Meaplus3 Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I am trying to figure out what to do about the affair I have been involved in. Started as an E/A and it feels like right now it had turned into a full blown affair. I have been trying so hard to walk away from this and when I do for day's I am so hurt! How long does it take for the hurt to go away? I thought this whole thing was so harmless to start and now I see how very bad these thing's can be. I have to work on my marriage but I keep thinking about this MM and it's so distracting. I feel like I should have never had the feeling's I have had from the start. I know they are wrong, but when he hug's me and we talk it feels so good. How do you put all your feeling's aside and re- focus on your marriage. Would love any advice. Thank's.
Walking away Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 It is a difficult thing to extricate yourself from an affair. I am doing it and it is incredibly difficult although I see myself as a strong individual. It is going to take a tremendous amount of self control as it is difficult to walk away from a relationship where you still have feelings for the OP. I cannot tell you how that is going to be for you, as every person is different in their tolerance to pain... It is a difficult path you walk. Many of us have walked it and it hurts. There really is no way around it...just to walk through it. We are here to support you in your quest for emotional freedom. Hugs to you.
Mixedup Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 God I am in the same situation as well and its making me question whether I really give my marriage ago. I can not stop my feelings for this other man, See I said I would leave my husband but he cant leave his wife. It hurts so much and I have no choice but to walk away even though he keeps contacting me telling me he loves me. It is so hard as I love this man dearly. I have never experienced this much hurt ever. It will just take time, a long time. I suggest no contact, that is the key. Good luck.
confusedlady Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I feel the same way it is so hard to just walk away. It feels as this is an addiction and you can't let go. I'm in the same situation I know that I have to walk away I know that is the best thing to do but it's not easy. One thing I do know is that I don't want to ever get involved with a MM again it's not worth the pain.
Sami_D Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 My thoughts? Because you're looking at a relationship where the man offers you so much (potentially), 'can't' deliver (at the moment) because of things 'beyond his control' that show him to be caring and responsible (kids, wife he 'owes a duty to' or whatever), can 'love you' so so so much and always leave you wanting more (ha!), and can love you as openly, and declaringly (IF ONLY! OH what I could give you!!!... yeah... IF) as any man ever did. AND... the MM don't want it to end... so they keep trying to please you just as much as you need to be pleased... WHEN did any other R go this way? So of course it's hard to turn your back on all that.
Author Meaplus3 Posted April 22, 2006 Author Posted April 22, 2006 I feel the same way it is so hard to just walk away. It feels as this is an addiction and you can't let go. I'm in the same situation I know that I have to walk away I know that is the best thing to do but it's not easy. One thing I do know is that I don't want to ever get involved with a MM again it's not worth the pain. I completley agree with you about NEVER getting involoved with a MM again! I don't even know what I was thinking. My situation just sort of happened. I have known him for year's and we always had a good time together when we were simply friend's. We seem to think alike, both were very attracted to one another and so forth. With all these thing's in mind it made it so easy for me to fall for him. I have been the more agressive one here about trying to take thing's further, my overwhelming feeling's of affection for him almost got the best of me. We both know and have agreed that if we were to go to the next step (sex) then we would both for sure ruin our marriages, something that we both DO NOT want to happen. Knowing that nothing will ever come of all this I have walked away. I still think about him everyday and it's very hard not to when his hug's, smiles and chat's made me feel like a QUEEN. I know he will miss all this affection and attention too, which makes it's even harder for me to wonder what he's thinking. I have learned a big lesson from all this! Never to let myself get to close to any other man again, escpecially a MM with a wife and chilldren.
disheartenend Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Hi, I am feeling the same devastation in a similar situation. I want to move on and get over this man so badly, but my heart doesn't seem to want to cooperate. I can't stop thinking about him. What helps you to cope?
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