Guest Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 I’m 19 years old and in an amazing relationship with an 18 year old guy and have been for 7 months now. Everything was perfect until about 2 months ago when certain feelings started haunting me. I now constantly worry that he finds other women attractive and that I am (or in future, will not be) not enough for him. I find it upsetting if he watches certain music videos on TV like the pussycat dolls or anything else with scantily clad women in it. I find it majorly uncomfortable if we are walking down the street and a gorgeous girl walks past. If I’m not with him, it drives me crazy to think what he might be doing, it’s got to the point where I’m initiating sex with him everyday, even if I’m not necessarily in the mood, just so that he is relieved and doesn’t have the urge to pleasure himself using pornographic material after I have left. I know that he loves me and I trust him 100% when he says that he will never cheat on me with another woman, but I can’t trust his mind from wandering. I know that I am not extremely attractive, and it’s killing me to think that women other than myself are able to turn him on. We have talked about this, and he tries his best to reassure me but my feelings are still there. He says that if I ask him to give up using porn when I am not there, he will do so because he loves me, but I don’t have the courage to ask and deep down I think that he will resent me for it. It’s really depressing me and I just don’t know what to do about it. Advice would be really appreciated.
agnf666 Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 You are having a major insecurity and this could cost you your relationship. What you need to think is that he is with you and ONLY YOU! He obviously loves you and thinks you are attractive or he wouldn't be with you. I know it's hard not to think the way you do, but it is just going to cause problems in your relationship. It's not wrong to look, but it is wrong to touch!
tikigods Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 Part of your problem is that you have a low self esteem and seld confidence issues. Its unrealistic to believe that once you are with someone that their eyes will never wander again, heck I am sure there are a few guys that you find attarctive, even if its a movie or something of the like. The thing is that you need to know that he is with you, but if you keep acting the way you are then chances are you will lose him
Vertex Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Look it's natural for guys to look. Same with girls too, I assume. Just because we're in a relationship doesn't mean we suddenly find every other person unattractive -- we still find things attractive, but it does not mean, on that note, that we may even think to act on those attractions in any way. I know that when I was with my girlfriend, I found others attractive, sometimes looked, but never even really thought about much more than that. He is with you and I am sure he finds you attractive. Feel proud that out of all those women out there, YOU are the one he is with. You have him to yourself and he has you, so try not to feel so bad about it! EDIT: Am I crazy for getting turned on by that initiate-sex-every-day comment? Mmm I wish I had that Although in your case it seems to be for reasons of insecurity... just think happy thoughts and if all else fails, talk to him about it.
MadDog Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 EDIT: Am I crazy for getting turned on by that initiate-sex-every-day comment? Mmm I wish I had that Although in your case it seems to be for reasons of insecurity... just think happy thoughts and if all else fails, talk to him about it. Nah, it's not as hot if the chick's heart isn't into it. It is hot, however, when the girl really wants it badly a couple times a day. That's the best.
Vertex Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Well that is what I mean It is hot in the latter sense.
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