alwayslate Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 All, I am sure you recall my earlier posts where I was struggling with my OW. Well, I finally cut all off all contact with her. No calls no emails, no nothing. On Monday, she told me that she could no longer live a double life that she had to end the romantic part of our relationship forever. Over the next couple of days, she emailed and called me "just to say hi". I then told her that while I understood that she could not continue the relationship, I told her that in addition to the romantic side of our relationship I had to end the entire thing. I told her that I was not willing to be firends with her with her knowing full well how I feel about her thereby giving her all the power. I told her that she was not to contact me except within the context of work and even then she should attempt to work things without my participation. Well since then she has emailed me explaining how hard this is for her and she is asking me "does it really have to be this way?" I really do love this woman but she broke my heart and I just cant go there again. Every time she emails me I cry but I have not answered her yet. I know that if I do I will be sucked back into it and then she will get the guilts and s*** on me all over again. I need to be strong and not respond to her no matter what she says but God I want to. I need to resist! Thanks for listening AL
My_Other_I Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 How did she break your heart? Do you have any empathy for what she is feeling about being OW? Unless you are getting a divorce, you are probably doing the right thing by cutting it off. Good luck.
whichwayisup Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 I hope you stick to it this time. This is exactly what happened before, you said No Contact, no calls, no emails and she completely disrespected your wishes. Kept on calling, emailing, pretending all was OK. She wanted you to listen to her and be a buddy. What has changed now? Are you really at your breaking point, like almost hating her? IF so, then STOP caring about her period. Start ignoring her on a personal level and don't slip back into old habits. Don't let her make you feel guilty! She knows how to play you like a fiddle and by letting her do that to you, she's making a FOOL of you!!! So, stop reacting AL! Just stop. Hang in there and most important - When you're at home and have down time DO NOT THINK OF HER AT ALL. NC means even those thoughts too!
Author alwayslate Posted April 21, 2006 Author Posted April 21, 2006 Yes I will. She thinks that by being sweet I will just fall back in line but she's wrong. I am going to get through this! I almost emailed her when I saw your post and it stopped me. I cant thank you enough. Why does she keep trying to contact me??????
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 Don't fall for it when she pours it on. I mean, she could just as easily turn something into a "crisis" and BEG for your help. TURN HER DOWN. She has a husband, so IF by chance she tries that crap on you, tell her to go to him and not to come to you at all with her personal stuff. Good or bad. She is trying to contact you because 1)out of habit. 2)She knows how to play you to get what she wants from you. 3) you're her ego feed and she's knows this! 4)She is addicted to some of the high drama/intensity of this situation. You can break it by not playing into her game! You can do this AM! I'm glad you read my post and it stopped you from making a big mistake! This is no joke. Everytime you feel the urge to email her, POST here on the site. Even go to the rant/confession section and do a rant there! You can swear and everything! Go nuts! As long as it prevents you from emailing her.
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