JoeCamel Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Me and my ex g/f have been together since our sophmore year in highschool. My family had planed on moving away that summer so I thought things were not going to get serious between us. But as the months went by, we found ourselves falling in love with each other. Shortly after I moved, her and her family moved also. We decided to stay together because we both felt the sameway about each other. For a long time ever penny I made was to go see her. I would stay with her at x-mas and in the summer for a few months at a time. About 6 months ago I moved up there to continue school and be closer to her. We are both juniers in college now. I had moved up there with the intintion of marring her when things were looking up in my life and I had a good paying job. I had a dark secret about myself that I never told her though. I'v had a terrible family life filled with abuse, drugs, and alcohole. I never told her about it because I thought she would think thats how I would turn out. I had tried to tell her on several occassions but I could never go through with it. As we got closer together I began to shut down inside, and distance myself from her. And I never told her how I really felt about her and that I wanted to marry her. This past valentines day she told me her feelings were not all there anymore and that we should take a break for awhile. She said she had to look at her future and I never said anything about our future together. I didnt agree with it but it's what she wanted. She called me the next morning before I even woke up and told me that she was wrong, that her feelings were not all gone and to just give it time and we will back together. Well a few weeks went by like this. I started opening up to her more and we became closer than ever. She told me the break was making her realize that I was the one for her, and that she didn't need another b/f because she was busy with school and work. Well it was not a few weeks later that I found out that her and another guy had been going out on dates. I feel like this guy has the one up on me all the time. He lives in her same dorm and there both in the same fraternity. And its alot easier for her to make time for him. When I found out I was crushed. We started going downhill and she got to the point were she wouldnt even come see me or call me anymore. She told me she didnt need a b/f but she just wanted one. I'v naged her so much lately that I think I have drove her away completely. I moved back with my family to give her space for a while. Last week I told her about my home life, and that she was smart enough to realize what has been holding me back. She said no matter what I told her that it wouldnt change her feelings, and to just let gods will happen (she's a very religious person). She's also said its god will for her to see this other guy. She makes sure to tell me that were not meant to be at least for now. I told her when her mind changes she can call me and we can start over. I have not talked to her since. Thats my story in a nutshell. What I'm asking is it over for good or does she need space for awhile? Shes living the "college" life now and I think shes sees how much fun other couples are having and how I wasnt there for her the past few months. She truly is the love of my life and my soulmate. I was looking forward of taking care of her for the rest of my life. I just never told her those things untill recently. Thanks for your time.
kitten chick Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 She's also said its god will for her to see this other guy. That must have been crushing to hear. It would be hard for you to end the relationship but how can you be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Even worse, wants to be with someone else?
KittenMoon Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 She's also said its god will for her to see this other guy. Sweetheart, I don't want to be mean, but it's HER will, not God's that is making her see this other guys. Though I'm not religious, I was raised catholic and I've always been told that God gave us all free will to make our own choices. So unless she's got a talking, burning bush in her dorm room, well, you get the idea.
Author JoeCamel Posted April 22, 2006 Author Posted April 22, 2006 Well the only thing I can do now is to give her the space she needs. I guess the best things to do is the NC method for now untill she calls me or contacts me somehow. I just hope I have not blown it for good. Keep the advice coming I do appreciate it and it helps me out. I'll keep you all posted on how things work out. Thanks again.
ddnnee Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 it's over. just let her go. and even if you took her back... would you want her after learning that her heart for you is as stable as microsoft windows? besides, at this point in time, she has no feelings for you and even a second chance will not help any. once a girl loses her feelings, its over. you can try dating another girl. oh ya, important years in a girls life to remember: 14, 16, 18, 25, 35, 60 if she hits any of those ages or around those ages, her mentality and emotions will change and this includes changing out boys too.
MadDog Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 you can try dating another girl. oh ya, important years in a girls life to remember: 14, 16, 18, 25, 35, 60 if she hits any of those ages or around those ages, her mentality and emotions will change and this includes changing out boys too. So what are the changes during each of these milestones?
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