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In the friend zone..I want out..I want him !


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Posted

I use to post on here when I was in a 3yr relationship. That broke off because he wasn't in love with me anymore and didn't want to get married. That happened in October.

 

Before that, I met a guy whom I was instantly attracted to. We have been going to school together for 2 years and this will be our last semester together b/c we graduate. We have been friends and have gotten to be much closer friends from an experience we shared. We studied abroad together in England and bonded very much. We have been back for 3 weeks and I realize this is the person I want. I have been through some rebound/short lived things and dated and am now alone (but happy alone). The thing is, this guy and I have been heavily flirting for ever and he calls atleast 2 or 3 times a week. But we usually talk about our bad dates and how he wishes he could meet a nice girl who he has fun with, etc. We have a blast together..nonstop laughing...there is so much chemistry btwn us.

 

While in England he had a gfriend of 5 years (off and on). The broke it off because she cheated and blah blah so I know he is still rebounding some. But while we were in England (before they broke up) he asked me if I was attracted to him..and I said "well your just *his name*" because I didn't want him to know. And when I asked him he said he has always been thats why he has always flirted with me, but he couldn't cheat on his gfriend (I would never have wanted him to). I just don't want to be a rebound for him. I want it to be real if we do something.

 

Now he (in such a non romantic.."so are you going to go to this thing with me or what?" way) asked me to be his date for a ceremony in which he recieves an award. I went out and bought a new dress, shoes, the works. I want him to see me in a different light.

 

My family says that he doesn't think I want him so thats why he's treating me like a friend and that I need to make some kind of more than subtle move (kiss?)

 

I have read to many relationship books and think if he really wanted me he would pursue me for more than a friend.

 

So what should I do on our "date?" How do you think this guy feels about me? Help!!!

Posted

My advice, wich is subtle:

 

Sit on the couch together,watching a movie or something. Instead of going for a kiss right away, touch his hand (make it appear accidental). trythat a few times, if he doesn't pull away its time to lay your hand on his, and build it up to holding hands.

 

Next step would be a kiss, again using a subtle approach.

 

If you use the hand trick to test the waters, you can easily pull out if he's not interested without making a fool out of yourself or ruining the friendship.

 

I never beleived in friends first, dating later. If I get into the friendszone I'm gone ;)

Posted

I've also never quit warmed up to that whole friends first deal but people are different. It seems like he wants more than friendship but don't chase him openly. Spend 'special momnets' with him and give him the chance to chase you

Posted

My advice is more direct: the very next time he's seems flirty and you're within the proper distance to do so, just kiss him and see what happens.

 

Good Luck and Happy Graduation,

Roxy

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