Lost need some words of wisdom

[joshua1983]

Hey guys, I posted here a few weeks ago about my feelings for my girlfriend. To summarise, over the last couple of months we've had issues. Her ex coming back and making moves on her...and basically me being unsure whether I was in love with her. Anyway she told me last week she felt I didn't love her anymore. I tried to tell her I did, but she said that she didn't want to be with me anymore and broke up with me.

 

It feels really weird becase I'm not actually that upset. It's been a week surely it should have sunk in. I've spoken to her a few times and she seems really upset, even though SHE broke up with me. She's gone back home to Michigan, her parent's wedding anniversary or something.

 

Over the last few days, I've kinda semi looking forward to be single again. I pictured myself hooking up with other chicks and stuff (just the prospect of it). At the same time I have felt guilty about hurting her, she has examinations coming up (Brown exams aint easy lol), and I hope I haven't messed her up.

 

This morning I was convinced I was going to ask her back, I wanted to make it work out again. I spoke to her over MSN today and it did not go so well. As soon as I had convinced her it would work out, when she said ok lets try, I tried to convince her it wouldn't again. I know I sound like a bastard, but hey.

 

I don't know what I want right now, but I'm scared if i say that I say I am sure, I might end up hurting her bad & then if I do want her in the future, she won't come back. Anyway I decided to be honest and I told her I was unsure about my feelings.

 

There are other things that factor into it to. Right now she is the only thing in my life. All my friends are back home in Texas, and I'm in Rhode island working. This is going to sound really selfish, but I really do want to keep her in my life. But she says she can't be just friends & she was talking about giving all her stuff back to me etc etc, like everything is over.

 

Would it be wrong of me to say I love her and carry on our relationship? The problem is I am confused atm, when you are confused surely it means you are in love, but just going through a bad patch right? Am I a bad person? Should I give her space? I don't want her to think I'm giving her space for my own sake, and end up hating me. What do you guys reckon?

I know I care about her a lot, I don't want to hurt her.

 

Thanks

peace out

[mental_traveller]

Yeah it can be confusing when going through a bad patch. But as a rule of thumb, you should be making up quickly, like a day or two after a fight.

 

Also, personally I think you should never go back to someone after they ditch you. That's kind of a red flag!

 

Really it sounds like you still have some feelings, but it's not exactly the true romance of the century. Why not make a clean break, move on and date a bit? If you are meant to be together, then she'll come back to you later anyway.