jhurtinct Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I went back to my SO home (the house we moved into together), we have a 4yr old son who moved out with my. After a month we started dating again after about 4-5 months my son and I moved back, we went to couseling things were good. Now after not even 4 months of being home, he tells me things aren't working out and never will he is done trying. He blamed me saying the 2 thngs he has asked of me for approx. 5 yrs now were to dress sexy for him once in a while and to start sex once in awhile. I am not very secure with myself ( he doesn't help ). For some reason when we are not together I do my self up and lose weight very fast ( due to not eating due to beign sick and devesated ) and we end up back together then I for some reason return to the slump, sweats and pjs all the time and I put that weight right back on so there goes the sex life. I know there is something wrong with me and that is my fault I just don't know why. Any suggestions? So after he told me he's done trying he said you can stay hear as long as you want I'll move into the other bedroom (which he hasn't). I am totally heart broken, I want it to work he is my life, I can't go back and forth with my son again and if we do leave the only place I have to go is back with my mom and brother. I have 1 big dog, 2 cats, 2 birds and very little income. It would absolutely tear my mothers life up they already have a big dog, It would tear my son apart completely. So many peoples lives will be wrecked. All because I wanted to try again. I need to know how to live with him and not be with him and what can I do I am really torn up right now never so unsure of what to do. Thank you in advance for your help, it is sooo much needed.
Author jhurtinct Posted April 22, 2006 Author Posted April 22, 2006 Right now he is in the other room watching tv I keep trying to make small talk I don't want to bring anything up, I am just trying to sit here with my mouth closed about us, I guess just hoping it will go away. this hurts and is sooooo uncomfortable doesn't anyone have some sort of advice to help me through, what is the best way to live together while seperated?
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 You said something interesting...About when you're not with him you dress up and feel good, lose abit of weight, yet when you're living with him, the opposite happens. This is your gut speaking to you. He isn't right for you, even though you've been together for so long...You seem happier, maybe more at peace when you're not there. That says alot. Take some time for YOU and figure out what is best for you and your son.
Author jhurtinct Posted April 22, 2006 Author Posted April 22, 2006 thank you, I am starting to think something is seriously wrong with me because I keep hoping for the best and I don't think he will ever change, yet I stick around with the hopes it will get better. Its like I'm addicted to a drug or something.
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 You're inlove. The feelings you have for him are strong and it IS hard to be objective when you're in the situation. There's nothing wrong with you. And, people don't change that often, they learn how to compromise and also learn how to let things roll on by. Give it afew days and see what happens. I think sticking to counselling is a good idea, so I hope he still goes with you.
Author jhurtinct Posted April 22, 2006 Author Posted April 22, 2006 Last night was great(sarcasum) he never left he stayed home, we went to bed and small talk was all that happened. Nothing that meant anything at all. But at least it was civil. He is bringing his cell phone everywhere in the house with him (bad sign huh). I will probably post here all day to try and keep my mind occcupied. Does anyone out there have a situation where you are living together but spererated and how do you do it. What's my best approach? He should be leaving soon, when he finishes getting dressed up and showerd and smelling good. Its killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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