Javelin Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 (Eh, I posted my original topic in the wrong forum section and cannot delete it...Sorry. ) Well the story begins like this For as long as I can remember (7yrs ago in junior year of high school) I had the biggest crush on one of my best female friends, we’ll call her B! Over a span of about 3 ½ years these feelings became so strong that I started to neglect her and it hurt us both. Honestly, I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I could not tell her how I felt at the time because we were both in relationships. It wasn’t fair to my current girlfriend and it definitely wasn’t fair to her boyfriend. So out of respect for everyone, I kept quiet! A year later. after the neglect and hurt, those feelings blew out of proportion. She finally got so upset with me; she was at the point of not being my friend! That moment I knew I had to confess because she could see straight through the lies & excuses! It was a huge relief for the both of us, however, now knowing how she felt, it became even harder, I swear, I’ve never felt as much heartache thinking about not being with her, than anyone else. That stuff can drive you mad!!! (Fast forward to present day, this could get a little confusing!) Well, last week I had just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 ½ years, a relationship that had been going no where since day 1. B just broke up with her boyfriend at the beginning of last month and was coping. Two weeks ago, one of her on-line friends decides to visit her for a few days and a few sparks fly between them. Only problem is: he’s out of state, like her Ex-boyfriend was. She’s standing firm on not doing another “long distance” relationship! When the friend went home B and I became very close and even closer when I became single. (This is the hard part, please bear with me as I try to explain with honesty.) She explains to me that the online friend was a rebound. Only problem here is that he’s coming back to visit for 3 days in 2 months to attend her brother’s wedding with her. She doesn’t know what type of feelings will reoccur during this period of time. Then there’s me, now that I’m single, she doesn’t want to lose the opportunity to be with me (we discussed this). Yet she doesn’t want to hurt anyone in the process. Over the past week we’ve been really close as mentioned above. One would say we were boyfriend & girlfriend *big smile*. She explains to me how her feelings for Mr Online are not there, and the last time they spoke I was with her and it didn’t end very well. He may not be attending the wedding after all, but I will NOT get my hopes up right now. I should explain Mr Online vs. J (me), I've been here in person all along, he has not. He has always told her that he wanted to be with her, he loves her. She was always like, "You don’t know me." I've always wanted her happy with whom ever she chooses. Up until this week he had a slight advantage over me in terms of kissing, cuddling, and all the emotional stuff. This week, I've far surpassed him in that department, and she continues to comment on how special it is. Now deeper, He has cheated on every girlfriend he has had to date, and he tells B these things over the Internet. He tries to explain to her that he's a changed man. Which I will not believe for a second. I've remained 100% faithful to every girlfriend I've had. ----- He has a young daughter that he neglects and refuses to claim her as his own. The child was born with the excuse of an irresponsible one night stand. To date he has only seen his daughter twice, maybe even just once. I do not have any kids, nor does she. However, if I were to bare a child with a woman I'd take responsibility for what I’d have done! Any man/woman that cannot and will not take care of their own flesh and blood are cowards in my eyes. I'm afraid he may do the same to her if feelings return to him. ----- Lastly, he has plans to move up here to start a new and be with B. This includes leaving his daughter, friends, and family behind. It's a dangerous move and honestly there's a 1/100 chance of him actually going through with it. Unlike him, I tend to think things through instead of irrationally, for example: The cost of living, finding a job, transportation is a hard one. If he were to move here with only 5 months of savings, it wouldnt be pretty for him. He has no family, friends, or anyone to turn to if something goes wrong. He only has a High School Diploma and it's very hard to make decent pay with just that level of education. Yesterday, we decided to have a long honest talk face to face. So we went for a walk in the park and just let it all out: Feelings, status, wants, needs and so forth. So here we are She wants to be with me and she wants us to continue on the path we are taking. I want to be with her. What we have together is very special to us both. What we’ve experienced in the past week has allowed us to sink deeper than friends, but not progress into the title stage. Her feelings for Mr Online are gone, and she is falling harder for me every day. The feelings for my Ex-girlfriend are near nonexistent and I’m tumbling down what seems like this rocky rabbit hole. Yesterday she admits that I was on her mind and not Mr Online and asked me if that was wrong? Neither of us wants to ruin our friendship nor our relationship during the 3 days Mr Online returns in June. As of today, Mr Online and B are becoming more and more distant. Almost to the point where he may cancel coming up for the wedding. Ugh there's just so much to this issue and I have no idea what to do...! Back off and miss the opportunity to be with her? Continue to work on her heart in hopes she'll give it to me completely. Go with the flow...? Man, its driving me nuts! What do you guys suggest I do?!
Author Javelin Posted April 21, 2006 Author Posted April 21, 2006 It's long & confusing I know, but I could really use some help. ;(
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