Question: Did the MP finances affect the outcome of your affair?

[target-d]

I have posted a similar question on the Infidelity forum: So far as you know, did the family finances of your MM/MW affect the outcome of your affair?

 

Did your own finances affect the outcome in any way?

[Karis]

He is so broke it's pathetic. He left her to be with me and has nothing. The house is up for sale, she moved out and stuck him with every bill. SO, he is paying all that on his own, plus car payments, insurances etc. and lawyer fees. He can barely afford gas to come see me. He is going through financial hell and it's just beginning. I told him I could care less if he comes through with the shirt on his back. I have everything we could possibly need.

[Patricia]

My MM left a little over three weeks ago. We finally talked last Thursday. He'd been ignoring my calls and emails. His reason was that he knows that as soon as he sees me, all his feelings come back. He said that its a good thing he went back when he did, she did her taxes without him, claimed everything and got a 5K refund. He had his done, and owed 15K! He somehow talked her into doing it over jointly and they came out owing 10K. He said he had to take a loan out to pay his share. He says that he had 40K in credit card debt, and she suggested a home equity loan so he could pay everything off. I told him if he did that, he'd be even more obligated to staying in that marriage. He said that he wasn't obligated to doing anything. But I reminded him he quit-claimed the house to her in 10/04 when she finally started divorce preceedings. He'd left her end of June 04. But he went back Jan 05 and I believe it was because he knew what he would lose in a divorce. But he came back to me in June 05, went back end of July, and this time he came back in January but left again March 31. He did admit some things to me llast Thursday that I'd already guessed, but never heard him own up to it. He said yes he was scared at what he'd lose financially. Plus everytime he left, he was giving her $2,000. He said that basically he could take that now and pay down his debts and even save some when he's home. With me, he was always broke after he paid his bills and her. So he used his credit cards all the time, which I noticed and that was kind of a "red flag". He also said that he was going to see a theripist, because he thought something was wrong with him the way he kept hurting his kids and me, by going back and forth. I called him this morning and he said that he couldn't keep hurting me and dragging me through this again. He said that I needed to move on. He had too many things going on at home. He was going to try and make it work. I've heard that so many times before. I write in a journal and can read back all the times. Its a pattern of his. In the past, within a month, he's calling me again. There is no love between them. After twenty years, he says he's been unhappy the past ten. Even when she called me one week after he left, yelling at me to come get him and his Harley that she was done with the marriage, didn't love him anymore, had met someone, that he forced his way back this time. But I told her I couldn't do that until I talked to him. When she gave him the phone, he hung up on me. He asked me last week, why I didn't come and help him leave? I asked him, if I had shown up, would you have come back with me? and he said yes. He said that she was so done with him, she didn't want him there at all. I guess they talked and now everything is alright. If I were his wife, and knew he had cheated and lied to me, I wouldn't take him back. But she says her children, 12, 14, & 16 want their dad there. I can't believe how much my heart broke this morning when he told me to move on. He's torn my heart apart so many times. I can't take it anymore.

[officespace]

I have posted a similar question on the Infidelity forum: So far as you know, did the family finances of your MM/MW affect the outcome of your affair?

 

Did your own finances affect the outcome in any way?

 

My experience was that when we first starting seeing each other, money was no object. He told me he was very solid financially. He paid for everything. Trip to Vegas, front-row concert seats, dinners, drinks, etc.....

 

But then the s*** hit the fan. She said she was broke, and he was giving her $2500 a month. She got the electricity shut off, and wasn't paying bills. Suddenly, I started to pick up tabs, bring groceries down to his apartment, cook and eat in (I paid for the food). It was starting to really affect my finances and I got resentful.

 

Then he discovered she got a $6000 paycheck. She told him it was an advance to pay off her credit card. Why wouuld someone pay of their credit card when preparing to go thru a divorce and living hand to mouth? I think she was bulls***ting him on not making any money and taking him to the cleaners, stocking her money away.

 

Once I heard this, I told him I would not be paying for anything more, that he situation was starting to affect me financially. It did get a little better but he also lived off his credit card. We are 6 weeks NC and as far as I know, nothing has changed. What a mess.....

[fisher-man]

I have posted a similar question on the Infidelity forum: So far as you know, did the family finances of your MM/MW affect the outcome of your affair?

 

Did your own finances affect the outcome in any way?

Honestly, no they didn't. However, I did imply to the other woman that finances had something to do with me going back to my wife. For some reason I felt that would hurt her less. I also felt that she would buy the story, as my wife worked outside of the home, and I worked from the home.

[officespace]

Honestly, no they didn't. However, I did imply to the other woman that finances had something to do with me going back to my wife. For some reason I felt that would hurt her less. I also felt that she would buy the story, as my wife worked outside of the home, and I worked from the home.

if that is true, good for you. you didn't string her along. that would have been the greatest gift my ex could have given me.