sunnie23 Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 hey everybody, so anyone here who has read my posts knows that i've had some issues in my relationship with panic and anxiety. I am seeing a therapist, and have uncovered a lot of things that were causing the problem. I am happy to report that i haven't had a panic attack since i started the therapy. here's what i'm looking for imput on: the past couple of weeks i've had some pretty serious feelings for my bf. i honestly think i have fallen in love with him. it's been five months. the thing is, all day all i do is think about how badly i want to tell him, to the point where i'm ready to send it in a txt. but then i actually see him in person and i don't feel ready to say it anymore. i can't even get words close to that out of my mouth. he is incredible, i have an amazing time with him and i don't want to lose him. he deserves to know how i feel. why can't i tell him? should i just be a chicken and send it in a message? or just wait until i can say it in person? as seinfeld says, it's a pretty big matza ball hanging out there. i don't want to ruin anything!!!!
whichwayisup Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 Until you're ready, don't say it. And when you do, say it face to face. The thing is, that urge you get, to say it while online or in an email is so easy. It's non-personal and you're not there to see his reaction or prepared to hear it back. Online, you can think it and the next thing you know, you could be typing it! Just go with the flow. It will happen when the time feels right. Enjoy him and have fun. Do some nice things, like buy him flowers, or if he's into a certain hobby, get him a gift certificate - Because you just want to be nice and show how much you appreciate him. The actions will say alot too. I'm glad to hear that your anxiety is getting better! That's excellent!
MadDog Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Do some nice things, like buy him flowers, or if he's into a certain hobby, get him a gift certificate Okay. I was going to let this slide but I can't help it anymore. This must be the third time I heard the suggestion of buying a man flowers. It's seriously the worst suggestion ever. What use does the average man have for flowers? Are there new breeds of manly flowers that kick ass (e.g. are carnivorous and will eat small dogs)? Or maybe ones that grow breasts instead of leaves? Seriously. I need flowers about as much as I need thong underwear for men.
Agent M Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 I definately agree with the first reply you got. Has he told you he loves you? That's always a toughie. BUT, in the long run it works itself out. It's harder to play games and wonder....if he truly likes you he won't be put off by it. It also may help in working on your anxiety if you go for it (not too soon, not too late). It's really your call. I can relate...I've never actually loved a boyfried and I have one now that is coming close, but not there yet. I can't wait to tell him I love him (when I do) but I also wonder if it chases people away. The bottom line is if he's into you, it probably won't. Have you explained your anxiety issues to him? Perhaps he would be understanding of that and it might open some doors of communication for you, and ultimately make this issue easier.
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Okay. I was going to let this slide but I can't help it anymore. This must be the third time I heard the suggestion of buying a man flowers. It's seriously the worst suggestion ever. What use does the average man have for flowers? Are there new breeds of manly flowers that kick ass (e.g. are carnivorous and will eat small dogs)? Or maybe ones that grow breasts instead of leaves? Seriously. I need flowers about as much as I need thong underwear for men. Obviously you've never had a woman give YOU flowers and be touched by it. No, I mean emotionally touched, NOT by a boob flower. Silly!
Author sunnie23 Posted April 28, 2006 Author Posted April 28, 2006 i have to agree with maddog. if i sent him flowers and he liked it that would breed a whole new anxiety. i'd be worrying that he'd be the next in line for a starring role in brokeback mountain part 2. i did send him cookies though and he loved them. things are really good for us. i do need to explain the anxiety to him and i want to but i haven't decided on an approach yet. i'm worried he might take it the wrong way or think less of me because of it. i bought him a cute card and wrote a lot about how he makes me feel, including telling him that i love him but that i don't have the courage to say it out loud yet. i think he'll appreciate the card and it will be a stepping stone for me. but then i think, c'mon sarah, this is a cop out, just say it!!!!
vampress1 Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Okay. I was going to let this slide but I can't help it anymore. This must be the third time I heard the suggestion of buying a man flowers. It's seriously the worst suggestion ever. What use does the average man have for flowers? Are there new breeds of manly flowers that kick ass (e.g. are carnivorous and will eat small dogs)? Or maybe ones that grow breasts instead of leaves? Seriously. I need flowers about as much as I need thong underwear for men. Hysterical!! I love reading your posts Maddog! Why not try to ease your way into it... even jokingly tell him you're in danger of falling for him. I think that way you can get a sense if he's feeling similarly. You could say "I really love hanging out with you... if you're not careful, i may fall in love with you". If he's in love with you, or aproaching that point, he may say it first. If not, you have at least put it out there so when you are really ready, it won't be a shock.
allina Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 i bought him a cute card and wrote a lot about how he makes me feel, including telling him that i love him but that i don't have the courage to say it out loud yet. I don't kinow about the card, I sort of feel like it will put pressure on him to tell you he loves you. It might scare him if he isn't ready to say "i love you" to you. He may not know how to react or what to say to you. I would wait for him to say it to you first, and reply with a happy "i love you too"
jerbear Posted April 28, 2006 Posted April 28, 2006 Okay. I was going to let this slide but I can't help it anymore. This must be the third time I heard the suggestion of buying a man flowers. It's seriously the worst suggestion ever. What use does the average man have for flowers? Are there new breeds of manly flowers that kick ass (e.g. are carnivorous and will eat small dogs)? Or maybe ones that grow breasts instead of leaves? Seriously. I need flowers about as much as I need thong underwear for men. Been there done that! I sent my good old friend (also a guy) flowers. It was the same as my ex's (female) but smaller; she got the largest "Stunning Beauty" from FTD. He was being an pain about how I couldn't decide on what to get her; and I said why you jealous and want one too? give me your address. He gave it to me and I sent him flowers! :lmao: :lmao: He told me it smelled good and made him the laughing joke of the week. :lmao: :lmao: Good to have friends! Nothing wrong with a guy getting flowers.
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