idiot you know it ! Now if she is being nardicated on a continual basis daily then THIS is the only explanation.! But she types SO well....goes to some functions. Speaking of the function. I found it UNBELIEVABLE that she had to run outside during the reception and take numerous calls from this nut case and there was no FOOOD ??? Were these people too poor to provide food ? Did I miss something here ??

 

This OP has done NOTHING. She posts and then waits a few days and posts another BIZARRE post. " I sipped on this one a little bit just to see what would happen and then I felt strangely tired :" Thats AFTER multiple offers of drinks on past occasions which ALL made her feel drugged. I am sorry but I DO NOT BELIEVE ANYONE ON THIS EARTH WOULD have * sipped a little * knowing what she did.

 

The poster may just be Paranoid Skitzophrenic and this would explain EVERYTHING. Being suspicious that people are doing things to you, things behind your back. Some times auditory voices are heard but she may just be delusional.

 

Let me tell you if my SO were trying to DRUG me and I thought so and I POSTED here on Love Shack and I were SERIOUSLY in trouble I would be hanging on to YOUR WORDS with my LIFE ! I would TRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY to listen and find different ways to get out, get safe and get help.

 

This is total BULLsh$%!! unless the *boyfriend* is signing on and posting this crap.

 

IF he isn't and she IS posting and just lives in la la land and does NOT really respond to ( and you notice she doesn't ) not really anyway...then we have someone in psychosis who is either drugged or making this up because God only knows why.,

 

I just sit back and wait now. The post is no longer that entertaining. Its a sick cry for attention but sadly not in a HEALTHY way

 

WAKE up.

 

Like the previous poster said Wake. The. F. up !

 

THat was more meant for the members now.

 

I dont expect her to wake up and use any kind of rationalization.

 

This abuse is beyond the scope of the norm.

[lindya]

This Op is NOT acting like a REAL abused victim .

 

And here we have it. This is why, contrary to their beliefs, people who are ridden down with their own issues don't make good advice givers.

 

I was ( 9 years ago ) locked into a hellish relationship which I KNEW was not right and sought outside help in the form of the Battered Womens Shelter. Yes it took TIME but I did get help. Little by little . What has the OP Done ?? After all these posts ?? What ??

 

Do HCG's situation and reactions have to mirror yours in order for her to have any credibility as "a person with a problem"?

 

This poster is screwy

 

I'd say "screwy" is a word that's far more applicable to some of the people who've dived in with all sorts of lurid conspiracy theories and gibberish (note to others who have posted sanely and supportively on this thread, I'm certainly not talking about everyone here).

 

The poster may just be Paranoid Skitzophrenic

 

Oh just stop it. If you can't even spell the condition, for God's sake stop trying to diagnose other people as having it.

 

I just sit back and wait now. The post is no longer that entertaining

.

 

How delightful.

 

This abuse is beyond the scope of the norm.

 

Is that a reference to your own post, Mary? If so, I thoroughly agree.

[TeaCooler]

just for the record, regular members can be trolls too. just because someone has been here a long time does not mean everything they have ever said is the absolute truth, or that they don't get bored and decide to spice things up.

 

in this case, i do classify this thread as dubious, simply because of the way it is being delivered. just my opinion.

[Touche]

And here we have it. This is why, contrary to their beliefs, people who are ridden down with their own issues don't make good advice givers.

 

 

 

Do HCG's situation and reactions have to mirror yours in order for her to have any credibility as "a person with a problem"?

 

 

 

I'd say "screwy" is a word that's far more applicable to some of the people who've dived in with all sorts of lurid conspiracy theories and gibberish (note to others who have posted sanely and supportively on this thread, I'm certainly not talking about everyone here).

 

 

 

Oh just stop it. If you can't even spell the condition, for God's sake stop trying to diagnose other people as having it.

 

.

 

How delightful.

 

 

 

Is that a reference to your own post, Mary? If so, I thoroughly agree.

 

Completely agree with your post Lyndia even though I myself have questioned the credibility of the poster a little as of late. There's a way to express that doubt and this just isn't it.

 

Also, did anyone else find that entire diarrhea analogy a little...well, "off?" Or should I use the poster's own word and say "screwy?"

[typical]

I'll call the FBI, you start googling "Robocop costumes for hire".

 

:lmao:

 

My theories are just as outlandish as the Original Posters thread.

 

Of course I have let my imagination run rampant.....as have some of us....what could one expect?! This whole post is morbid and macabe(?)....One cant help but to become just as tangled up in theories as the actual story....besides, as some posters say, she doesnt seem to be listening to our advice.....

 

Well after she started this thread, and we responded with horror, she went to his house over the weekend and actually *sipped* on some concoction that he gave her!

 

WHY?

 

She and the rest of us were well aware that he was drugging her by then......yet she still drank the elixir?

 

I get that she didnt want to appear that she was turning it down, but could she not have said that she has a stomach ache, she doesnt want any right now? Why would that have seemed rude or bizarre to her BF?

 

Or she could of taken it with her to another room and dumped it out...in the toilet, out the window, the sink, in a plant, or just put it down and *forgot* to drink it.....Anything to avoid being drugged again. If I thought my BF was even getting ideas about doing that, I wouldnt be drinking or eating anything at his house any time soon.......

Another thought.....she knew she was going over his house, and the possibility arose that he would give her some concoction, and she was worried about possibly refusing it, she could of simply brought her own drink with her...thus eliminating being rude, appearing weird, anything but to drink his drink...

 

Can anyone blame me for letting my imagination run wild?

 

What is left to do?

[Walk]

I have a few thoughts on what HCG posted about her bf and her reasons why she questions the abuse. If she's normally a people pleaser, and if its really important to her that she make others happy, then many of the things he "makes" her do she could be telling herself that she wants to do them for him. So she wouldn't see it as wrong really... uncomfortable for her...but that would be secondary to what her SO would want.

 

For instance...having to stay outside to answer his calls while at the reception. I could be off base, but I didn't get the feeling that she was doing so because of immenient physical abuse... but she didn't want to make him upset. So she stayed outside in order to "keep the peace". It could be that she's seeing this as her choice to do this, even though it was to avoid making him mad. And in the end she felt it was worth it because although she didn't get to enjoy the reception, she "pleased" him by answering, and then he was even more happy when he saw her hair later that day. She felt rewarded for doing as he says. Reward/punishment. Shock a rat for eating the food pellet enough and they stop eating... It's not done overnight... its a slow unseen process. And it leaves the person feeling crazed and questioning every feeling they have. Not knowing who to trust or what to believe. So if she sounds psychotic... it's probably because she's feeling crazy. Don't push her away for it... Just restate the facts... show her the links to check out. Throw her the life line and allow her to take it. But yelling and questioning her sanity is a rather moot point. Like she doesnt' have enough of that in her life right now. She's avoiding anything that makes him upset, she'll avoid anything on here that will cause people to be upset. She won't talk to her family for fear of making them upset and having them question her mental state. She needs a safe place to go. Somewhere where she can talk, and not be judged. Where she can get guidance, but not hostility for her thoughts or feelings.

 

Reality often threatens our self-esteem. Stress and anxiety from fear of failure, disappointment, rejection abound. The ego is constantly bombarded with conflicts, frustrations and pressures to perform, creating emotional discomfort and anxiety that is very real. The ego must deal with reality and must reduce anxiety to protect the health and sanity of the person who cannot remain anxious for a long period of time.

The ego maintains our mental health and sanity by reducing anxiety. If it cannot reduce stress by directly coping with reality, it will indirectly cope by defensively denying and distorting reality. The adaptive value of a defense mechanism depends on many situational and personal variables. Although not inherently bad, we must evaluate their use in coping with stress according to the degree to which they distort reality and the degree to which they prevent more constructive coping mechanisms.

 

HCG needs to educate herself on the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse and blackmailing first. This isn't as black and white to her as it is to the posters on here. She doesn't see it for several reasons, one of those is listed above. You add more stress to the situation, she'll withdraw further and further away. Which she's done. The only person who can "rescue" her is herself. But she needs a safe place to go to when she questions her sanity, an educated person to talk to about the feelings she has, and a place where she knows she won't be judged, criticised or bashed for her actions, thoughts, or feelings.

 

WE (myself included) have not done that for her. So if anyone failed in this situation, it is us.

[Mz. Pixie]

Mary- I got what you were trying to say.

[typical]

mary3: I just sit back and wait now. The post is no longer that entertaining .

lindya:

 

How delightful.

 

:lmao:

 

 

Walk,

 

I understand completely where you are coming from.....but the truth is, some posters WERE completely supportive of her at the beginning and she still pulled the disappearing hat trick....and then returned only to say that she spent the weekend with him AND drank his elixir......

 

HCG.......please return and tell us how you are doing.....even if it is only a couple of short sentences.....

[blind_otter]

I've known people, including myself, who bent over backwards to please their abusive partner or not rock the boat. I'm not going to give advice and then get angry that she doesn't take it. It's her choice. It's her life.

 

Why get angry with someone because they are doing something you think is hurting them? It's her choice to hurt.

[Touche]

:lmao:

 

 

Walk,

 

I understand completely where you are coming from.....but the truth is, some posters WERE completely supportive of her at the beginning and she still pulled the disappearing hat trick....and then returned only to say that she spent the weekend with him AND drank his elixir......

 

HCG.......please return and tell us how you are doing.....even if it is only a couple of short sentences.....

 

I know this is off-topic (I mean haven't we beaten this thing to death..damn..bad choice of words!) but everytime you say "elixir" I can't stop laughing! I think of an elixir as a healthful drink, like a restorative cure or something. Cracks me up.

 

Maybe it's just me!

[typical]

I think of an elixir as a healthful drink, like a restorative cure or something. Cracks me up.

 

Maybe it's just me!

 

When I think of elixir, I think of a sinister man rubbing his hands together in a delightfully twisted way and then serving it to her while laughing maniacally.....

 

and i also think of a healthy juice concoction with a piece of celery as well....but mainly the other thought first...

 

 

I think the most alarming thing about all of this is the nonchalant way HCG has been taking this......perhaps this is what is truly fueling our fury.....

 

Because we all know (and some have learned, through horrid abuse of their own) what COULD happen to her, and that idea is making us nervous and angry......we dont want her to be blind to the fact that he has the potential to really do some damage to her.....

 

Do you guys think she will know when its time to get going? Like if s*** starts going down, do you think she will be smart enough to get out before its too late??

[Walk]

Walk,

 

I understand completely where you are coming from.....but the truth is, some posters WERE completely supportive of her at the beginning and she still pulled the disappearing hat trick....and then returned only to say that she spent the weekend with him AND drank his elixir......

 

I'm questioning the length of time we gave her for her to "wake up". And although initially supportive, it wasn't long for posters to change their tune.

[whichwayisup]

Who are we all to say if it has happened or not. We don't know her offline at all!

I just can't see her lying and making this up due to her past posts...This has been building for a while. Either way, it's an unhealthy and abusive relationship and she must gain the strength somehow to leave him.

[Art_Critic]

Who are we all to say if it has happened or not. We don't know her offline at all!

I just can't see her lying and making this up due to her past posts...This has been building for a while.

 

Double.. no make that a triple... WORD..

 

Just get off her ass people .. Sometimes being judgmental is a curse you know

[blind_otter]

Double.. no make that a triple... WORD..

 

Just get off her ass people .. Sometimes being judgmental is a curse you know

 

Oh but we're all judgemental!

 

I keep hearing that and I think that's a BS excuse. There's degrees of being judgemental, and judging someone you don't even know for stuff that may or may not have occurred is excessive.

 

But I'm judging people for judging judgement. Whatever.