scottishgirl Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 hi there, im currently going through a divorce and want to move country to be with my new partner and also for a careeer move. if my ex decided that he wasnt happy what could he do? i mean i would be willing to allow as much access as possible and im not planning the move out of spite. one friend told me that as long as you had a place to live and would allow access it should be fine but another has said if my ex says no it cant be done. any ideas?
tinktronik Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 Check with the courts. First off what type of custody agreement do you have ? Even if you have primary custody your ex may be able to take you to court and you can be ordered not to remove your child from the state(in many states).I would check with an attorney before you do anything.
RecordProducer Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 The best for you would be to not tell your ex that you're moving at all. If he already knows, try to mislead him in terms of time or even say that you changed your mind. I know it doesn't sound kosher, but if he submits for custody, you won't have a right to take the child out of the country. You will have to wait for the whole court process to be finished in order that you leave freely. It might be long, costly, and painful, not to mention the chance of losing the case if he uses dirty tricks and lies to represent you as the worst mother ever. If you have custody officially and your child has a valid passport, you can legally take her or him with you. At the border of your country they might request to see your divorce decree and the document that proves you have custody over the kid. If you don't have immigrant visas, I recommend that you don't say at the border (of YOUR country) that you're moving permanently. I would state that we're coming back if I were you. otherwise they might request a signed and notarized approval from the father to immigrate with the child. You can be literally stopped at the border regardless of your expensive air tickets - it wouldn't be the first or the last time that it happened to somebody. At the border of the other country, they will only require passports and visas if applies to your case. Make sure you carry all your important documents with you! I don't know the laws in Scottland so consult a few competent people. The best would be to call the ones who will check you up, border police at the airport or which ever place you will cross the border at. Until your divorce and court's decision about custody is finalized, you will most likely not be able to move out legally. For as long as you're officially married, both parents' approval is required to take a minor child out of the country.
tinktronik Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 The best for you would be to not tell your ex that you're moving at all. If he already knows, try to mislead him in terms of time or even say that you changed your mind. I know it doesn't sound kosher, but if he submits for custody, you won't have a right to take the child out of the country. You will have to wait for the whole court process to be finished in order that you leave freely. It might be long, costly, and painful, not to mention the chance of losing the case if he uses dirty tricks and lies to represent you as the worst mother ever. . RP what your suggesting the OP do , Take off and lie about the dates ,is a dirty trick.There is a reason the courts are set up to not award anyone custody unill after the divorce is final.Do you not think it would be painful for the father of this child to have the OP lie and then run away with their child?
Pink_Tulip Posted April 23, 2006 Posted April 23, 2006 Just out of curiosity, why can't the bf move to be with you so you don't have to take the kids away from their father? If he is a good father, active in their lives, I don't really think its fair to take them away from him b/c of your personal relationship. How far away would they be? Would he only be able to see them a couple times a year for a week or two? Sorry, I guess I just believe when you have kids, that means you have chosen to make certain sacrifices for the next 18 years. And one of those sacrifices means you may have to give up a relationship or a job move to keep your children close to their father, whom they love and need. This is assuming, of course, he is a good dad. If he is a deadbeat, follow the advice above.
RecordProducer Posted April 24, 2006 Posted April 24, 2006 RP what your suggesting the OP do , Take off and lie about the dates ,is a dirty trick.There is a reason the courts are set up to not award anyone custody unill after the divorce is final.Do you not think it would be painful for the father of this child to have the OP lie and then run away with their child? No, before the divorce is final, she can't take the child out without his signature. But if she obtains custody (and most likely the father won't even fight for the kid), she will be able to get the child out of the country LEGALLY. Him trying to change the custody by starting a whole new process (or appeal) might slow down the whole procedure for many months and make it very expensive and annoying. Whether the father is just a jerk trying to stand in her way to happiness or he loves the kid is not up to me to determine. I am giving the mother the information, not the father. Which way she will use and how comfortable she is with dirty tricks (as well as how much her ex deserves it) is none of my business. I gave information at her disposal, not my moral viewpoint. I am sure she will appreciate your moral stand though.
clandestinidad Posted April 27, 2006 Posted April 27, 2006 I wouldnt recommend moving your child(ren) to another country, without getting approval beforehand from either the husband or court, to have a relationship with another person before your divorce is final. It would NOT look very good in court. Its my understanding that behavior like that will cause a judge to automatically give custody to the other parent. I dont know how these things work in Scotland, but thats what would probably happen in the U.S.
Roo-bie2 Posted April 29, 2006 Posted April 29, 2006 You need to look at your laws. In MO you are not suppose to move more than 50 miles. In other states it is different. You are wrong if you move with out telling. You could also loose custody of your child and end up in jail. I would also question the worth whileness of a man that wouldn't move to you for your child. Plus the long term effects on your child isn't worth it.
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