Guest Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I will start out by explaining my situation: Married will be 8 years. Together for 13. (started dating when I was 17) Have 3 kids. Husband visited massage parlor 2X. (swears nothing happended) Lied to me when caught. Told me it was for a "problem" he had. I felt bad, forgave, moved on somewhat. Last year, he visited VIP room at strip club. (swears again nothing happened) Confessed the above previous situation was a lie (still swears that nothing happened) never had a "problem". Took me a year, but gradually fell out of love with him. I can not trust that this will never happen again. I can not get past it. I feel so betrayed. We are seeking counseling. Swears he will become a changed man. I forgave once, took a lot for me to do, found out that it was all based on a lie, absolutly devisted me. I can not trust myself to trust him again. I do not ever want to do that to myself again. I feel so bad that I can not put it past me. Feel bad for my kids putting them in this situation. Some people tell me I am overreacting. Others say I should be proud that I am being strong and standing my ground. Started fighting a lot. I absolutly resent him for ruining what we had. Yesterday he moved out. Went a lot better than planned. Still very scared of the unknown. Any advice?
Scott S Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 You certainly have the right to decide what you consider acceptable & unacceptable in a marriage. I suspect that this is merely symptomatic of much larger underlying issues, though. While you may object, one doesn't generally end a relationship for simply having visited a gentlemens club a year ago. So a lot more information would be useful in giving more specific advice. So you are in counseling, which is good. The decision (which you may not yet be ready to make) will be whether you believe you are better off with or without him, & in case of the former, what & how much are you willing to put up with. ________________________________________ If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. - Yogi Berra
Scott S Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 I just now saw your earlier thread. It appears my comments concur with the previous advice, though.
Mistaken Identity Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 The unknown is less scary as it becomes known. I never thought I could raise two kids on my own after I separated from my husband, but I'm doing it. So, it can be done! Is your husband a sex addict? Is it possible there's more going on than you know?
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