emmaUK Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 I am so upset..... i feel like drinkin myself to death. My Bf has dumped me again. he finished with me a few weeks back for a week n it nearly killed me.... i couldnt sleep or eat n all i did was cry non stop which isnt good as i have a 2year old daughter and she gets really upset seeing me cry. i am crying now as i type this coz my heart is hurting so much n it feels like my world has come crashing around me again. this time round it was ended coz it was my fault........... but i know wot a huge mistake i have made n i so desperatly want him to c this but he said i have taken it to far now and that he just cant be with me. he knows this guy at work and everything he tells me about him i really hate...... this guy lives in brixton (for those of u who dont know its a pretty rough area of london with lots of crime, drugs, muggins etc) he feels the need to boast about the fact he lives in brixton and goes on as if he's hard becasue of where he lives, he was boasting how he had been shot at and he boasts about the amount of canabis he can smoke. also my Ex sais that he knows that this guy exagerates stories to make himself look good. my ex sais that apart from all the bragging and exagerating stories.... this guy is actually an ok person............ but i really realyl dont like him from what i have heard about him ... n i jsut wanted to sheild my ex from him and i also felt my ex can do so much better then to get friendly with sum1 who he knows bulls***s and brags about being shot at n the amount of drugs he can handle. anyway, my ex told me last night (b4 we had split) that he is going out for a drink with this guy after work 2nite....... i came over all protective and begged my ex not 2 go out with this guy. my ex was just saying "i shud b able to go out with who i like and not have you dictate to me who i can n cant c" which i know is true but i depseratly didnt want my ex getting involved with this guy. others may disagree but i really think that if u truly love sum1 and theres something that makes them feel really really uncomfortable.... then you should do what you can to make them happy (maybe im just selfish), but i would do what i could do sort a problem if sum1 i love didnt like something so its what i expect back. anyway.... in a rage that my ex would even want to waste his time hanging with a bulls***ting gangster wannabe i said that if he went out it would be finished between us. the convorsation rapidly deteriorated after that n that was that foir the night. during the night i realilsed that i went over the top saying that it ws finished and i have been trying to smooth things over but now he wont have none of it and is saying he cant be with me any more becasue i am selfish for even thinkin i can tell him who he should hang with... when all i was trying to do was protect him but went a little overboard. i told him i made a big mistake and how sorry i am n i was just upset coz i think he can do better then hanging with this guy but he is adamant he dont want me back forever......... its hurts even more coz he has been like a father to my daughter and my daughter worships the groud he walks on.... so not only have i lost him but my daughter has lost a fathe rfigure too. i am so upset...... i feel like i cant cope or go about my day to day duties not being his GF, i cant parent my daughter properly, i cant do anything. plesae help me
aleatoryd Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 I'd give it a few days at least for things to calm down. At the moment you're not going to be able to convince him to come back. You were probably right to show concern but things just got a little bit heated. If the relationship was worth anything to him then he'll eventually calm down and come back to you. I think you guys need space. I know this isn't much comfort to you but right now you need to concentrate on looking after your daughter. I would suggest you ask close girl friends or family to spend time with you until he gets back in touch. Good luck!
mental_traveller Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 It sounds like you overreact to things, maybe he just doesn't want to be with someone like that? If you were meant to be together then I doubt you would have had this ridiculous row, I'd say it's best to move on, hard as it may be.
MadDog Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I agree with mental. It's possible you crossed a line with him by telling him who he can't hang out with. There's nothing worse than a demanding/bossy girlfriend, let me tell you. He has the right to not want to put up with that kind of girlfriend. Next time, try treating your man better.
littlepiggy1 Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I can appreciate being concerned about your b/f hanging out with a wannabe criminal. I know that if I had a g/f who was hanging out with druggies and so on, I wouldn't like it either. OTOH, you can't control who he associates with. Especially if he works with and is friends with the guy. Telling him who he can be friends with will come across as controlling and demanding. And it will probably end up having the exact opposite effect intended. Give it some time to calm down, then try to talk about the situation rationally. Your concerns are valid, but you have to accept the fact that he's an adult and can associate with who he chooses.
MadDog Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 OTOH, you can't control who he associates with. Especially if he works with and is friends with the guy. Telling him who he can be friends with will come across as controlling and demanding. And it will probably end up having the exact opposite effect intended. Telling her boyfriend who he can be friends with comes off as controlling and demanding because it's controlling and demanding. If I were him I would have ended it with her too.
RecordProducer Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I came over all protective and begged my ex not 2 go out with this guy. my ex was just saying "i shud b able to go out with who i like and not have you dictate to me who i can n cant c" which i know is true but i depseratly didnt want my ex getting involved with this guy. He is right. You should NOT control him, hun. That's not protective at all. Let him see himself who his friend really is. He's not marrying him, he's just hanging out with him. You're neither his mother nor his wife. anyway.... in a rage that my ex would even want to waste his time hanging with a bulls***ting gangster wannabe i said that if he went out it would be finished between us.Well you asked for it. Was it worth the pain? Why are you so desperate about him seeing this guy? i told him i made a big mistake and how sorry i am n i was just upset coz i think he can do better then hanging with this guy but he is adamant he dont want me back forever.. He'll come around if he loves you. If you apologized and said you made a mistake, the ball is in HIS court now. He's probably just teaching you a lesson right now, but he is also re-considering being with a controlling woman. You might want to write him a nice email. In the future, don't interfere with his choice of friends. How would YOU feel if he told you to ditch your friends or he'll ditch you?
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