Big_A Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 My ex and I split two weeks ago. When she left, she travels for work, she said that we would try and work things out. Then she left and never called me. Last weekend she sent me a text message that said she wasn’t coming home that week end. She called once on Monday night, but I didn’t take the call. I’ve started moving her stuff into the garage and really had no idea when I was going to hear from her. Then I get an email from her telling me she was coming home tonight. Now I’m sure she’s met someone else at her job and she spent last weekend with him. I also am sure that this is going to be the conversation that finally ends it all. I don’t want to just sit here and wait for her. Is it ok if I act like I didn’t realize she was coming home and be out when she gets here? If she gets home at 8 and I make her wait until 11, is that cool?
Author Big_A Posted April 21, 2006 Author Posted April 21, 2006 I feel like it would throw off her game a little. Instead of me just sitting here waiting for her to come home and tell me off, she has to do it on my terms. I know it seems like playing games, and it probably is, but I've felt so powerless for these two weeks it seems like a way to take a little control of the situation.
Chinook Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Is it ok if I act like I didn’t realize she was coming home and be out when she gets here? If she gets home at 8 and I make her wait until 11, is that cool? But you're just going to prolong the inevitable. What's the point in that..? Plus if you're home later there will be less time to talk. She may not have spent the weekend with someone else, she may have just needed time to think and come to some conclusions. Give it a chance huh..?!
2sunny Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 I think under the circumstances, I would place her things by the front door and make sure NOT to be home while she was there. She's made it perfectly clear by her actions that she is removed physically and emotionally. Leave a note with her belongings wishing her well for the future....
a4a Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 I think under the circumstances, I would place her things by the front door and make sure NOT to be home while she was there. She's made it perfectly clear by her actions that she is removed physically and emotionally. Leave a note with her belongings wishing her well for the future.... Sounds like a much better plan to me as well.
KittenMoon Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Just a suggestion- you could split the difference- be home but be engaged in an activity that would force her to wait a few minutes for your attention. (Cooking, cleaning a closet, i don't know). I asked me ex to talk a few weeks after we split, a closure thing. He reluctantly agreed to come over the next morning. When he called has asked "Are you ready for me to come over?" I told him to wait a few minutes because I was in the middle of cleaning the litterbox! He was like "Uh, ...ok." I really was, but it made me feel a little better to show him I wasn't just staring at the phone waiting for him to ring.
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